Do you see an issue with service members and veterans defining who they are by their military service?

Go to just about any cemetery and you will find folks who are forever identified as a veteran, even if they also have a civilian headstone. I was fortunate that I grew up during a time that most of the men in the community were veterans. I appreciate them as the pillars of the community that they were, but am also proud that they stepped up when it counted.

SGT Joseph Gunderson Once a Marine, Always a Marine. I am proud of my service, but I only served four years. My primary civilian career spanned 33 years, and was a large part of my life. Even though I knew the program was ending years in advance, it was extremely hard to see it end. As mentioned by Maj John Bell, you have to find a balance in your life that works for you.

You are what you are and sometimes what you do has such a formative effect on your life that yes it does truly define you SGT Joseph Gunderson

I live in a region of the country that the socially hip and demonstrably prominent segment of the population is ardently anti-military/anti-veteran. Though you'll see and hear the surfacey "thank you for your service" which I loathe, what they actually talk about when they think there aren't veterans around or they believe everyone around them thinks as they do, their true feelings of animus and hatred spill out like a sewer hole. I simply go about my business when I hear it because there is nothing I can say or do to affect change.

I am a veteran and I am pround of my service. I come from a long line of men and women who stepped up and served, dating back to this nation's beginnings. This still does not define who I am but rather lends insight to me on the sort of folks from whom I descend. I am a husband, father, son and brother. These do not define me, either. These are roles either by choice or by birth. My role as a veteran is both current and past history and like my other roles, it plays a part in defining my character but not necessarily who I am as a person. I have complete control and accountability for who I am and the actions I take. My time in uniform contributed to shaping this but didn't alter who I am.

I don't begrudge folks who place their identity on their time in uniform and service. I only suggest that what they do when they carry this banner matters to their community (which includes their family) and if they are arrogant jerks, others will judge them and all veterans for their actions.

When we wore the uniform, we did so in service to our country. Those who judge us are part of our country. Be discerning in how to carry the veteran banner if this is how you represent yourself.

So many great input below. I agree that this becomes a problem when they are so consumed by their veteran status, they don't look towards the future. It seems harder for them to adjust to civilian culture and set themselves up for disappointment. They might have been a "golden boy or girl" in the military but they should establish their other identity once they are separated.

I enjoy meeting other veterans and telling sea stories but we all should not get too wrapped up in it. We are in a special club. I was at an airport and I showed my driver's licenses to TSA. Somehow, the guy knew I served without me ever mentioning it. Same thing with casino security. It was kind of neat.

I want to go back despite being 52 years old. Retired with my 20 year letter, 6 years Active duty and 14 years Guard and Reserves. Finally finished my BA in Psychology, now what? The current plan is a Masters degree in Counseling, and to work with the VA.

I see it as a huge issue. Folks that just can't let go end up being amazingly bitter and unable to deal with civilian life. They also tend to be the ones that lurk in the Exchanges or Commissaries, or at the local VFW/Legion halls so they can re-re-re-re-retell their war stories to anyone that will listen.

Sorry, Al Bundy, but "Used-to-bees" don't make no honey (stolen from a retired USMC Sergeant Major. High School/college was a long time ago, and you aren't a wide receiver or cheerleader any longer... so just do what Disney's Elsa recommends...

LET IT GO!!

No, I don't see an issue with it. We might accomplish great things in our lives, but being in the military might be what we are most proud of because of how much it meant to us. A lot of us see military service as a Brotherhood or a lifestyle. Everything else just boils down to a job for us.

Trust !e, and I know tis is just mymvoew of course, I think we all do it...actually, I rather think it pretty inescapable, you know? As in totally unavoidable, honest, pretty much...certain things are life changing...doing that stuff, I think, clearly qualifies, in a way those who've never done it can rarely, if ever, even remotely hope to begin to understand, you know?