Posted on Jan 17, 2023
Have you ever experienced grief? How did you get through it?
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Have you ever experienced grief? How did you get through it?
Resiliency
Mental Health
Depression
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 17
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Lost my 12-year-old son 24 years ago. You don't get through grief. The wound scars over. It is always with you. It is never behind you.
The painful moments grow farther apart and shorter in duration.
The pain loses its crippling intensity and becomes a dull nagging ache with which you can function. And that healing brings a sense of guilt.
I found that when my grief was at its darkest, the best course was to help someone else with no expectation that they would or could do a thing in return.
The painful moments grow farther apart and shorter in duration.
The pain loses its crippling intensity and becomes a dull nagging ache with which you can function. And that healing brings a sense of guilt.
I found that when my grief was at its darkest, the best course was to help someone else with no expectation that they would or could do a thing in return.
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SPC James Neidig
I Lost My 14 Year Old Son To A Drunk Driver In 2004 , And I Blamed Myself For Not Protecting Him.
With The Help Of A VA Grief Counselor And Time I Realized It Was Not My Fault But The Drunk Drivers.
His Death Anniversary Was About 2 Weeks Ago , And Yes I Still Cried Even After All These Years !
With The Help Of A VA Grief Counselor And Time I Realized It Was Not My Fault But The Drunk Drivers.
His Death Anniversary Was About 2 Weeks Ago , And Yes I Still Cried Even After All These Years !
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SPC James Neidig
Maj John Bell
No Sir, We Should Not , Especially At That Young Age, He Didn’t Get A Chance To Be A Man , Your Son Didn’t Either
No Sir, We Should Not , Especially At That Young Age, He Didn’t Get A Chance To Be A Man , Your Son Didn’t Either
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PO3 Glenn Letts
I lost my 23-year-old son in 2005 due to a relapse with his cancer, we lived with the cancer for 12 years. I was able to cope by remembering his achievements, Honor student in collage and Eagle scout. There were other achievements but the list is long. I will never get over his passing, but over time the hurt is not as great.
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Many times throughout my life. From grief from the death of loved one to that caused by the inability to help the same.
How I got though it was the same - leaning on and sharing with friends and family, many who were going through the same grief I was.
How I got though it was the same - leaning on and sharing with friends and family, many who were going through the same grief I was.
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Anyone who serves long enough will experience some level of depression, loss, anxiety or stress. The key is finding a healthy outlet or hobbie and also finding someone you can speak to. It doesn't have to be a counselor, therapist or Chaplain/priest/pastor but having someone you can speak to is huge. I only served 11 1/2 years before I was medically retired but in that time I accrued quite a lot to fill my proverbial glass. You have to have an outlet to vent the pressure and steam and everyone needs a friend to talk to. Bottling up that ugliness will eat you from the inside. Every unit I served at had multiple Service Members attempt and/or commit suicide. Every single one. And it came down to people not talking to people and leadership not engaging their people.
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SSgt Christophe Murphy
A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney I loved my time in Uniform. But it wasn’t a cake walk.
Every unit I served at there were Marines committing Suicide.
I lost a lot of Friends to Iraq and Afghanistan. I lost more after the fact due to suicide, dying of their long term wounds or they ended up getting sick from toxic exposure. I served 7 months in combat plus 3 1/2 years in high risk areas while on Embassy duty.
I loved serving but it involved a lot of loss and I have daily pain from my service. Sounds like you had a blast in the Air Force
Every unit I served at there were Marines committing Suicide.
I lost a lot of Friends to Iraq and Afghanistan. I lost more after the fact due to suicide, dying of their long term wounds or they ended up getting sick from toxic exposure. I served 7 months in combat plus 3 1/2 years in high risk areas while on Embassy duty.
I loved serving but it involved a lot of loss and I have daily pain from my service. Sounds like you had a blast in the Air Force
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A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney
SSgt Christophe Murphy - ....
