Posted on Jul 12, 2023
Is it standard or even typical as a form of disciplinary action for an NCO to call a soldier's parents to complain about the service member?
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Hello Rallypoint Members!
I have a question regarding disciplinary actions that I have received from my detachment SFC. So I got myself into some trouble with an MP (argued with an MP after having a few beers), not gonna go into great detail (I own the mistakes that I made) but I am confused about one thing that my detachment sergeant has done regarding my disciplinary actions. The day after my altercation with the MP’s, my detachment SFC called me into her office, she informed me about what reprimands I could be facing (which I expected) but she also made me write down my mother and father’s phone numbers and she actually called them to tell them how much of a dirt bag I had been (which I did not expect). I am a grown man and can face the legal and moral repercussions of my own actions but was taken aback to find out that my NCO had called my family to inform them of the mistakes that I had made. Is this standard procedure in the military or even a typical form of disciplinary action for an NCO to make?
Any and all input is appreciated!
Thanks!
I have a question regarding disciplinary actions that I have received from my detachment SFC. So I got myself into some trouble with an MP (argued with an MP after having a few beers), not gonna go into great detail (I own the mistakes that I made) but I am confused about one thing that my detachment sergeant has done regarding my disciplinary actions. The day after my altercation with the MP’s, my detachment SFC called me into her office, she informed me about what reprimands I could be facing (which I expected) but she also made me write down my mother and father’s phone numbers and she actually called them to tell them how much of a dirt bag I had been (which I did not expect). I am a grown man and can face the legal and moral repercussions of my own actions but was taken aback to find out that my NCO had called my family to inform them of the mistakes that I had made. Is this standard procedure in the military or even a typical form of disciplinary action for an NCO to make?
Any and all input is appreciated!
Thanks!
UCMJ
Paralegal NCO
1SG
SFC
JAG
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 217
Suspended Profile
Not when I was in. It was established super early on, like in basic training, that we were all adults . I think calling a person's parents to berate a troop, is very passive aggressive and backhanded, if not cowardly. Say what you need to say to me , to my face , and we take it from there, like grown adults . I would have lost stripes , if someone went behind my back , and messed with my family back home . There are some lines you don't cross . It's basic respect .
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Sounds like you have a shitbag for a detachment NCO and sounds like the military has sunk to a much lower depth than I even imagined it could have. Not only do you have a case to have any disciplinary action removed, but you might even have a case to have that NCO relieved for cause. Sounds like they are about 2-3 ranks above what they should be.
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Going by my experience of 1967-1987, This is totally unnecessarty and PC practice. If i is the current policy, then the Army of today is completely running wild. How can we expect to recruit new soldiers if we call mommy and daddy every time the solder does something wrong. Isn't that what Article 15 is supposed be for?
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The NCO did not need to call his parents. An issue regarding the MPs could be handled at the 1sgt level. Extra duty works wonders. You don't want to worry the parents about a fight with the MPs.
Think back 20, 30, or 40 years ago when you were a private at your first duty station. Were you an angel? If not, would you want your parents called every time you messed up?
Think back 20, 30, or 40 years ago when you were a private at your first duty station. Were you an angel? If not, would you want your parents called every time you messed up?
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mothers always stick together. The only way out is to change your sex and get a stress card!
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During my time of service, 90-95, I knew a few senior sergeants that would get a soldier to volunteer family contact information when a soldier got into trouble. Some did so th try and aid said soldier, more often the others took percers pleasure in calling parents to not just demean the soldier, also the ridicule the parents and make them feel less than. The later type of NCO/senior Sergeant would often go around bragging to their equals as another way to ridicule and punish the soldier in question. This type of "leadership" only serves to demoralize, through school yard bully mentality, that sadly is difficult if not impossible to ever live down, and for some, seems to follow them through their change of commands. This is a bigger part of soldiers opting to only do one tour, and get out, costing all branches otherwise good troops that could have done more with better support.
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Nonsense! Maybe, just maybe, if they are 17. Other than that, they are adults and deserve to be treated as such, and calling mommy or daddy is NOT suitable in my book! Sheesh!
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