Posted on Aug 13, 2024
Depression during transition: Did you experience depression and/or anxiety after you got out? How did you manage it?
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Full transparency here since we're in the "trust tree." Depression for me runs deep but it was always something that felt the in background. I didn't disclose it when I enlisted mostly because I didn't think it was a problem. Whenever I was training or deployed I was actually the happiest and I never had any problems. I get out of the Army I then experienced the worst year of my life. Sometimes I wouldn't get out of bed until 3pm. I didn't want to do anything and I was having serious problems concentrating. Then I started having what I later learned were panic attacks. I felt like my mind was scattered and on overdrive. It was scary because my mind wouldn't be thinking rationally and I honestly wasn't sure what I was capable of doing in that state. My heart would be racing like it was beating throughout my whole body. My breathing was so bad I'd be hyperventilating just to get some air and then it would suddenly go away and I'd feel a calm come over me but I couldn't move. I couldn't speak or anything for about ten minutes. The only thing that has helped is medication which I hate but it's better than the alternative.
Does anyone else go through the same thing and what helps you manage it? The feeling really sucks.
Does anyone else go through the same thing and what helps you manage it? The feeling really sucks.
Depression
Mental Health
Transition
Posted 4 mo ago
Responses: 26
First, you are absolutely not alone in your feelings and experiences. Many veterans develop post-separation anxiety/depression when leaving the military with the impacts ranging from mild to severe.
I would HIGHLY advise you to look at the VA's resource, 'MakeTheConnection'*. The site is a gateway into thousands of Veterans sharing their stories through video interviews, articles and podcast episodes. You can filter the content by symptoms, conditions, life events and combat experience, service era, and more to find stories relatable to you.
Have you explored establishing/expanding your ties back to the military community?
I'm not sure what resources the other Services provide, but the Army has been focusing on the "Soldier For Life"* resources heavily for a number of years now, and many of those resources are geared towards keeping those retired Soldiers connected to the military community. While it is tailored towards the Army, much of the information contained in the "Retired Soldier Handbook"* is applicable to the other Services as well.
Some of the other 'military community' venues you may want to explore (outside of online/Social Media like RallyPoint that is):
• Most installations (at least Army installations) have Retiree councils that represent the local community of retirees (for example, the Fort Belvoir Retiree Council which is near me meets six times a year)
• The VA runs Vet Centers* across the country which community-based counseling centers that provide a wide range of social and psychological services, including professional counseling to eligible veterans at cost and in a non-medical setting (great overview video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMzkZNbKk1I)
• Exploring the Veteran Service Organizations local to you (DAV, American Legion, VFW, etc). Truthfully, this will be hit-or-miss and depend greatly on what they offer, what you are looking for, and how you fit if there's a match.
Again, I'd start with the MakeTheConnection site so you can see many other veterans that have much of the same experience with you and how they have handled it. If you are ok with in-person interactions, then find the Vet Center close to you and explore the support groups and programs they provide.
And of course, RallyPoint is here and many vets will engage and share their experiences as well.
Good Luck!
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* MakeTheConnection - https://www.maketheconnection.net/
* Soldier For Life - https://soldierforlife.army.mil/Retirement/post-retirement
* Retired Soldier Handbook - https://soldierforlife.army.mil/Documents/static/Post/Retired_Soldier_Handbook.pdf
* Search for a Vet Center by zip/city/state - https://www.va.gov/find-locations/?facilityType=vet_center
I would HIGHLY advise you to look at the VA's resource, 'MakeTheConnection'*. The site is a gateway into thousands of Veterans sharing their stories through video interviews, articles and podcast episodes. You can filter the content by symptoms, conditions, life events and combat experience, service era, and more to find stories relatable to you.
Have you explored establishing/expanding your ties back to the military community?
I'm not sure what resources the other Services provide, but the Army has been focusing on the "Soldier For Life"* resources heavily for a number of years now, and many of those resources are geared towards keeping those retired Soldiers connected to the military community. While it is tailored towards the Army, much of the information contained in the "Retired Soldier Handbook"* is applicable to the other Services as well.
