Am I a bad NCO or just inexperienced?

That which is right is not always popular. That which is popular is not always right. Don't let others influence your conduct as an NCO. Do what is right.

Ahh, if I had a nickel for every time I was called a bitch. I'd have a lot of nickels.

You are an NCO, regrettably, you will not be in the popular crowd. Being female should not play a part, but it does to a certain extent. Seek counsel from your leadership to navigate through this minefield. Heed their advice without injecting them into it. This will bolster your standing as a leader.

Also, try hard not to lose your cool. That is the battle lost. Once you raise your voice or curse at your troops, you lose credibility. Know your stuff and remain calm, and you will always take the high road.

Leadership does not say anything about being nice, if anything be consistent (In a good way). Never make it personal you will lose in the end and lose sight of what the issue was all about, talk to others how you would want to be addressed if you were in the wrong. If all that fails, don't get mad, just smile walk away and start writing.

Front line leadership is about direct interaction. Losing your cool is not always a bad thing as it shows that you are serious about your position. People will always resent being told how to behave. The best leaders seem to show people the way instead of telling them where to go. Sorry for fragmenting but I'm at work.

Every unit is different, but it sounds to me like you may have a culture issue. If other NCOs aren’t enforcing standards, then you as a CPL won’t be able to change that culture. This is definitely something you should run up through the NCO Support Channel. It’s not going to change over night, but if you’re persistent, you may be able to get the ball rolling. Good luck, CPL.

You are charged with doing the right thing and you should never feel as if you need to compromise your lead, character, or integrity to get things done.

Sometimes you need to ‘rattle’ some heads but that should be a rare and seldom used approach.

Have a frank discussion and tell these folks that you, their CoC and the Army expects them to behave as soldiers and get their work done and to chip in and help others when they have ‘nothing to do’.

I hope your Sgt, Section Chief, and PSG are backing you.

I would say that the discipline of soldiers varies from unit to unit. I wouldn't identify you as such a vagority. Now moving onto your style of leadership. I am glad you are noticing the issues of those lower enlisted in your unit. Now you have to develop a plan to address that. The real question is how to you guide soldiers to want to conduct themselves in a professional manner. This is the challenge you will face day in and day out. I would try to keep you cool. I wouldn't get upset at your soldiers but I would let them know that they aren't living up to the Army Values. If they don't care then you will have your work cut out for you. You should have the support of your unit's 1SG when doing this. If you are the only one that is pushing soldiers then you might be viewed as a spotlight. I would work on soldier development. Try to develop a SGTs Time program that pushes your soldiers to realize what the standards are. You need them to realize they are not conducting themselves in a professional manner. I hope this helps.

It all comes down to, What do you believe, then take it from there. The answers are always in front of you, you just have to see it.

Not knowing your individual circumstances I suggest that the problems you are having are not restricted to you, but to probably other NCOs. Your situation may reflect some small degree the state of discipline is the Army (and others) today. An NCO should not have to raise their voice or verbally coerce a subordinate to do ordinary tasks in the barracks. In the field or combat, a loud commanding voice is an asset, esp over the din around you. Maybe you have a more senior NCO you can trust and confide in to give you the 'true scoop' as s/he sees it. You should not have to go through your initial career forcing a number of recalcitrant Pvts to do their job. Best wishes to you and pls get back to all us 'old timers' in a few weeks or months and follow up on how you are doing.

CPL Thornberry,
I don't recall having this issue because even from the early times as a Private to Specialist, and before becoming a SGT, I always carried myself a certain way, always. Not because I wanted to look better than anyone else (peers), but it was just the way I was as a person in general. I had that mindset because I knew one day I was going to be their supervisor. For some reason, the Soldiers who were my peers at some point, rendered the proper respect towards me because of who I was as a person and carried myself, like I said before. Been a supervisor is not popularity contest. I had this one 1SG who is a SGM today and he said that when the Soldiers "complain", you're not doing your job. Do not lose your temper, that's one of the things I did learn. It doesn't matter how hard it could become, stay cool as much as you can because when the tough times come, the Soldiers won't look for you for advise/comfort, especially who used to be your peers.