Late Night Phone Calls (What are your experiences?)

Way more times than I'd ever like to have.

Funniest one was a newly minted E-5 that got in a fight in a bar...
with some dude's girlfriend.

She lost a tooth; he got smoked by a beer bottle.
Girl wins.

Him - a weekend in the cooler. Since he was a corrections officer, and the "what are you in for" question definitely had the wrong answer, he was looking pretty rough on Monday when he came to see me and explain himself.

I was on "courtesy patrol". I drove a van to pick up soldiers from bars. I drove to a strip club to find a bloodied young kid sitting on a curb with 2 bouncers standing over him. I got out began berating the bouncers. These 2 huge black guys looked bewildered and explained innocently that it wasn't them(which was surreal) Come to find out he was heckling a Vietnamese stripper. Called her racial slurs and this tiny woman used her high heels to beat the heck out of this drunk kid from the stage.

Yep. Had to get up in the middle of the night to go pick up my First Sergeant charged with DUI.