Some of the other 'military community' venues you may want to explore (outside of online/Social Media like RallyPoint that is):
• Most installations (at least Army installations) have Retiree councils that represent the local community of retirees (for example, the Fort Belvoir Retiree Council which is near me meets six times a year)
• The VA runs Vet Centers* across the country which community-based counseling centers that provide a wide range of social and psychological services, including professional counseling to eligible veterans at cost and in a non-medical setting (great overview video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMzkZNbKk1I)
• Exploring the Veteran Service Organizations local to you (DAV, American Legion, VFW, etc). Truthfully, this will be hit-or-miss and depend greatly on what they offer, what you are looking for, and how you fit if there's a match.
Again, I'd start with the MakeTheConnection site so you can see many other veterans that have much of the same experience with you and how they have handled it. If you are ok with in-person interactions, then find the Vet Center close to you and explore the support groups and programs they provide.
And of course, RallyPoint is here and many vets will engage and share their experiences as well.
Good Luck!
--------------------------------------
* MakeTheConnection - https://www.maketheconnection.net/
* Soldier For Life - https://soldierforlife.army.mil/Retirement/post-retirement
* Retired Soldier Handbook - https://soldierforlife.army.mil/Documents/static/Post/Retired_Soldier_Handbook.pdf
* Search for a Vet Center by zip/city/state - https://www.va.gov/find-locations/?facilityType=vet_center
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MAJ Byron Oyler
One of the areas that I have found both in my personal and professional life is, is it really depression in a mental health sense or something else in your body? Is it lack of energy from poor sleep, diet, or vitamin D? I do not have depression from mental health issues when I wake early in the morning not wanting to go to work, I have lack of energy and so many are addicted to caffeine. I get up, consume 80mg of caffeine and I am ready to take on what all my come into my emergency room. I dont encourage people to live on caffeine and it can be dangerous but everyone feeling down should look at their caffeine consumption. Is it a lot and the day you feel blue because you did not get your daily dose? Some of these issues could be days starting on active duty with a cup of joe and once out were out of the military you stopped that daily cup of joe. Another issue is vitamin D. It is produced by the skin exposed to sunlight. So if you were already not getting enough sun and felt blue, stayed inside, well you just made matters worse. Ask your provider for blood work to test for vitamin D. If I miss more than a couple daily doses, I really feel it. Low vitamin D can make a big difference in how you feel and in cold, dark areas it is called seasonal affective disorder. Big issue up in Alaska.
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SGT Jim Giffin
The best thing I did was to join a local Volunteer Fire Dept. The Brotherhood in the department is very similar to the military. We have our "Battle Buddies" that we ride with a lot. We feed off each other in the Battle (Fireground) We also have a means to release the built up frustration we encounter by doing frequent debriefs after bad calls. Depression is real, PTSD is real, anxiety is real. We just work through these things together.
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Yes, especially after retirement- no group bond, no one watching my 6. Had to wake up every day and force myself to believe I would manage it
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SGM Mikel Dawson
II missed it after I retired, especially being here in Denmark where I am basically alone. I do find the occasional Danish vet to talk to once in a while, but the internet has been my connection now. Yes I miss the physically seeing, being around a group, having a beer, all of it. I just learn how to deal with it and drive on.
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MSgt Grant Davison
I know how you feel. I had a hard time transitioning into the new civilian workforce. I retired in 2010. The last civi job I had was in 1983. Times have changed, work ethics have changed, or maybe it was just me that changed. But it was hard and no amount of TAPS training prior to leaving the military could prepare anyone for that transition.
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SMSgt Lloyd Knopp
I never took any medication or went to a therapist. However, it wasn't easy. I understand the shock from a high pressure military to a sudden transition to civilian.
I retired in 1987, after 26 years of continuous active duty. At first I had a hard time getting out of bed. I would just lay around or in bed and read books, so I didn't have to think about anything relevant, at the time. After inquiring into a few jobs I got even more depressed. I was informed I would start at the bottom of the pay scale, and work my way up like everybody else. Nobody seemed to care about my mechanical skills or managerial experience. After awhile I decided to go to school, so enrolled in an aircraft maintenance program at the local community college. It so happened that two of the instructors were Air Force veterans from the Korean War era. They helped me get my feet under me again. My second year I started teaching part time in the welding program while I finished AMT. I then went full time teaching aircraft electrical for a few years and welding for several years.
After acquiring an AMT Certificate I started OJT under my brother to learn electronic equipment service and maintenance. When he sold his business I started my own Office Equipment and Cartridge recycling business, and retired from that in 2007. I now keep busy taking care of my wife's horses, cows, chickens and dogs. Between farm equipment repair, fence mending, irrigation and farm work in general, I don't have a lot of free time to worry about me.