Actually, At 16 I Was Still Living In Panama. By 16.5 I Returned To The States And Was In Phoenix Until My 17th Birthday, When I Enlisted With Full Intent To Serve My Country; And Asked For My First Assignment To Be Vietnam; And Quite Frankly ,Felt Disappointed And Somewhat Guilty For Not Having Been Sent.......I Returned From Panama TO Enlist And Serve, As Did 2 Of My Brothers Before Me; ..But What Do I Get? Little Rock Air Force Base, In Arkansas, A SAC Unit... Then Off To Korea To Osan AFB..... Did I Enjoy My Time In The Service ?, OH HELL YES....But It Happened By Chance & My Attitude, But Not By My Choice. So That's Where It Stands & I Love My Life. And It's Been ONE HELL Of A GREAT RIDE ..But Keep In Mind, Life Is What You Make Of It, And Most Of it's Your Attitude...And You Seem To Have Some Manner Of An Issue With Yours...
And Only You Can Do Something About It.......
As BILL GATES Is Credited To Have Said:.... "Life ISN'T Fair ~ Get USE To It"...
And That's What We All Have To Do.
Actually, At 16 I Was Still Living In Panama. By 16.5 I Returned To The States And Was In Phoenix Until My 17th Birthday, When I Enlisted With Full Intent To Serve My Country; And Asked For My First Assignment To Be Vietnam; And Quite Frankly ,Felt Disappointed And Somewhat Guilty For Not Having Been Sent.......I Returned From Panama TO Enlist And Serve, As Did 2 Of My Brothers Before Me; ..But What Do I Get? Little Rock Air Force Base, In Arkansas, A SAC Unit... Then Off To Korea To Osan AFB..... Did I Enjoy My Time In The Service ?, OH HELL YES....But It Happened By Chance & My Attitude, But Not By My Choice. So That's Where It Stands & I Love My Life. And It's Been ONE HELL Of A GREAT RIDE ..But Keep In Mind, Life Is What You Make Of It, And Most Of it's Your Attitude...And You Seem To Have Some Manner Of An Issue With Yours...
And Only You Can Do Something About It.......
As BILL GATES Is Credited To Have Said:.... "Life ISN'T Fair ~ Get USE To It"...
And That's What We All Have To Do.
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SSgt Christophe Murphy
A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney - You keep trying to put me into some kind of box. You tried to "make a correction" to my original statement. You accuse me of not enjoying my service. Now you accuse me of having some manner of issue with my attitude. You don't know me, my service, my family, my life or how deep my faith goes. I'm doing as fine as anyone could care to be and don't hold any ill will towards anyone or anything especially my time in the Military. But the original question was regarding whether I experienced grief and I like most have and I stand by my original statement that anyone who serves in the Military long enough does. Whether it's operational stress, situational issues or in my situation it's combat and operational things I was exposed to. There's no chip on my shoulder or weight on my heart but I'm also open about the scars inside and out that remain after my service.
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A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney
SSgt Christophe Murphy - .....
No Box Involved..
Just Pointed Out What I Believe To Be Some Facts.
Your Post Seemed To Indicate That Your Grief IN The Service is Worse.
I Simpy Disagreed....We All Experience Grief Differently; So, I Can't See Where
Being In The Service Should Change Anything About Grief,
And I Failed To Understand Why You Felt, It's Different In The Service.
But Since This Issue Isn't Really All That Important, Let's Leave It At That.
Thanks.
No Box Involved..
Just Pointed Out What I Believe To Be Some Facts.
Your Post Seemed To Indicate That Your Grief IN The Service is Worse.
I Simpy Disagreed....We All Experience Grief Differently; So, I Can't See Where
Being In The Service Should Change Anything About Grief,
And I Failed To Understand Why You Felt, It's Different In The Service.
But Since This Issue Isn't Really All That Important, Let's Leave It At That.
Thanks.
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