Posted on Aug 4, 2015
CH (MAJ) William Beaver
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Have you ever gotten to a point in your life when you seriously considered, or possibly attempted suicide?

If so, what was it that caused to to choose to live? Or did someone rescue you? How did you overcome that level of despair?

As a 24 yr old, I attempted suicide by trying to run my car head on into an oncoming log truck. At the last second I got scared and chose life, driving off into the ditch. My faith, my best friend, and my professional mentors saved my life. I learned, with God's strength, that life can be handled, no matter how tough. I am 50 now and life hasn't been a bed of roses. But no matter how long or dark the night, the sun always comes up for me. What about you?
Posted in these groups: B4caadf8 SuicideResiliency logo ResiliencyHebrews 11.1 Faith
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Responses: 12
LTC Stephen F.
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Edited 9 y ago
CH (MAJ) William Beaver, I considered suicide many times in my life. I was molested and threatened with death by the time I was 10 years old which may have had some bearing on my depression. I took many foolish chances as a young man but by the grace of God I survived with mere bruises and breaks. I had bouts with clinical depression defined as making serious plans to end my life and being prepared to execute those plans.
I was clinically depressed before I recognized my need for a savior in 1987 and repented and became a believer in my Lord and savior Jesus the Christ.
I have been clinically depressed after that point. While the depth of depression is the same before and after Christ the sense of hopelessness I experienced prior to my salvation was not.
After my first wife served no-contact orders on my while I was going through a recent diagnosis of heart disease, I was severely depressed and made a plan to drive off a cliff somewhere. I calmly began to execute my plan when the Lord prompted me to trust Him, turn around and go home. The level of depression was the same as before but I had hope.
Hope in Christ is not a maybe it is the most surest thing in existence. I have been through many unbelievable challenging situations since my last confrontation with suicidal thoughts in the 1990's.
My hope in Christ and my absolute faith in God helps me each day. God sustains me. They that endure to the end the same shall be saved.
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SGT Forrest Stewart
SGT Forrest Stewart
9 y
Amen....
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SFC Founder
SFC (Join to see)
9 y
Amen!!!!
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CMSgt Mark Schubert
CMSgt Mark Schubert
9 y
LTC Stephen F.
Sir, you and I have a LOT in common!, Sir
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SGT Kristin Wiley
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Edited 9 y ago
I tried to commit suicide when I was 14, I was dealing with abusive grandparents, parents who didn't believe me, and my high school coaches unwilling to work with me while I was sick and in therapy. My support group was down to zero, and eventually I realized that I as long as I'm looking out for myself and doing what's right in my eyes that I'm worth living worth. My psychiatrist asked me once 'who's voice do you imagine as your conscience'. Not sure what other people hear, but my psychiatrist seems to think it's normal to imagine a parent or mentor's voice advising you when debating a tough decision. I've only ever heard my voice, because everyone in my life who was supposed to be a parental or mentor-type figure has let me down in a big way at one point or another. I trust myself and I think I'm worth living for. I also don't think those people who have made it their goal to make my life miserable are worth dying for.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
SGT Kristin Wiley
9 y
I actually think it's easier to deal with negative thoughts after my experience. I recognize when I get feelings that are similar to depression, and I can use that recognition to get help before it gets worse. I also know that suicide is not a solution to ANY problem, and would never consider it again. At my last command I was able to help a few soldiers suffering with depression. For some reason I was always asked by the soldiers to accompany them to behavioral health and not the soldier's NCO. They don't even know my story, but somehow they know that I can understand some of what they are going through better than most. When a soldier in my unit committed suicide, I was so upset that our leaders didn't recognize the signs. I blamed them for a long time before I realized it's because they haven't experienced those thoughts first-hand. It upsets me that our leaders don't know why soldiers commit suicide, but if you've heard their stories and experienced those thoughts yourself, you would know. It's completely preventable, but the ignorance of our leaders who are incapable of understanding has created a roadblock to resolution. The system we have in place often makes the situation worse, rather than helps. I have multiple stories of soldiers I've helped I can give you as examples on how we are failing our troops.
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PO2 Jonathan Scharff
PO2 Jonathan Scharff
9 y
SGT Kristin Wiley - That is so sad to here as well. The services seem to spend a lot of time "educating" on a lot of useless topics, maybe we need to start the "Wiley Suicide Prevention" training! I am sincere in my offer...if there is every there is anything I can do please let me know.
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SGT Kristin Wiley
SGT Kristin Wiley
9 y
I don't think it's necessarily suicide prevention training we need. We need to establish an environment of trust, and have a service full of members dedicated to upholding their values. Soldiers will trust who they trust, we can't force that trust on them. If something is wrong I want your battle buddy with you. I don't care if he's in a unit across post, because I know my soldier would feel more secure with a battle buddy he can trust to get him through the hard times then an NCO who may or may not be looking out for his soldier's welfare. It's understanding that you might not understand what a soldier is going through, and allowing someone who can understand help. I've seen troops taken to behavioral health, and those 'specialists' have often made the situation worse. They don't need some cookie cutter spiel from a civilian shrink who can never understand what it's like to serve or how it feels to be in that dark place. We're soldiers, we're fighters, we don't want to turn away from the battle because it's getting to hard, we want our leaders to step up and fight the battle with us.
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PO2 Jonathan Scharff
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MSG Intermediate Care Technician
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Honestly, I love myself too much to commit suicide. Besides, my wife would kill me.
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