Posted on Jan 6, 2016
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
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UPDATE 02/12/2021

WOW! This thread really blew up! And people are still commenting (some ruthless) for the past 5 years, so an official update and hopefully this thread dies down, like, completely.

I finally obtained an IST after a year of trying. State of Indiana never sent my paperwork to Missouri, so I had to call IG to figure out what was going on (that's how I found out that Indiana never sent my paperwork - I wasn't showing up on Missouris' roster, and Indiana wasn't showing me on theirs either, just that I had been discharged from Indiana NG). 3 weeks after the phone call, I was officially in the Missouri ARNG. I drilled faithfully for the remaining 4-5 years, and ETS'd in February 2020. I also had a hysterectomy that same month, and I do feel much better now. The previous November I had my miracle baby, as you can read in the update following this one. He is now 15 months old, and my pride and joy.

To clear the air a bit: No, I was NOT receiving pay while I was AWOL - that comment meant I didn't want to lose the money I COULD BE EARNING while drilling faithfully.

I plead my case to my Commander, 1SG, PS and new SL (he was team leader before this stupid mishap). The NCO that told me I was being discharge DID own up to his mistake. A case of mistaken identity (there was another girl in the unit that it was meant for - we looked a lot alike. A unit of that size, I can understand the mistake, however, I guess I should have stated who I was and maybe all of this wouldn't have happened). Also with that being said, I was never previously discharged before, so I didn't know about the paperwork needing to be signed. ALSO with that note, I still haven't received anything about my recent discharge/ETS as of yet, and it has been a year.

Since I had paperwork with me upon my return, it helped my case. Everything from the miscarriage until my doctors release. After the miscarriage, I did supply my unit with a doctors note - that must have been lost in a pile and never submitted, therefore my unit couldn't process an "in-house medical leave" as some could call it, profile, whatever the case. My then Squad leader didn't even pass on the message of my being in the hospital after my miscarriage, as it was the Friday before drill. One would think he would have the brain capacity to do so - no.

I had a very large fibroid on my uterus. I lost my baby when I was 14 weeks pregnant, but registering as I was almost 20 weeks pregnant. 2 weeks prior to the miscarriage, the tumor, as I called it, and the baby were fighting each other for survival. For those who don't understand fibroids, it's basically a mass of cells (benign, non cancerous) that survives off of blood flow, and so does a baby/fetus. The tumor was dying, and so it was trying to fight to survive. It caused excruciating pain, almost paralyzing pain, and honestly, the way Indianas' healthcare system is set up, I couldn't receive the treatment I needed. I had already known about the fibroid a good 3 years prior to this, and upon being assigned a General MD (until 36 weeks pregnant, then the pregnant woman gets referred to an OB/GYN for the remainder of her pregnancy - no choosing a doctor in this instance), but no one was listening to me when I stated that I would be high risk until it was too late. Due to this nature, my uterus wasn't shrinking like a normal one would - prolonging my healing. I did communicate with my SL during this time, he would say "Just keep me posted", not knowing he wasn't passing the message on. Finally I received release paperwork from my doctor, and I immediately went straight to my unit to give them said paperwork, and that is when the NCO told me the "bad news". I was being discharged. So, what I'm curious about, is why you all say I should have given them my phone number or address after being told about the "discharge"? In my mind, I was getting out. No need for future correspondence. Thank god for Facebook, huh? A non-acceptable form of communication really did work out in the end. I honestly don't know why it took the new SL to get ahold of me, I still wonder to this day, but I'm honestly not going to lose sleep over it.

Times were getting tough for us, my then boyfriend/now Husband relocating for work, and us not knowing anyone, no babysitter for the older kids caused us to move to Missouri so we could be with my aging father and take care of him/him take care of us kind of deal. I didn't think giving my old unit my new forwarding address or phone number mattered, as I "thought" I was being discharged. However, if all that didn't happen, I do believe I would still be in that wretched state (can you guys tell I despise Indiana? I was born there, moved her to Missouri in 1996, and moved to Indiana to be close to my biological dad after my mom passed in 2013, AND hopefully get free of my abusive ex-husband (yes, it worked), where I met my current husband). Ironically, 2 weeks prior to our move to Indiana, I ran into my PS at the restaurant I worked at, and he didn't even seem to know about my miscarriage (which should have thrown flags up by his confused look) and he DID come back for me once he realized I was still on their roster, however we had already moved at that time. So yes, he did try.

