Am I a bad NCO or just inexperienced?

You're a Corporal, Corporals are not nice. As long as your standards are "the standards" and not your pet peeves keep driving on.

Every unit has it's bulldog and that is a good thing. If the NCO who has told you that you are being condescending in counseling is reputable, then pay attention and work on your tone. If it's from the slackers then smile and do a self check. Condescension or copping a holier than thou attitude causes folks to not listen to your recommendations for improvement and will make you ineffective.

As far as loosing your cool goes, as long as you aren't swearing at folks or laying hands on them it's all part of 20. Not a good thing but not the end of the world either. Depending on the Soldier that may be what reaches them.

My 2 cents worth is to remember you want every Soldier to be a good troop, that means they meet the standards. Attack the issue, deficiency or action and not the person and then if you go off the rails it's against the deficiency and not a personal attack.

Sage, you’re on your way of becoming a great NCO. Soldier’s today is a very sensitive lot and when a hard charging individual steps up to the plate and takes charge even though they are of the same rank structure, they view that as a threat instead of a commodity. Now what do I mean as a commodity? Good question…Let me first point out when one individual takes enough interest in another to take time and point out their deficiencies and short-comings, then recommends an avenue to correct such fault, and those lacking in particular skills and or disciplines are in disagreement, it’s natural they would harbor some ingratitude and often resentment. They will classify you as a kiss ass, brown nosier…someone who only wishes to advance at their expense. That my dear Corporal is nothing more but envy. Now let’s take a few moments and discuss what makes a great NCO shall we…first, it takes a leader who cares for the general welfare of their troops. This welfare covers various areas from teaching, training, evaluating and rating the proficiency of those charged to them. It also covers their mental and physical well-being. There’s and old saying; you can get more done with honey then you can from shyt. Give them a reason to believe and trust in you…Set an example for them to follow and challenge them along the way. Never ask them to do something that you, yourself are not capable of doing…for if they see you are unwilling, they too will be unwilling. Strive for excellence in everything you do. As a junior NCO you will learn as you go. My best advice is to listen, observe and make mental notes how superior NCO’s deal with the soldiers under their charge. Some tactics and techniques will not always workout the way you want them too, you just have to be able to adjust, adapt and overcome those barriers. Don’t give up! Always resonate a positive attitude and continue to build comradery among your peers and subordinates. Never try to be their friends, for this is a sign of weakness. Be the one who is the gray guy. Don’t only think outside of the box but think about the outside surrounding perimeters you’ll be surprised of how you can resolve situations. What it all boils down to Sage, is you’ll learn as you go. Just hang tough and you’re come out just fine. There’s a little saying I think NCO’s should adopt and it goes something like this: When it’s time to fight, you fight like you’re the third monkey on the ramp to Noah’s ark…and Brother, it’s startin’ to rain.” This could mean multiple things, it’s how you perceive it and in what way you may apply it in your military career. Good luck and keep charging forward.

I am going to be straight with you. Quit whining and do your job. You are not their friend, peer or their babysitter. Your job is to make sure they do their job to the absolute best of their ability. If they mouth off, put them in their place. But be mindful, if you bust their ass be fair, make the punishment fit the crime. You can be a "bitch" but be a fair "bitch!" Wear it with pride. Once they see that you are no pushover they will stop questioning you and instantly follow your orders.

1. So are you saying that if everyone else does it, its ok? Hmm didn't work for Nazi Germany. Seriously If you are going to be a good leader, then you have to enforce the standards. The names they call you don't mean squat if enforcing standards keep them alive and in 1 piece! That is the difference between playing a leader and being a good/great leader.

Given as how you're a Specialist, I'm going to go with Option C, you're not an NCO at all. Having said that, seeing as how you're stepping up to the plate the way you are, I'd say you're a pretty good Soldier though.

NOTE: This was before the CPL update ;o)

Ok don't loose your cool, you loose credibility that way, be firm and honest. Be ready to back your self up as soldiers like to come back with Regs and stuff. Look up some SGMs and their leaderships strategies and youll be allright. Remember the NCO Creed.

