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Hello, my people! I was recently asked to provide input on an NCOER we're writing for an E-6 who recently transferred to our shop. His losing unit did not write him an outgoing NCOER, so of course it falls on us to pick up the pieces.
The losing unit sang his praises, offering gushing adoration for this guy. But when we pressed them for bullets, they were unable to come up with anything concrete. Their failure to point to specific accomplishments more or less matches our observation of him.
He's a guy that would probably do well if we still had SP6 as a rank. So when my counterpart (his new rater) asked for bullets, this was my tongue-in-cheek reply:
* Can successfully inhale and exhale in sequence without supervision
* Routinely laces boots without causing loss of circulation to feet
* Surfs social media on his cellphone better than any other E-6 I've observed
* Maintains steady temperature in whatever chair he is occupying
So I thought I'd throw this topic out to all of you. Any humorous evaluation comments you've seen, or wish you could've included in writing one? Please share!
The losing unit sang his praises, offering gushing adoration for this guy. But when we pressed them for bullets, they were unable to come up with anything concrete. Their failure to point to specific accomplishments more or less matches our observation of him.
He's a guy that would probably do well if we still had SP6 as a rank. So when my counterpart (his new rater) asked for bullets, this was my tongue-in-cheek reply:
* Can successfully inhale and exhale in sequence without supervision
* Routinely laces boots without causing loss of circulation to feet
* Surfs social media on his cellphone better than any other E-6 I've observed
* Maintains steady temperature in whatever chair he is occupying
So I thought I'd throw this topic out to all of you. Any humorous evaluation comments you've seen, or wish you could've included in writing one? Please share!
Humor
Evaluations
NCOER
OER
Posted 9 y ago
Responses: 401
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Motivated in action while still maintaining a sense of ambiguity in results.
(27)
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25
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This officer has all the qualities of the commanders dog, with the exception of loyalty.
(25)
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I stole this from an old email from my ex-husband, who was British Army:
-His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
-This NCO is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.
-He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
-He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
-Technically sound, but socially impossible.
-She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
-He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
-This NCO should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better.
-His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
-This NCO is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.
-He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
-He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
-Technically sound, but socially impossible.
-She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
-He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
-This NCO should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better.
(25)
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PVT Raymond Lopez
CMSgt Stephanie McGirr since you had to bring up the British Army I had to bring up this story I had the pleasure of knowing Ian Vernon Hogg (1926 – 7 March 2002) who was a British author of books on firearms, artillery, ammunition, and fortification, as well as biographies of several famous general officers. During his career he wrote, co-wrote, edited, or co-edited about 150 books and sold well over 1 million copies and was a master story teller told a story about an unnamed officer of the Royal Horse Artillery who he never named to protect the guilty said officer was court martialed in Egypt for conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman the way he told the story about had been arrested by the “Red Caps” (The Royal Corps of Military Police) for chasing a nude lady down the hallway of Sheppard’s Hotel dressed in the same manner. At his court martial he was defended by a young barrister who used the defense that under King’s Regulations a serving officer when not uniform must be properly attired for the activity he was engaged in. The court martial acquitted the unnamed officer of the Royal Horse Artillery. The young barrister was in great demand for officers who really blotted their copy books very badly.
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* Manages to enter and exit doors without running into them 8/10 times.
* Successfully avoided infecting others in the unit with Lycanthropy for length of tour.
* During guard duty of buildings, no building has been stolen (yet).
And these ones is real:
"Sgt Kennedy has a very 'Decisive' leadership style, and if confronted with a situation which requires problem solving, it will be solved 'decisively,' quickly, and will require no follow on." - I'm still not sure whether that was a positive or negative bullet.
"SSgt Hayford is a Fire Support God" - I actually saw that on a signed FitRep....
* Successfully avoided infecting others in the unit with Lycanthropy for length of tour.
* During guard duty of buildings, no building has been stolen (yet).
And these ones is real:
"Sgt Kennedy has a very 'Decisive' leadership style, and if confronted with a situation which requires problem solving, it will be solved 'decisively,' quickly, and will require no follow on." - I'm still not sure whether that was a positive or negative bullet.
"SSgt Hayford is a Fire Support God" - I actually saw that on a signed FitRep....
(25)
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1stSgt Eugene Harless
I was an FDC ops chief and my FDO wrote on my fit rep "He is a technical god" The S-1, who was a rather religious individual, took umbrage and took it in to the Battalion Commander. The Battalion Commander sent it back to the battery with the note " Please spell God with a capital "G" ",,,
(6)
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Sgt Jonathan J.
That sounds like a pretty positive bullet point to me. We used to call people like that a "fire and forget" asset, point them towards a problem and you knew it would get done properly.
And I naturally laughed out loud at "NO building has been stolen (yet)".
And I naturally laughed out loud at "NO building has been stolen (yet)".
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An NCOER for a very worthless NCO I had years ago:
o fully supports the Army's green initiatives; through his tireless efforts, enabled numerous on-post plants to breathe
o fully supports the Army's green initiatives; through his tireless efforts, enabled numerous on-post plants to breathe
(23)
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Makes a better doorstop than a doorjamb.
Ability to suck the life out of any unit activity is unparalleled.
Ability to suck the life out of any unit activity is unparalleled.
(22)
(0)
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