Posted on Jan 24, 2023
How likely is my spouse to be charged with adultery and fraternization? What type of punishment should be expected?
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While I was deployed, I found out my husband was unfaithful and having extramarital affair with a Pfc from another unit. Him being a SGT. This was not the first time he was unfaithful to me prior adultery affairs. I gathered evidence, such as confessions from previous mistresses and pictures of him being unfaithful, such as kissing, hugging text
Messages showing him being affectionate, making comments like saying I love you to them and he’s so proud to have them as there are lover etc.
Now with this Pfc , I confronted her, and I let her know my husband was married to me, and that it would be smart. If she let us figure out these issues, and to leave him alone. this Pfc was around my child. She showered in my bathroom. She stayed in my house. She slept on my bed. She had sex on my bed. She sent me pictures of them with him on top of her, kissing her on the head and I was able to get pictures from her of them holding hands with his tattoos showing. He has abandoned me in order to be with this girl, and she claimed I was harassing her when I was asking her and begging her to leave my husband alone and let us figure things out on our own upon returning from my deployment. He and she continues the affair upon my return from deployment, and she lied to my commander about not seeing him yet she was caught with him the very same day she lied to my commander and claimed harassment.
The affair is continuing, but I don’t have any new evidence. My husband has been flagged for four months now and today he claims to have a second reading with his battalion commander.
During this whole investigation, I provided sworn statements with dates, timelines, pictures, telephonic confessions from the mistress ( she did not know she was being recorded) but it is legal in my state to record a conversation. How likely is my husband to be punished and what are the punishments looking like this has affected my mental health upon returning from deployment, knowing that I lost my entire family in my home due to the selfish actions of my husband and his private first class who knew what they were doing and had no remorse for the family I am now mourning. Not only is it affecting myself, but it is affecting our child as well..
Messages showing him being affectionate, making comments like saying I love you to them and he’s so proud to have them as there are lover etc.
Now with this Pfc , I confronted her, and I let her know my husband was married to me, and that it would be smart. If she let us figure out these issues, and to leave him alone. this Pfc was around my child. She showered in my bathroom. She stayed in my house. She slept on my bed. She had sex on my bed. She sent me pictures of them with him on top of her, kissing her on the head and I was able to get pictures from her of them holding hands with his tattoos showing. He has abandoned me in order to be with this girl, and she claimed I was harassing her when I was asking her and begging her to leave my husband alone and let us figure things out on our own upon returning from my deployment. He and she continues the affair upon my return from deployment, and she lied to my commander about not seeing him yet she was caught with him the very same day she lied to my commander and claimed harassment.
The affair is continuing, but I don’t have any new evidence. My husband has been flagged for four months now and today he claims to have a second reading with his battalion commander.
During this whole investigation, I provided sworn statements with dates, timelines, pictures, telephonic confessions from the mistress ( she did not know she was being recorded) but it is legal in my state to record a conversation. How likely is my husband to be punished and what are the punishments looking like this has affected my mental health upon returning from deployment, knowing that I lost my entire family in my home due to the selfish actions of my husband and his private first class who knew what they were doing and had no remorse for the family I am now mourning. Not only is it affecting myself, but it is affecting our child as well..
Article 15
Adultery
Fraternization
UCMJ
Posted 3 y ago
Responses: 94
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You stated that they are not in the same command. Since he and she do not report to each other, it seems to be a civil matter. Divorce his a$$, collect money and move on. He WILL revert to the same behavior at the first opportunity. Clearly he does not love or respect you.
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PO1 Don Uhrig
SFC Kelly Fuerhoff I am genuinely sorry that you had such a bad experience in your life. That is terribly unfortunate and I'm sure that you did not deserve that. I tried to answer the question that was posed in a way that would benefit the victim the best. It's clear that you don't agree with that response and I'm sorry about that. I wish you all the good things that life has to offer.
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When we were deployed to Panama a sp4 in my platoon had to go back to ft Polk because his wife had been reported by a fellow soldiers wife of adultery.he went home to arrange care for his kids. The cg kicked his wife off base and sent the mp she was messing around with to the brig. They were charged with the break up a military family and adultery. Not sure what else because it was over 30 years ago and the memory ain't what it used to be.
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LtCol Bruce Janis
Going back 20+ years, didn’t the first B-52 female pilot get caught playing around and lost her billet because of it?
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First, I'm not a lawyer and don't play one on TV either. However, I suggest you look at your situation from another perspective. Try to take out emotion as hard as that is. If your husband gets demoted your combined household income will be reduced. BUT people who cheat once will almost always cheat again. In your situation, as you described, your husband has had more than one affair. My point is, do you expect him to change? Or more precisely, why stay married? If I were you, I'd file and cease trying to prove your case to his commander. Drama like this can consume all your energy and is unhealthy. Aside from being female, the person who files first holds more cards in the process. You will be the plaintiff and he will be the defendant. Most states are no-fault states. Find out if yours or isn't. Adultery isn't material in no-fault states. Anyway, you want to be the plaintiff. Keep your moves classified. Tell no one but your lawyer. Let your lawyer tell you if you need any caught red-handed evidence. You probably won't. Side note: if you are dealing with emotional issues, seek professional help. Make sure it is in your Mil medical records. Airborne!