SGT (Join to see) you aren't a bad NCO and you're learning through the school of hard knocks. You've got a great attitude and a strong will to be the very best you can be as a junior NCO. Stay the course and never give up your integrity. Find a great NCO or SNCO that is willing to be your mentor or coach that you can turn to when you have questions or concerns. Find a great mentor here on RallyPoint. There are lots of great NCOs that can assist you. It isn't going to be easy, but you'll find your way and grow into a great BOX. The fact your asking the question itself proves that you care and want to be the very best. There will always be those who you're in charge of that will call you names and talk behind your back, but in the end if you maintain your standards you'll earn their respect. Everyone that has been in your shoes has lost their cool once. If you did it with a specific individual then I would meet with them and let them know that isn't how you operate and let's start all over again. That is me and my advise. Learn from that breakdown in temper and adjust, so you don't let it happen again. Under pressure means you are cool and collective going forward. Anyway, that is my two cents from a former NCO that crossed over to the dark side. Lol.

It's not all that unusual for a strong female leader to be called a bitch--get used to it. You're apparently a first-line supervisor. This is where the action is. You are doing the right thing by making sure your Soldiers meet standards. Leadership above you should support, train, and mentor you. If they aren't, then the unit has bigger problems than you can fix.

There are a variety of counseling techniques. Using your rank and positional authority to direct compliance or UCMJ action is a valid technique in some cases. Sometimes it's not. As an officer I could effectively use this technique, but often didn't because it can ruin the opportunity for cohesive team building. Here's some thoughts:
-Always praise in public and criticize in private, Really. This is important and works.
-Pick your fights. Not every infraction of a possibly obscure directive or tradition requires immediate and forceful correction.
-Some people respond well to a more positive approach. Praise their positive performance. Then ask about the behavior needing correction. Have a real discussion where you actually listen to your subordinate. Work together on a solution.
-Some rules, regs, SOPs, etc., need to be changed because there's a better way to do some processes. Don't be afraid to ask questions about why your subordinates are doing work in a way other than that proscribed. If there's a positive change to be made, become their champion to get things "fixed."
-Inform ignorance, discipline stupid. Some of your subordinates will not know (remain ignorant) of required actions, behaviors, processes, standards, etc. Your job as an NCO is to train them (relieve their ignorance). Show-do-teach-check technique works well. Show them how to do it right. Observe them attempting to do it right, correct, try again, until they get it right. Have them teach you or another Soldier how to do it right. Check up on them after an agreed-to period of time to make sure they are doing it right. Stupid is an entirely different matter. Stupid causes Soldiers to have a lot of problems, such as a DUI. It's difficult for one NCO to train stupid out of people. It takes cultural change. The Army has done well with training stupid racial discrimination out of Soldiers. They are working on Sexual Harassment and Abuse. Do your part to enforce standards intended to control stupid.

I'm sure the Army has on-line leadership training for folks in your grade and SGT. Consider working on those courses.

Well part of it is you are the worst possible rank to be in the army. I hated my time as a Corporal. I found that I was only a NCO when it was convenient regardless of what regs say. So you will have a harder time than a Sergeant will because you are still viewed as just an E-4.

You can enforce the standards without going all Full Metal Jacket on the troops. I found that earning their respect as a person and a leader instead of demanding it was more effective. I also reprimanded in private and praised in public. You will get more positive results if you treat people as professional adults even when they screw up. You have to make them want to work for you. If not, they will only do what they are told and nothing more.

Right, wrong or indifferent you are a NCO and have all of the authority that goes with it. Use it, but don't abuse it. Always keep your cool. Be dispassionate when dealing with issues and focus on the behaviors.

Being a Jr. NCO has it's draw backs, but I commend you on your outlook and that your trying to bring order to chaos. Don't let the other S M's bring you down, but persist in your ways and bring order to your group.