SOOO... I think that sums it up.

PLEASE, for all things holy, do not respond to this thread.. It is very old, and it gets tiring repeating myself to new comments (which, hopefully with this update being first on the list, you guys won't need to comment).

Was I a crappy soldier? I don't think so. I always did what was asked of me, within reason. Did I stop caring after being AWOL for a year and coming back? Yes. I know I probably didn't "deserve" respect, perse as far what had happened, but there should be a line as to how to treat a soldier no matter what their APFT score is, their height/weight, etc. Some of the leadership in that unit really sucked, and some of those leaders treated others like shite no matter their stance in the unit....

For instance: a PV2 that never had a passing PT test was able to be team leader before a SPC. Doesn't make sense, does it? I'm not sure what the term is... Hazing, maybe? Bullying definitely. Belittling in front of others, etc. that happened quite a bit. Thats not professionalism. So yes, I stopped caring. Because I was the target. From my own squad leader. No matter what had happened, I didn't deserve that. I could have easily taken a dishonorable being so many states away, but I didn't. I went back and tried my hardest to be a good soldier, 12 hour drive one way. There was even a time that I VOLUNTEERED to be on door guard duty for someone so s/he could use the latrine and get something to eat, to NOT be released the entire day and watching all the other platoons and companies of the Battalion be released to go home. No relief. I got a phone call when I was on my way home asking where I was at, and that "You weren't relieved of your duties, you need to come back" My response? "We were released" to be told "No, the unit was released. You were not." Shit ass unit. Sorry for my language. Once I got my IST I never looked back. Even my new unit had to un-f*ck my paperwork that was sent over. The new unit treated me like I was family, like a unit should (IMHO).

Thank you all for reading the new update. Things are going very well for me. So well in fact, that an injury I sustained in BCT/AIT 14 years ago is now being reviewed for VA Disability. Tinnitus was approved, just waiting on the others.



UPDATE 11/15

Since so many people have been responding to this 3 year old thread, and not really reading updated comments, here is an official update:

So, when I returned to my old unit, I have medical documentation, and also provided insight on the miscarriage and baby as well. He would’ve been born with Trisomy 13, which also gives a short life span as well, so in my eyes the miscarriage is kind of a blessing. My commander and 1SG were informed of what happened, made copies of my medical documents, and asked what I wanted. I requested to stay in (since I was originally looking at a hardship discharge due to the pregnancy in the first place, since I was no longer pregnancy and physically/mentally stable, I requested to stay in). At this time, I had an actual discharge packet at state for being unsat, and my CO informed me that if she could pull it then she will, but if not then it would go through and I would receive a general discharge. The following Monday I received an email stating that she successfully pulled the packet.

From then on (that is January 2016) until August, I continued to drive 12 hours one way to drill; I had to miss in July due to family reasons, but I’m August I went up early to make up the July drill. When I was an hour away, I called to make sure someone would be there, so I could sleep in the armory. At this time, I was asked if I wanted to do an IST, I said yes. I was also informed that my July drill had been excused (more non communication from my CoC- go figure). That following September, I was drilling with a new unit in my current HOR state. That unit was scheduled to deploy to Cuba the following summer. I wanted to go. However, my transfer wasn’t complete at that time, come to find out, Indiana has discharged me from their records (so Missouri could pick me up), but never sent the paperwork. From July until September 2017, I was in Limbo - not actively drilling because “I didn’t exist” in ANY states records. I called IG, and within 3 weeks I was on the roster to a different unit (the one I was trying to deploy with had already left, so I found another unit). Currently still in said unit, and on good drilling status.

Since I couldn’t go to Cuba in 2017, there was another unit scheduled to deploy May of this year to Kuwait. I wanted to go as well. And my name was actually on the roster to deploy.

Why didn’t I?

I found out I was pregnant in february; and on 11/3 I delivered a healthy, beautiful baby boy. My miracle finally happened! I had a rough beginning of pregnancy, when I was 6 weeks I went to the ER due to severe cramping (thought I was having a miscarriage again); doctor said it was a blighted ovum (Empty sac) because my HCG/PH levels weren’t as high as they should’ve been. So I went home, waiting to pass the fetus. A week went by, and still nothing.

