Did self-doubt of your own abilities hold you back in the military?

One of my favorite authors, Frederick Marryat, helped me understand the source of my own fears and self-doubt so that I could overcome them. Marryat was a contemporary of Charles Dickens. He went to sea as a midshipman in the British Navy and served with Lord Cochran, England's most famous fighting frigate captain, the one who served as a model for Hornblower and Jack Aubrey, fictional naval heroes. Marryat rose to captain his own frigate in that age of iron men on wooden ships and fought in some 52 naval engagements, standing on an open deck in full view of sharpshooters firing from the tall rigging of enemy ships. Thus, when he retired to write his own series of naval adventures, you could smell the gunsmoke and blood on the pages of his books. In one book, his hero, a captain, discusses a young midshipman who appears to be somewhat "shy". In those days, "shy" was synonymous with cowardice. Marryat went on to observe that shyness seemed to be a sign of intelligence and imagination, and that such qualities helped the man overcome his shyness once exposed to the horrors of battle which could never be as bad as anything they imagined. I trusted that Marryat knew whereof he spoke.

I did. People didn't believe I could be a Marine so I carried that chip on my shoulder. Sometimes I've felt I wasn't good enough for the Marine Corps. I used to believe my Drill Instructors were just a phone call away ready and waiting to rip my rank off my collar and kick me out for not being good enough. It might have held me back a little. Maybe I didn't take as many risks. The way that I overcame it was by watching the NCOs around me. I was picking and choosing which NCOs I wanted to emulate and which ones I wanted to avoid. Every year I tried to progress a little bit more so that I never stagnated, I was always improving. That way when I pinned on my NCO rank, I could be the NCO that my Junior Marines could emulate.

Interesting question CPT Aaron Kletzing. I don't think I ever thought of it that way- I always felt my upbringing which was just a kid from Iowa and the way I viewed myself limited me to where I thought I belonged. I will keep this short- the bottom line was being a single parent, putting myself through college working full time, and achieving success in my studies turned a lot around for me. I grew confidence that I could do more- always have your doubters, but usually those are people that wished they could do what you were doing. I quit my full time reserve technician gig after 16 years and moved home. You can see in my profile what I did and when. End of the story- a 27 year crusty MSGT earned a commission because of hard work and dedication and have my 3rd different career while serving. Advice to others- work hard, do what you are good at, and always be ready for the next step. You are your own limitation.