Does anyone have a funny (or really bad) military recruiter story to share?

Well, to start with, one of the senior NCOs at my recruiting station was a little too friendly with a female recruit. On a trip back from MEPS, we were all riding back in the government van. We dropped this female off at her house, and next thing you know, the NCO was making out with her on the front porch. All of us in the van saw it, but we kept our mouths shut. About a week later, this NCO disappeared from the office. No one at the office would mention why.

Speaking of MEPS, even though I had a high enough GT score for whatever MOS I wanted, they tried to tell me the only thing available was infantry, mortars, and tank turret repairer. I basically told them they were full of shit, and if they wanted me to join, I wanted to be a 67T (now 15T). If they could not come through, I was leaving. Guess what, they happened to just "find" the MOS I wanted. Go figure. I guess quotas do count after all.

my original Navy recruiter, when I signed up and chose aviation he never said a word to me about the enlisted aircrew program which had I known about it I would have been very interested in. However, to be fair, he was an MS1 (cook) so I doubt he even knew about it himself.

It is probably a recruiter thing but my recruiter talked in circles with out telling me anything. MEPs recommended I go ADA and my recruiter could tell me nothing about it but that sure didn't stop him from talking. I bet he told me how smart I was and how well I would do in ADA at least 15 or 20 times. When he was done I signed the line for ADA and had absolutely no idea what I was getting into.

I tried to tell my recruiter story, but it coming out too bitter. So I don't think I will

I went in to see the Air Force recruiter. He was out of the office. I walked into the Army recruiter. The rest is history. Sometimes I ponder what could have been.

When I was 19 in 1986 I was walking through a mall. Two Army recruiters came up to me suddenly. I was working a part time job , going to junior college, and living at home at the time. I had no desire to going into the military.

These two young recruiters talked to me awhile and got my phone number. I wanted to give them a fake phone number, but didn't. About three days later they called my house. I was nervous and tried to get out of it. I feared boot camp and being shaved bald at the time. I had a nice medium length mop of hair at the time.

I talked on the phone and the recruiter talking me in to coming over in his government car and picking me up. I dressed up a bit and he arrived at my door. I was driven to the recruiting office and given a test. I couldn't believe I was even there. I had never planned to join the Army! They talked to me awhile and soon I wanted to join. I was going to sign up! Then they asked me if I'd ever tried LSD. I had once. They didn't like that idea. They said it can stay in your system. However they said you still should be able to join, but they'd have to check into it. Well that sort of ended the interview there. I never joined, honestly I was going to though.

My first recruit while working as a recruiter was having a hard time staying within weight standards to ship off. My station commander called him in and asked that his mother came with him. He said, "Son, are gonna do what I tell you?" The young DEPer said he would. SFC Christie then asked mom if she would ensure he did what he was told. She said she would. He lowered his voice and said, "OK, here it comes." Then in a sudden and loud voice he said, "Put the fork down and push your fat ass away from the table!!" Two months later, he shipped off to basic.

I HAVE A GREAT RECRUITER STORY, ILL NEVER FORGET HIM SSGT DEMKO, BIGGEST STRETCHER OF THE TRUTH, THIS GUY JUST LIED & TOLD YOU HIS WIDE WIEGHED 400LBS.
NOT THAT THATS BAD ,BUT I MET HER & SHE WASNT.THIS GUY HAD ME SO NERVOUS BEFORE GOING TO BOOT CAMP, THER E WASNT ANY CHANCE I WOULD ARRIVE IN SOUTH CAROLINA , PARRIS ISLAND. IN FANOMINMAL SHAPE, I JIONED 9 MONTHS BEFORE I LEFT HIGH SCHOOL, SO I HAD A YEAR & A HALF IN THE DELAYED ENTRY PROGRAM.
I WORKED OUT WITH DEMKO EVERY OTHER DAY FOR A YEAR & A HALF, HE WAS A LITTLE BIT OF A FIBBER BUT HE GOT YOU READY FOR BOOT..

I've heard some great ones over the years but mine is pretty uneventful. Bottom line, I knew what I wanted going in there, after getting good advice from folks in my neighborhood.
I knew I wanted to fly as an aircrewman...nothing else. Air Force couldn't guarantee that but the Navy could...plus, it was 1987 and "TOPGUN" just came out...so hell yeah! (Joking...no really).

I got delayed for one day shipping out to bootcamp because a buddy of mine wanted to join up also, so the recruiter set it up so that we'd leave on the same day...didn't guarantee any "buddy program" stuff but we did end up in the same Company, which made for some pretty funny situations.

I came home on leave from AIT during the holidays to find my recruiter gone. He liked the female recruits a little to much.