Come to find out, I was a week behind. So instead of being 6 weeks at that time, I was actually 5 weeks. I still have the tumor, and in the spring time everything will be taken out.

And yes, the fibroid has and still is registering me as pregnant, by the measurement guide. When I was pregnant, I started out measuring at 12 weeks; towards the end I was only a week ahead (measuring).

No, I was not receiving pay while I was absent, and the “warrant” for my arrest was a ploy to get me back, which he didn’t have to threaten with and lie about. I would’ve been back to drill that May if they had informed me of my actual status; but honestly, why would I keep in communication with a unit that is discharging me, and telling me I no longer have to show up? In my eyes, I was done. That unit wasn’t my favorite, so I’m not gonna go back and talk to people like they were my teachers from High School, post graduation.

I had a miscarriage last January, and by not healing quick enough my former Readiness NCO told me that I was being discharged (In April). This past December, My "new" squad leader had gotten ahold of me via Facebook and let me know what was going on, if I didn't show up then I was going to be arrested, et cetera.

What I don't understand, is why didn't my platoon sergeant tell me that I was still on the roster when I saw him in August? I have moved two states away since then, and now I have to travel 12+hours to go to drill.

I need help, I don't know what to do, say, et cetera. I'm in the National Guard, and I was told long ago that article 15 can't be given to National Guard soldiers due to just being one weekend a month. Honestly, I'm scared. I waited a long time to get E4, and I don't want to lose it, nor my pay because I'm hurting as it is.

Any questions, just ask. But I really need advice. I plan on showing up for drill, and I don't want to be discharged, but a part of me thinks this is a set up to arrest me, which apparently there is a warrant for my arrest, and I don't know how to look that up either.

Thankyou.
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CSM William Payne
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You need to go straight to the local JAG officer in your chain of command and relay this information right away and seek formal advise and your options.

Too many parameters and unknowns here.

Do this ASAP.
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1px xxx
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Why waste the time? Discharge her ASAP. She doesn’t pass the smell test. Sounds like a lot of trouble
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TSgt Ralph Hetzel
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9814bf97
Sit tight. When you get pulled over, you will find out soon enough if you got outstanding warrants for your arrest.
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Tony Lomas
Tony Lomas
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You...Came out of the closet?
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TSgt Ralph Hetzel
TSgt Ralph Hetzel
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Tony Lomas - closet what? Have no clue what you are saying.
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Tony Lomas
Tony Lomas
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GATORADE.
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Tony Lomas
Tony Lomas
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I'M JUST PISSED OFF SOMEONE MADE THIS MOVIE!... INSTEAD OF PUTTING COLLEGE SPORTS ON MY PHONE!
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SPC Robby Robinson
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Edited 8 y ago
Sorry but something does not pass the smell test. You don't want to lose your pay, yet you claim you thought you were discharged. Seems to me that you would have already been in the mindset of doing without your pay since you claim you were discharged. I am sorry but I must call bullsh1t on your allegation that you thought you were discharged. You knew darn well you were not discharged. Leaving the military isn't like quitting your job at McDonalds. Sounds to me that you want to blame everyone else for your problems. (IE...your readiness NCO felt you weren't healing "quick enough" from your miscarriage and were being discharged as a result ) Women who go through full term birth are able to recover from C-sections within 90 days give or take. Yet you want us to believe you had not recovered in four months from a miscarriage? You thought you were discharged but by your own admission you were receiving pay

