Posted on Nov 7, 2014
Disrespected while correcting a Soldier, how would you handle this situation?
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Ok so there I was at a court-martial asking a Soldier why he was wearing ACUs and not ASUs. He started to catch an attitude, so I told him to go to parade rest. He turned away from me looking at my paralegal, putting his hands in his pockets.
My paralegal tells him that he does not need to be looking at him, but at me, because I was the one addressing him, and that he needs to show respect. As the Soldier continues to stare out at my paralegal with his hands in his pockets, I continue to correct him when a civilian comes out to where I was correcting the Soldier stating that she had work to do and I could "yell" at him some other time.
I was so mind boggled and dumbfounded because said civilian used to be in the military. I'm sorry, but the last time I checked the Soldier was given a direct order by a CPT and myself that the duty uniform for the court-martial was ASUs and an alternate uniform had to be approved by the judge, so I was doing my job by asking him why he was in the wrong uniform and then correcting him when he began to disrespect me.
I felt so disrespected I just walked away and sat in a room to cool off.
How would you have handled the situation?
My paralegal tells him that he does not need to be looking at him, but at me, because I was the one addressing him, and that he needs to show respect. As the Soldier continues to stare out at my paralegal with his hands in his pockets, I continue to correct him when a civilian comes out to where I was correcting the Soldier stating that she had work to do and I could "yell" at him some other time.
I was so mind boggled and dumbfounded because said civilian used to be in the military. I'm sorry, but the last time I checked the Soldier was given a direct order by a CPT and myself that the duty uniform for the court-martial was ASUs and an alternate uniform had to be approved by the judge, so I was doing my job by asking him why he was in the wrong uniform and then correcting him when he began to disrespect me.
I felt so disrespected I just walked away and sat in a room to cool off.
How would you have handled the situation?
Disrespect
Civilians
Counseling
Edited 11 y ago
Posted 11 y ago
Responses: 380
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LTJG Don Biscoe
That might be a little different; I don't mean about the disrespect, that's never OK. But in life (military and corporate) I always counseled personnel before heading to serious charges or termination. But I've worked for those who think nearly every issue is CM (or termination) level no matter the infraction (haircut, late for duty, uniform not squared away on occasion). Actually, it's my opinion that taking drastic action for minor issues shows a failure in leadership, not the other way around. Thank you for your service Col!
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SGT Jason Ellenburg
In all seriousness, I would wait until after the courts-martial ended and then give him a couple of hours of remedial physical counseling. Teach him that respect for leadership was far better than having some NCO find new and interesting ways to lead you to muscle failure in several major groups.
Then, I'd refer him to his NCO chain for further "educational disciplinary encouragement."
Then, I'd refer him to his NCO chain for further "educational disciplinary encouragement."
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Not knowing why the individual was being disciplined I can offer only this, put yourself in his/her shoes and try to discern how You would want to be treated. Obviously there was a problem. What Caused the problem that said individual committed the act. Trouble at home, substance abuse, financial issues, and the list goes on. Did anybody show any concern as to Why the individual did what they did? The military spends a lot of money in training each service member, and it seems appropriate to maintain the assets that each member possesses. Sure, at some point disciplinary measures need to be taken, but don't forget you're not dealing with an inanimate object that's broken a part. At Some point, that person was wanted. Find out what the problem(s) might be, assist in rectifying those problems, and then do whatever else needs to be done -up to and including discharge. Don't misunderstand, I am Not suggesting bad behavior be condoned. I'm saying, treat your service members with the same respect you'd desire and I think you'll find compliance will improve.
You can command respect, or you can demand respect. Those who command respect Always make better leaders. And, if you don't understand the difference, then God help those you lead.
By the way: I was discharge as an E-1, honorably, RE1A ...I simply lacked the filter to stop myself from informing morons that they were morons, Not because I was incapable of performing my duties.
USMC 1983-01-26 to 1987-01-23
Fox 2/9
Alpha 1/5
MP/CID
You can command respect, or you can demand respect. Those who command respect Always make better leaders. And, if you don't understand the difference, then God help those you lead.
By the way: I was discharge as an E-1, honorably, RE1A ...I simply lacked the filter to stop myself from informing morons that they were morons, Not because I was incapable of performing my duties.
USMC 1983-01-26 to 1987-01-23
Fox 2/9
Alpha 1/5
MP/CID
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Yeah, since the guy is at a court martial, what a shame that he some how feels that some or all are against him and so gives you less respect than you thought you deserved. But that you walked away when triggered, gosh, that's so precious that you knew when you needed a wittle time out! It lets me know that the civilian woman probably knew just how pathetically lacking in anything to respect you were or she'd not have basically dismissed you.
And in case I had any doubt at all, here you are, asking net strangers for how you could have handled a naughty waughy hands in pockets soldier! Well, you could start by becoming a soldier first, which is apparently nowadays something that doesn't just "happen" for having finished Basic!
And in case I had any doubt at all, here you are, asking net strangers for how you could have handled a naughty waughy hands in pockets soldier! Well, you could start by becoming a soldier first, which is apparently nowadays something that doesn't just "happen" for having finished Basic!
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I know this is a late response, but SLAM DUNK the soldier. You got the power of the pen and it is clear this soldier needs to learn what respect is. I'd have this soldier's pay and at the same time he'd be scrubbing toilets with a tooth brush.
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It seems that you have to be a lawyer just to make some dirtbag do some push-ups nowadays. New Army.
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Silly civilian, we don't care how you feel. He would have provided a answer and respect or he would be standing tall before the man.
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All I can say is, the Army has certainly changed (and not for the better) since I was in it 50 years ago.
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The blatantly disrespectful attitude, the willful shoving of hands in the pockets, and the continued disrespectful attitude and refusal to follow orders...Chief Oldschool takes individual outside and administers some 'Conex Box Counseling' replying that he fell down the stairs while I was trying to talk to him.
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