Posted on Jul 12, 2023
Is it standard or even typical as a form of disciplinary action for an NCO to call a soldier's parents to complain about the service member?
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Hello Rallypoint Members!
I have a question regarding disciplinary actions that I have received from my detachment SFC. So I got myself into some trouble with an MP (argued with an MP after having a few beers), not gonna go into great detail (I own the mistakes that I made) but I am confused about one thing that my detachment sergeant has done regarding my disciplinary actions. The day after my altercation with the MP’s, my detachment SFC called me into her office, she informed me about what reprimands I could be facing (which I expected) but she also made me write down my mother and father’s phone numbers and she actually called them to tell them how much of a dirt bag I had been (which I did not expect). I am a grown man and can face the legal and moral repercussions of my own actions but was taken aback to find out that my NCO had called my family to inform them of the mistakes that I had made. Is this standard procedure in the military or even a typical form of disciplinary action for an NCO to make?
Any and all input is appreciated!
Thanks!
I have a question regarding disciplinary actions that I have received from my detachment SFC. So I got myself into some trouble with an MP (argued with an MP after having a few beers), not gonna go into great detail (I own the mistakes that I made) but I am confused about one thing that my detachment sergeant has done regarding my disciplinary actions. The day after my altercation with the MP’s, my detachment SFC called me into her office, she informed me about what reprimands I could be facing (which I expected) but she also made me write down my mother and father’s phone numbers and she actually called them to tell them how much of a dirt bag I had been (which I did not expect). I am a grown man and can face the legal and moral repercussions of my own actions but was taken aback to find out that my NCO had called my family to inform them of the mistakes that I had made. Is this standard procedure in the military or even a typical form of disciplinary action for an NCO to make?
Any and all input is appreciated!
Thanks!
UCMJ
Paralegal NCO
1SG
SFC
JAG
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 217
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This is how it was in the Old School Army in effort to save a Soldier. A Squad Leader was a troopers big Brother and the SFC was referred to as The Platoon Daddy. We knew our Soldiers like our brothers, what they did during their off time and who they hung out with. This SFC probably thought by reaching out to the Soldiers primary influences, she could help that Soldier get back on track and save their career. It's called Leadership.
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That is hilarious
Called your parents and told them what you did.
This has to be a joke?
The US Military can not be doing this?
Really?
Well then
This would have been entirely different outcome in my period of service.
Arguing with a MP would of been off to the brig.
Which could be a very interesting vacation
Your SFC called you into office to talk to you? There would have been words expressed at me in a very loud voice with maybe the SFC up in my face.
If this is the way your SFC handled your I’ll advised discussion with the MP you are lucky the SFC didn’t put you over their knee and give you a good ole spanking
You may want to rethink your statement your a grown man you have done growing to do in the brain housing group
Called your parents and told them what you did.
This has to be a joke?
The US Military can not be doing this?
Really?
Well then
This would have been entirely different outcome in my period of service.
Arguing with a MP would of been off to the brig.
Which could be a very interesting vacation
Your SFC called you into office to talk to you? There would have been words expressed at me in a very loud voice with maybe the SFC up in my face.
If this is the way your SFC handled your I’ll advised discussion with the MP you are lucky the SFC didn’t put you over their knee and give you a good ole spanking
You may want to rethink your statement your a grown man you have done growing to do in the brain housing group
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Hell, NO, whoever a soldier is, he/she is the responsible party. This is not Mr. Rogers land!
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Very strange. Once a young person enters active training for the services then they should be treated as adults who are responsible for their own actions. That particular NCO needs further training to be educated into service requirements and appropriate actions regarding trainee behavior and knowledge.
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I would have loved for my first line to call my Mother she would have chewed him out the way every other Sr. Leader replying to this would have. I would have gotten a ear full from my mom later but I know she would have recognized the immaturity of this leader and would have probably made his life worse by letting everyone in the command know of his bullshittery.
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This is not normal from my experience, but I do understand your SFC's motivations. I would not have done it, especially since there are pretty clear instructions regarding what needs to happen per given criteria. I don't think it was good idea to call your parents, Geesh, she must have some free time to do that, but I don't think you could sue her for it either. Good luck with your journey, Collin.
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That is not acceptable and in my opinion weak leadership. Each Command team has to use what they can to straighten out and help soldiers grow and learn. I certainly called many parents but they were all for one of two issues. The best were to call them and inform them of Promotions and awards. And made every effort to meet them if they were able to come to the ceremony. The worst was to inform or console after tragic events involving their sons or daughters. A terrible task for any leader but it must be done.
For me those the most important reasons to call the parents...
For me those the most important reasons to call the parents...
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Truly unprofessional. It's not a leaders responsibility to involve a soldiers parent's in his or hers legal or
private matters. She has a chip on her shoulder. I would go up the chain of command and make her apologize to you and your parents. I was an Infantryman and spent 11 years in 10th Group on a few teams. I never involved parents in a soldiers personnel life. As a leader it was my responsibility to help a soldier correct his bad conduct and develop him into a professional. If I had to rat on a soldier to his parents, that would mean I failed as a leader in so many ways. Good luck and stay safe!
private matters. She has a chip on her shoulder. I would go up the chain of command and make her apologize to you and your parents. I was an Infantryman and spent 11 years in 10th Group on a few teams. I never involved parents in a soldiers personnel life. As a leader it was my responsibility to help a soldier correct his bad conduct and develop him into a professional. If I had to rat on a soldier to his parents, that would mean I failed as a leader in so many ways. Good luck and stay safe!
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Gotta disagree here. The poster is a grown adult. I do not see what calling mommy and telling her what a dirtbag the SM is is going to accomplish. It is about as confusing as a zebra meeting a referee.
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