Sorry but you do not deserve to maintain your rank. Learn some accountability, dust yourself off, and move forward (if you are allowed to) beginning with E2
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SFC Information Technology Specialist
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SPC Robinson, I don't normally comment on things like this. I believe that all of the positive guidance that was given was what was warranted. I am commenting on your post because I believe that you should be set straight about women and child birth. Child birth, miscarriages and still births affects all women differently. Some women bounce back in a day and some a month and some even longer than that. There are no 2 births that are the same. So, you comment about here not being recovered in 4 months is very flawed. You don't know her mental, physical or emotional state to be able to ask such a bold question. You will learn once you become an NCO to find out all of the facts to the situation before asking questions or making comments such as these.
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SPC Robby Robinson
SPC Robby Robinson
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SFC (Join to see) -
SFC, you are 100% right and I should NOT have spoken without having all the information. Thank you for squaring me away. It is easy to see that you are a solid NCO, correcting a subordinate in a manner that is firm but without malice.
I responded to this young lady incorrectly.
What I see in this soldier's post is one of not being accountable for her own actions (IE..I had a miscarriage last January, and by not healing quick enough my former Readiness NCO told me that I was being discharged) and a contradiction by claiming she thought she was discharged but yet openly admits she needs to keep her pay.
I should have stayed on those points....

Thank you SFC
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
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Robinson,

In case you missed posts that I have replied to, the tumor was registering me as 18 weeks pregnant, when I just hit the 14 week mark. It took longer to break because of the nature of the miscarriage. Two weeks before the miscarriage, the tumor and my baby were "fighting" for survival, meaning the tumor was dying, causing me horrible pain, and I mean HORRIBLE. I felt like a 90 year old lady needing a walker, couldn't stand up straight at all. Excruciating... Wise than a kidney stone. Anyways, the tumor ended up winning, cutting the umbilical cord in half, causing my abrupt miscarriage. The day before the miscarriage I had a Dr's appointment, everything seemed fine, baby's heart rate was good, he even waved to us, seems like. The next morning, we lost him. We know the baby was a boy, because I held him in my hands after I passed him, didn't even fill my hand, and I wear small sized gloves, to give you a measurement.

My doctor didn't want any stress on my body, to let me heal, wrote a recommendation to be excuse from any form of employment until further notice, and that TBA was in April. I went straight to my unit to turn in my release papers, and then the story starts from there. I was not getting paid for drill, I may have worded that incorrectly, but I meant I didn't want to start at square one again with traveling twelve hours... Any more questions, just message me.
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COL Charles Williams
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I think, you should know the rules, and be responsible for following them....
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SSG Jeffrey Monk
SSG Jeffrey Monk
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In the Army no mater if Active, Guard or Reserve we all have had the same UCMJ brief from Ft Jackson to Benning. A Soldier knows that if they don't show up for duty your in the wrong. They have sick call and profile PT in the Guard and Reserve just as we did Active. I feel no sympathy. May be if she was a new Private I could buy this story but not from an E4.
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SSG Brian Lovins
SSG Brian Lovins
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SSG Jeffrey Monk - Please tell me where they have sick call in the guard, in 15 years of guard and reserve time not once have I seen sick call, sick call is you go to your civilian doctor or te ER or you call your unit and tell them and they decide if they want you to show up, and yes I have seen everyone from E-1 through E-8 "call in sick". And no UCMJ does not cover National guard or reserves the way it does Active duty, actually the NG isn't covered at all unless they are activated under federal orders, NG are covered by their own states version and ONLY on a drilling status..
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SSG Jeffrey Monk
SSG Jeffrey Monk
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You are on drill status that one week a month that you show up and are covered by the unit when the unit PA signs off on it. We had it while I was with 377th MI out of Orlando.
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GySgt Carl Rumbolo
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While I sympathize with your loss, I am incredulous at your statement 'unknowingly being AWOL'. You are (or where) an E4 in the United States Army (reserve or active duty is irrelevant) and you didn't know that you have a duty to report, or at the very least communicate with your command. On top of that you moved 2 states away - did you contact your unit about your move, provide them with contact information, new address, etc?

While your command certainly appears to have dropped the ball from a leadership perspective, you are wholly responsible for your own actions. You are apparently more concerned about the financial aspects - your E4 pay, rather than actually being concerned about your military responsibilities.

