Posted on Dec 11, 2019
Can an AIT Soldier get married (to a civilian) while on HBL? If so, is this a smart or moronic decision?
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A little backstory: We've been in a very productive, happy relationship for 3 years. We lived together for 6 months prior to me shipping to Basic on 17 Sep. Our relationship stayed strong through BCT and now my 2nd week of AIT. We have never had any serious issues, and want nothing more than to be together after I graduate AIT.
There are a lot of service members in her family, so she knows what she's getting in to.
I won't be classed until late January, and I should receive my PCS orders several weeks after that. I believe it will be easier to get our marriage processed before my orders are made, rather than try to get my orders amended after they're made.
Is that accurate, and if so, a wise decision?
Additionally, since I'm in IET status, am I even authorized to get married? Or do I need approval from my CoC? I am unable to find any information about AIT marriages except for marriages between AIT Soldiers.
Any and all input is appreciated. Thank you for your time.
There are a lot of service members in her family, so she knows what she's getting in to.
I won't be classed until late January, and I should receive my PCS orders several weeks after that. I believe it will be easier to get our marriage processed before my orders are made, rather than try to get my orders amended after they're made.
Is that accurate, and if so, a wise decision?
Additionally, since I'm in IET status, am I even authorized to get married? Or do I need approval from my CoC? I am unable to find any information about AIT marriages except for marriages between AIT Soldiers.
Any and all input is appreciated. Thank you for your time.
Posted in these groups: 
Marriage
Advanced Individual Training (AIT)
Marriage Advanced Individual Training (AIT)
Posted 6 y ago
Responses: 11
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Based upon many years in uniform and seeing these situations play out the best advice I can give is to wait until you are at your duty station then re-evaluate what you need to do. I have seen literally dozens of you Soldier attempt to rush marriage and I can safely say that many didn't make it very far and some of the Soldiers ended up being put out due to complications from the divorce/bad attitudes. Trying to add additional stress on an already stressful life choice is not a good thing. If you two really love each other and are meant to be together a little wait won't hurt.
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No one in the Army can tell you that you can, or cannot, get married. However, it's a much smarter idea to wait a while. There is too much going on with your first PCS to bring all that extra stress onto your spouse at such an early stage of marriage. Wait till you get to your unit, plan ahead, and get married over your block leave.
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CPT Lawrence Cable
MSG (Join to see) - Change your bank accounts, cancel your credit cards and hire a divorce lawyer?
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SFC (Join to see)
CPT Lawrence Cable like that saying... Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
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CPT Lawrence Cable
SFC (Join to see) - I don't have as much of an objection to dating one, although it has been my experience that even dating one has a good chance of separating a young soldier from his money.
Some of my feelings were expressed by one of my platoon sergeants after payday. There was a strip club called Cat West outside of an un-named Army post back in the early 90's that kind of specialized in stripping the young enlisted guys of their pay. Some of the boys came rolling into the barracks with Cat West hats and tassels and such. The PS stopped and in a very southern drawl goes " You boys been down to that Cat West again, haven't you". The boys are agreed that they had been down to the club. He then stated " Spent all your money too, didn't you". The boys again agreed that they had blown most of their pay. He then goes " Didn't get you no (insert vulgar word for sex act), did you". The boys admitted that was in fact the case. That last statement stuck with me ever since. "Tricked you boys again, didn't they". I believe that was the most effective counseling on going to strip clubs I had ever heard.
Some of my feelings were expressed by one of my platoon sergeants after payday. There was a strip club called Cat West outside of an un-named Army post back in the early 90's that kind of specialized in stripping the young enlisted guys of their pay. Some of the boys came rolling into the barracks with Cat West hats and tassels and such. The PS stopped and in a very southern drawl goes " You boys been down to that Cat West again, haven't you". The boys are agreed that they had been down to the club. He then stated " Spent all your money too, didn't you". The boys again agreed that they had blown most of their pay. He then goes " Didn't get you no (insert vulgar word for sex act), did you". The boys admitted that was in fact the case. That last statement stuck with me ever since. "Tricked you boys again, didn't they". I believe that was the most effective counseling on going to strip clubs I had ever heard.
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You could get married, but not the smartest choice. If you've already been together 3 years another 6 months won't hurt. Wait until you get to your first duty station and are settled in.
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You won't know until you know.
From what I've seen, lower enlisted members get married rather quickly, then get divorced and talk a lot of shit about other soldiers who make the "stupid decision" of getting married.
Hope you're not rushing into things to live off post or get extra money. You will have a lot more money as a single soldier.
I'd recommend getting a little time and age under your belt first.
From what I've seen, lower enlisted members get married rather quickly, then get divorced and talk a lot of shit about other soldiers who make the "stupid decision" of getting married.
Hope you're not rushing into things to live off post or get extra money. You will have a lot more money as a single soldier.
I'd recommend getting a little time and age under your belt first.
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If the Army had wanted you to have a wife they would have issued you one .
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if you get married first it will take longer to pcs to your next duty station. This is due to having to get your spouse getting command sponsored. but if sure it's true love than go for it.
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You know, funny story. When I was in AIT (technically graduated, but a hold over for a couple of months and still a private none the less) we took Christmas leave and while on leave I got married. Was in the same boat as you, we have been together and knew each other prior.
Anyways, only thing that came of it was when I got back I told my PSG and they helped me get her added into DEERS and get pay processed. No backlash or anything (which they cant really say anything.) That was about 8 years ago now and going good.
Now with what everyone else has said, maybe you could/should wait some more time. However the choice is yours and if you want to then go for it. Probably have to wait to "phase up" to go out in town, or with it being the holiday season, take leave and do it back home?
Good luck either way though!
Anyways, only thing that came of it was when I got back I told my PSG and they helped me get her added into DEERS and get pay processed. No backlash or anything (which they cant really say anything.) That was about 8 years ago now and going good.
Now with what everyone else has said, maybe you could/should wait some more time. However the choice is yours and if you want to then go for it. Probably have to wait to "phase up" to go out in town, or with it being the holiday season, take leave and do it back home?
Good luck either way though!
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Private Yeakel, as most commenters have already said wait until you are settled in to your new life in the army. After that, wait some more. Marriage isn't something you or anyone should rush into. Good luck with your new career and, if you decide to take that long march towards death with your girlfriend I wish you luck and happiness there too.
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I have the exact same situation right now, been together 4.5 years what did you do, and if you did get married over hbl howd it go. My would be spouse also is in need of some healthcare and financial support. Does this outweigh the stress id take on in the meantime.
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Wait until you get through AIT and assigned to your first. Then consult for chain of command. The main thing is money and money or lack of it will break a marriage. Just wait until you make Specialist. You can make it of E-4 pay but it will be hard. Marriage to another Soldier is a challenge, One may get assigned here and the other there. My experience is that few ever stayed married. All the responses I have read on the forum is good advise. Simply put, wait.
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