Do civilians really understand veterans or are they really sincere?

In my mind, there are three groups of civilians (who aren't vets):

1) Those who have a close friend or family member who serves, and are intimately knowledgeable and aware of the sacrifices made not only by the servicemember, but by the families - they have lived through it.

2) Those who view from afar, and either make a sincere effort to make sure those who serve feel appreciated or are uncomfortable acknowledging what the military does out of a lack of understanding. Either way, neither pretends to understand the service and keep it at arms length.

3) The friend or acquaintance who plays Call of Duty, watches war movies, had a college roommate who would occasionally wake them up as they went out the door to PT, and thinks they know exactly what being in the military is like. Common lines are "Oh, I had a friend who deployed once, I know what it can be like," followed by something to the effect of "Oh, I totally would've enlisted but [insert cop-out here]."

Pardon my language ladies and gentlemen, but the people in groups 1) and 2) are the salt of the earth, while people in group 3) are the worst type of douchebags.

Personally, Veterans Day is one of the saddest days for me.  I try to come up with a reason to be glad for the ones who gave all for me and everyone else, hopeful that I will live honorable life to honor the fallen, and happy that I am hear with all my body parts and my sanity to still serve in what I love to do and that's being in the army.  On the other hand, it is a deeply emotional day where I think of the service members who I knew personally who gave all and lost their lives in the combat zone. 

Gratitude should be accepted at face value unless some sort of danger or dishonor is attached. The witty SFC sounds like he/she was having a bad day.
I don't think it matters if civilians don't really understand. Heck, I don't understand what a combat member goes though. They understand enough to appreciate what we do or did to some degree, and that should be enough. Ultimately, we serve for our own sense of honor & duty, any outside recognition should be appreciated and cherished without judgment.

First and foremost, thank you brothers and sisters for your unwavering dedication to those who are and have served. Your bravery and dedication are seen all around us everyday in the liberties we enjoy. Secondly, to A1C Jerimiah, You are right, the thanks of family are the only ones that mean the most. Our families are just as much to thank as we are. If not for them we would not have the structure and brass fortitude to serve in our nations military. 3rdly, to SGT William, Understandably veterans day would be a sad day for any veteran. However, think not of the ones who gave all, think of the strength they had to give that ultimate sacrifice for you, me, our families, and every American citizen. They would not want us to morn their loss of life, but celebrate their life and their willingness to sacrifice that for us so we may live another day to defend this nation. These are just my comments, I do not mean to offend anyone, if I have I apologize, I just wanted to share my thanks to my brothers and sisters, and give my opinion to those who already have as well. To the origination of this posting, a civilian, unless from military heritage, cannot understand nor truly thank a veteran as they no nothing of the sacrifice we have given. So when someone stops me to thank me, my usual response is, "I only wish I could have done more". For the simple fact of too many of my brothers and sisters have left and yet I am still here. I live each day to remember then (whether I knew them or not) because every person who has taken that oath is my brother and is my sister and always will me. I know they are in heaven protect the pearly gates and one day I will join them in the ever lasting lost duty station.

I have personally dealt with this subject... some civilians that you may encounter that says THANK YOU comes from the heart, most of the civilians we support you, THEN you say THANK YOU, if you say or ask how ....... it's not caught off guard, , it could be someone in there family or friend already served or died..... or they could possibly mean I wish I could join but medically I can not, throwing the Q? back in there face shows your anger or resentment towards that person for not knowing....... you think you have that right, but you really do not know how that person feels at that time.... I have learn through my 35 years of service is just be HUMBLE, accept there BLESSINGS and move on

CPT (Join to see) - My personal feelings are that I sincerely hope that they do not understand. Having had combat veteran friends of mine crying on my shoulder because they are struggling with decisions that they made....I don't want a civilian to ever understand the affect that combat takes on a person. I love my Soldiers, and they are a part of my Family. I love the role that we play in maintaining a society that allows free thought and debate.

I do not agree that the media and our general population should ever even attempt to understand the full spectrum of what happens. War is Hell, and I personally fight every day at home to keep my daughter from understanding the things that are bad with the world at this stage. I want her to see the good things in the world so that she doesn't have the same jaded viewpoint as her father does, and so that she has a childhood as free from all of this as possible. I want my friends to understand that being in the military entails sacrifice, but that I don't want my brothers and sisters details to be subject to criticism from people that have no concept of what is happening.

Anyone that says that they "understand what you are going through" without having been there is full of shit. They are either a liar, a fool, or both. I never once told a combat vet "I know what you are going through." I have said "I understand that you feel _____", but never once have I pretended to have a full grasp on the experiences in combat. If I, as a military member cannot say that, some civilian that has never served cannot say that.

My job has been very supportive, and when I mobilized they sent 3 boxes (very very large boxes, probably around $100 to ship) full of candies, cookies, and various other things for our Soldiers. There are a few that still thank me for my sacrifices, and occasionally talk to the patients about me being in the military.

Also, I don't worry about "what do you do for me?" Thanking me for serving and saying you support me is a far cry from the way my Vietnam brothers and sisters were treated coming home. I'll support myself and my family, and help every veteran that I can. I just ask that the civilians remember that no matter what the outcome of a conflict is, it's always the Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines and Coast Guardsman that will bear the price. If we win, they still lose friends and loved ones. If we lose, they still lose friends and loved ones. Both ways people deal with the scars of war. Don't ever get in their face about the decisions that they had to make and the actions that they had to take to achieve whatever victories they could.
v/r,
CPT Butler

Does anyone really understand anyone?

While most outside the military community do not understand what it is actually like to serve, I think they realize to a small degree what is asked of the military, and the sacrifices they have made and are willing to make. I do think they are appreciative and sincere when they thank a service member or vet for his or her service.

The ones that bother me the most are those who like to pretend they are something they are not. In my honest opinion, pretenders are cowards seeking glory and haven't got enough spine to put it on the line.

No one can fully understand us unless they've walked a mille or 2 in combat boots. This certainly applies in the opposite direction. We chose this life of servitude because it was what we wanted. Who knows how we would have felt if we did what the majority of Americans do and not join the military. I can't speak for the wannabee game player or resentful soldier haters out there. maybe they were rejected for service, maybe that had a relative or close friend who had a bad experience or died. The majority I believe are sincere in how they treat us, whether it be good or bad or indifferent. It all depends on where they're coming from.

They try but not being immersed in military culture makes the issue a tough one. In my own opinion every able body should serve one hitch and the understanding would grow.