BTW - nice use of emotional plea ('I had a miscarriage') to distract from the actual issues of personal responsibility. Yes a miscarriage is an emotionally devastating event, however it is not an excuse to neglect responsibilities - there are processes in place to help deal with issues. In the civilian world if you suffered an illness or emotionally devastating event, and moved 2 states away, and didn't notify your employer, follow the appropriate HR procedures....well you would lose your job.
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GySgt Carl Rumbolo
GySgt Carl Rumbolo
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SGT (Join to see) - Concur - this is a classic 'victim' ploy - the very first line is a plea for sympathy based on an event that is bound to trigger an emotional response. It distracts immediately from the actual issue which is failure of personal responsibility on the part of the 'victim'.
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SSG Jeffrey Monk
SSG Jeffrey Monk
8 y
Yep and that's why females do not belong in the infantry. I got so sick of hearing about cramps and not being able to do road marches and other BS. I was so glad to get my staff time over with and back to the line.
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CPT Army Reserve Unit Administrator
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Hey Gunny! Aren't you the Gunny aren't you on that USAA commercial?! (And I agree with your comments)
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GySgt Carl Rumbolo
GySgt Carl Rumbolo
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CPT (Join to see) - No I am not that individual. I retired from the Corps in 1996.
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LCpl Tad Cunningham
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Sounds to me like you were going through shit, said fuck it I'm not going, and assumed nothing would happen. It sounds like you're trying to find a scapegoat so as to push the blame rather than taking your licks for not showing up for your job for a year. No remorse is felt for your situation, as you put yourself into your current position by not being a responsible adult.
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Sgt James S.
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If you were discharged, you would have known it, because you would have received the paperwork. Until then, you are still in. So, sounds like you went UA and then compounded it by dropping out of contact with your unit and moving away. Not much room for sympathy here. Go plead for mercy before it gets worse and square yourself away for the future.
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SGT Randy Grimm
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I don't believe your story.

You say you didn't know you were still in and that you can't afford to lose the pay?

I know you must have been having a hard time with your medical problems but that is no excuse to shirk your responsibilities.

You sound like a dirtbag that I wouldn't want beside me in a foxhole.
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1SG Civil Affairs Specialist
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More like key parts of the story were left out. Some of that is understandable, but she left in the most personal piece about the miscarriage.
The part that gets me is that while she moved and that MAY have complicated delivery of official mail (as if the USPS does not forward mail... I know it is 2016, but are people really this oblivious?), but snail mail is one of the last ways the unit would communicate with her. Her phone number may have changed, but the unit's didn't. Her (and their) email address didn't change either.
Anybody that has been in the Army for a bit knows that you always have a PACE plan to communicate. So here goes:
P- Home Phone number
A- Email
C- Snail Mail
E- Personal Cell Phone

And bonus communication possibilities:
1. Go physically find her. She didn't move overnight.
2. Her DD 93 has contact information for next of kin. I'll bet her mom knows where she is at.
3. She has no friends in the unit she talks to? Try there.
4. Social media. Not my favorite choice, but you'd be amazed how many sob stories about why a Soldier can't do their duty fall apart when their concert photos get posted on facebook. No matter how much life sucks, few in the current generation can stand being unplugged for more than a few days.

My bottom line is that if I really couldn't find one of my Soldiers after normal attempts though the PACE plan above, my concern wouldn't be that the Soldier is a dirtbag, it would be for her personal safety. If I thought one of my troops was in danger, I would turn the world upside down to find her and bring her back to the fold.
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
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1SG (Join to see) - my mom died in 2013. Which is why I moved away from missouri in the first place and reenlisted....

But even if that didn't happen, why assume everyone has a mother?
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1SG Civil Affairs Specialist
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers - Understood, and sorry for your loss, but the point is that a DD93 MUST have contact information for primary next of kin in the event of your death or incapacitation, reviewed at least annually. With that tool, your unit should have been able to find you even if other methods have failed or life got in the way.

Look Delcina, I understand that life has thrown you a bad break. My life has had some low spots of late too where I just wanted to disappear and ignore attempts to find me. Lucky for me, my kids helped keep my wings level long enough to get through the worst of it.
You are not a pariah, and I'll bet you are not a ragbag. Please get in touch with your unit and make things right. Inaction on your part now, even if you wind up being done with the Army, will bring permanent consequences. I implore you to do the right thing and get in communication with them and work out a way forward.