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Please be smart and do not worry about punishments for your spouse. BUT FIND A GREAT ATTORNEY and get rid of him
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Forget the UCMJ...get a civilian shark of an attorney and nail his bootie with alimony and child support up the wazzoo....trust me it hurts a heck of a lot more when you get into his payck than to sit around and get dumped while you try and figure things out...there is nothing to figure out and for God's sakes don't for a second buy off on that "I'm so sorry" routing...if he's sorry he's sorry because 1) he got caught and 2) you are deep deep deep into his wallet...with his apology all you will get in time is the same dog but with a different set of fleas.
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Why are you still with him if I may ask. Seems like he is not likely to change his ways.
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As a dependent your are free to send proof and voice your concerns to the highest levels of command. A well placed email to the EEO or someone who is a mandatory reporter will shake things up.
Trying to work up the chain of command using a formal process usually stalls and you invite 20 different people's point of view and proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Don't spend another moment being miserable if you can do something about it.
Trying to work up the chain of command using a formal process usually stalls and you invite 20 different people's point of view and proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Don't spend another moment being miserable if you can do something about it.
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SFC Jerald Bottcher
Actually she is not a dependent. She is a servicemember married to another servicemember. Son in this case the case is stronger as it definitely affects good order and discipline
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You can:
1. Call the IG if all else fails.
2. Pursue a divorce and have him pay the alimony.
3. Filing a lawsuit toward the PFC.
Note: There was a 180 year old law in Georgia (If I remember correctly; please, verify before proceed with a lawyer) that a woman used it to sue another woman for stealing her husband back in the 90's. There may be something you can do similar to that.
4. Join them in bed and everyone goes down together:-- you, your husband, your kid(s), and the PFC; but you may have fun on the way down at least.
5. If I were you, I would divorce and move on with my life.
Good luck,
1. Call the IG if all else fails.
2. Pursue a divorce and have him pay the alimony.
3. Filing a lawsuit toward the PFC.
Note: There was a 180 year old law in Georgia (If I remember correctly; please, verify before proceed with a lawyer) that a woman used it to sue another woman for stealing her husband back in the 90's. There may be something you can do similar to that.
4. Join them in bed and everyone goes down together:-- you, your husband, your kid(s), and the PFC; but you may have fun on the way down at least.
5. If I were you, I would divorce and move on with my life.
Good luck,
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SSG Watis Ekthuvapranee
1SG(P) Dean Mcbride (MPER) (SPHR) - As part of problem solving: List ALL possible solutions, analyze these solutions, select best possible solution (according to the information available), implementing solution, re-evaluate the solution, revises and reimplementing solution, iteration the problem solving sequence until desired result is acquired or all exhausting determination for the desire result. I'm sure you understand the process, 1SG.
PS. you missed the 5th options, which was the one I would choose. I'm not vindictive person. Just implementing what the Army have taught me. Besides, I'm Buddhist. :P
PS. you missed the 5th options, which was the one I would choose. I'm not vindictive person. Just implementing what the Army have taught me. Besides, I'm Buddhist. :P
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1SG(P) Dean Mcbride (MPER) (SPHR)
SSG Watis Ekthuvapranee ,
I understand all the problem solving gobbledygook and applaud you for going through it. However, I just did not think it was appropriate to throw in the comment about everyone joining in bed (including the kids). It smacks of both child abuse and pedhophilia and even if jokeing, it would not be appropriate. Your part 5 is proper and properly the best answer. I would also get JAG in the picture for protection against future retaliation and assistance in how to handle everything. As for your religion, I don't see where Buddhism has a part in this issue.
I understand all the problem solving gobbledygook and applaud you for going through it. However, I just did not think it was appropriate to throw in the comment about everyone joining in bed (including the kids). It smacks of both child abuse and pedhophilia and even if jokeing, it would not be appropriate. Your part 5 is proper and properly the best answer. I would also get JAG in the picture for protection against future retaliation and assistance in how to handle everything. As for your religion, I don't see where Buddhism has a part in this issue.
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SSG Watis Ekthuvapranee
Well, I guess, that's why you are the 1SG and I am the SSG. ;} My philosopy is, "To know what's evil is to acknowledge that it exists. To acknowledge that an intangible exist, we must accept that evil act has happened." Though, I have the abyss stared back at me during deployments couple of times. I'm sure you have also. We, human, can be the best and the worst of all the living things on earth. Anyway, I rest my case. Let readers be the juror.
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CPL Phillip Alder
LtCol Bruce Janis - I was referring to the 3rd suggestion of SSG Watis Ekthuvapranee that the wife sue the female PFC not her husband.
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Flagged for 4 months prior sounds like he was already doing things that he shouldn't have been. As far as Article 15, he can expect a maximum of 45/45, reduction in one rank, and forfeiture of 1/2 month's pay for 90 days. The pay forfeit can be suspended but then the flag will be extended to 6 months.
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I know it sucks but my advice would be to get some counseling and move on. Obviously he already has.
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Sgt Bob Corridan
I've never seen counseling work...someone telling me "you need to put this behind you and to move forward with your life" never made any sense to me when all the while all I wanted is to whip his backside endlessly to the point that every time he saw he he wet his pants.
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