I retired in 1987, after 26 years of continuous active duty. At first I had a hard time getting out of bed. I would just lay around or in bed and read books, so I didn't have to think about anything relevant, at the time. After inquiring into a few jobs I got even more depressed. I was informed I would start at the bottom of the pay scale, and work my way up like everybody else. Nobody seemed to care about my mechanical skills or managerial experience. After awhile I decided to go to school, so enrolled in an aircraft maintenance program at the local community college. It so happened that two of the instructors were Air Force veterans from the Korean War era. They helped me get my feet under me again. My second year I started teaching part time in the welding program while I finished AMT. I then went full time teaching aircraft electrical for a few years and welding for several years.
After acquiring an AMT Certificate I started OJT under my brother to learn electronic equipment service and maintenance. When he sold his business I started my own Office Equipment and Cartridge recycling business, and retired from that in 2007. I now keep busy taking care of my wife's horses, cows, chickens and dogs. Between farm equipment repair, fence mending, irrigation and farm work in general, I don't have a lot of free time to worry about me.
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I had similar concerns when I was halfway thru my Iraq deployment. Then, the anxiety and chest pains continued for a good long spell after I returned home. Luckily, my situation did not warrant medication.
What worked/is working for me is writing, video games, continued service in the Reserves, and working for the VA. And therapy thru the Veterans Center. Oh, and LEGOs (when my wife lets me get them)
What I am writing, well, it's a book of sorts. Kind of of an autobiography that I am not sure if I'll ever get it published. But, it encompasses the basic concept of journal writing. Helps with perspective on things. How I started it was I started the narrative at Basic Training. I do jump around in life, from early years to current, all the while keeping the flow going.
As for video games, I do play multiple kinds, however my primary games are 1st person games. Starfield, AC games, Fallout, etc. I do enjoy word scramble games as well. Keeps me focused.
I still serve in the Reserves. I have about 3 years until I retire.
Working for the VA is great for me. Growing up, I listened to all kinds of stories from Vets that served before me. I loved those stories; part of what made me want to join. Every day, I get to meet and greet Vets from all generations (going back as far as WW2), and speak with them.
As for therapy, I have a therapist that works for the Veterans Center. He is a retired Army Psychologist. Great dude. Good listener and soundboard.
What worked/is working for me is writing, video games, continued service in the Reserves, and working for the VA. And therapy thru the Veterans Center. Oh, and LEGOs (when my wife lets me get them)
What I am writing, well, it's a book of sorts. Kind of of an autobiography that I am not sure if I'll ever get it published. But, it encompasses the basic concept of journal writing. Helps with perspective on things. How I started it was I started the narrative at Basic Training. I do jump around in life, from early years to current, all the while keeping the flow going.
As for video games, I do play multiple kinds, however my primary games are 1st person games. Starfield, AC games, Fallout, etc. I do enjoy word scramble games as well. Keeps me focused.
I still serve in the Reserves. I have about 3 years until I retire.
Working for the VA is great for me. Growing up, I listened to all kinds of stories from Vets that served before me. I loved those stories; part of what made me want to join. Every day, I get to meet and greet Vets from all generations (going back as far as WW2), and speak with them.
As for therapy, I have a therapist that works for the Veterans Center. He is a retired Army Psychologist. Great dude. Good listener and soundboard.
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(Join to see)
Thank you. The frustrating thing is I used to love reading and writing but it's really difficult for me now because I can't concentrate enough to process what I'm reading. Sometimes I have to read a page 2 or 3 times and even then it doesn't stick. I've almost had to stop reading entirely for this reason and it makes me so pissed off.
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MSG (Join to see)
(Join to see) - Baby steps. Get back into reading, only see if you can find smaller/shorter books. Poetry. TS Eliot. D.H Lawrence.
My personal favorite from Lawrence (I first heard in the movie GI Jane) is:
"Self-Pity
I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself."
I think of this poem every now and then when I start to feel low. Gets me to see perspective.
My personal favorite from Lawrence (I first heard in the movie GI Jane) is:
"Self-Pity
I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself."
I think of this poem every now and then when I start to feel low. Gets me to see perspective.
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CW3 Debra Irby
(Join to see) - I was the same way, And I love to read. It will come back. Just remember to give yourself a break. Coming back to the real world where no one seems to care is difficult after deploying.
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