-edited amendment-
After reading some of your comments above, it looks as though you've returned to duty. GOOD FOR YOU. I hope that your unit gets it's crap together and helps find you a new military home closer to your residence. I am proud of you for taking this step and doing the right thing.
I do have a suggestion though. Many of the respondents to your OP and in the comments did not know the whole story or what has happened since... perhaps we still don't. I would suggest adding an update to your original post and try to refrain from firing back at some of the more... passionate responses on here. The internet is the wild west sometimes. As a currently serving member who doesn't necessarily have this fully resolved with your unit yet, I suggest applying a filter to your comments and need to fire back.
If you find yourself in Minnesota, feel free to contact me if you want to serve in a unit that gives a damn about their Soldiers.
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
8 y
My step dad (dad, bc my bio is a real tool), has had the same phone number for 20 uears, and address mind you. They had information on how to get a hold of me... my husband would call me a Facebook junkie, and i have people in my unit on there... they never once tried to contact me. My fault for not doing it either. I was already trying to get a hardship discharge bc of my pregnancy and being high risk, even with a doctors note they still wanted me to do PT, ride in a humble and stand for hours on end, completely disobeying Army regulations and long term profile. All my gear was turned in already, and i was already counseled by my commander. When i was told that i was being discharged, i thought it was for that reason. So i really didn'tthink anything of it. During my 4 month "hiatus" i was keeping in contact with my team leader, unbeknownst to me he wasn't passing information along. I would have jumped rank and my COC to let them know. My paperwork I had given him was most likely thrown away. Luckily for me, I had an extra and turned it in when I spoke with my commander in January.

Yes, I am still attending. I hate the drive, let me tell you. My civilian job is wonderful in working with me, sadly I've had to contact HR to get them to let me off on Thursdays (I worked 3rd) so I can have 8 hours rest+travel time. So my pay there is wonderful. Luckily for me, it only costs me about 100 round trip, and we stay with my father in law during the weekend. But I'm trying to find a unit closer to home, mainly because my current unit doesn't deploy, and i want to. The one I'm trying to go to has one coming up next year, and I've been in that unit before. They treated me like a family member instead of a number.

But if I do end up in MN (highly doubtful, i moved away from the cold) I will definitely look you up. You seem like a wonderful 1sg. Maybe our paths will cross one day. Thank you, top.
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CPT Assistant Operations Officer (S3)
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I think you have enough info about the UCMJ now. But you need to contact your state and do a IST, or InterState Transfer. They are common among the National Guard. You have the ability to change your state when you move. You shouldn't have to drive 12 hours for drill. That defeats the purpose of the Guard. I would contact your state, via your RNCO, and try to get caught up. Once you get that fixed you should be get an IST.

I will say that you are in a bad place. Unless you have paper work saying the type of personnel action is taking place then you don't have proof. Some guy telling you something won't stand up. It does happen.
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CPT Assistant Operations Officer (S3)
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SFC (Join to see) - I think if she tries to reach out and make every attempt to remedy this they will met her half way.
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SFC Management
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CPT (Join to see) I believe so also.
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SSG Pmo Ops Sgt
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The problem is to get an interstate transfer you usually need a clean record because no one to take someone else's problems. Not showing up to drill for a year no matter the reason will almost guarantee that your interstate transfer will be denied by the receiving state.
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
7 y
SSG Campbell,
I am now drilling in my home state, at my new unit.
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WO1 Ierw Student
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I don't know why people keep calling you SPC (P) you shouldn't have your P status at all
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PO1 Deputy Sheriff
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Right? What a joke. I hope she does get arrested
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
8 y
PO1 (Join to see) - well, I didnt.
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PO1 Deputy Sheriff
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers - That's too bad, might have taught you a valuable lesson. How are you afraid to lose pay? If you've been getting paid for drill and not going to drill I hate to tell you this, but you're about to owe uncle sam some cash. That's just common sense. Oh and if you don't pay? Bye bye tax return. For however long it takes to pay all of the money back that you fraudulently obtained (If that's the case.)
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SPC(P) Delcina Myers
SPC(P) Delcina Myers
8 y
PO1 (Join to see) - No, I wasn'tpaid while I was gone. I meant that ewiththe pay Specialists earn with 10 years TIS, it would literally suck to lose the pay, because I have to travel so far. Where II'mliving at now, I don't pay rent: i own my home. My civilian career pays well, but when I have to take off work to travel and such, I lose money. Granted, iget good gas mileage and Iidrive an SUV, but these gas prices Iin the Midwest won't last long. That's what I meant.
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