How do I approach disrespect towards a NCO?

As a Specialist, this is often a difficult time because this is where you are being groomed for that next leadership position. Part of this time is where you evaluate yourself as a leader and where you want to be one day in developing your leadership style. There is no better time to learn now with this situation you described.

The old TIS/TIG argument, welcome to the E4 mafia. Let's clear up something, TIS/TIG only applies in determining promotion eligibility and when a team/squad ldr or platoon sergeant need to make a junior enlisted person in charge of some task. You must always keep in mind that just because someone has more time in grade doesn't make them a better leader nor does it mean that they know more than you. I've put some of my junior's in charge of a task, sometimes a PVT or a PFC, so I can evaluate them on how they handle stress, directions, confrontations, how they handle the responsibility and how they accomplish the task. So your buddy there can just stuff that TIS/TIG argument because it doesn't wash in regards to disrespecting an NCO.

This soldier sounds like he has a history of bordering on disrespect, not good....and you have every right to correct the guy. Their actions are detrimental to unit morale, the discipline of this organization, your platoon, squad, team. Their insubordinate behavior is incompatible with the Army Values along with a laundry list of other things, but you get the idea.

Your team leader needs to assert their authority and quick, it will get ugly if he doesn't. That other E4 needs to maintain their military bearing because this has gotten to a point where disrespect becomes an issue that must be dealt with both swiftly and tactfully. Keep in mind that your team ldr can also be counseled by his sqd ldr or plt sgt for allowing this to continue.


You stated that you are a bit older and with that perhaps some maturity that the other E4 hasn't quite demonstrated. You have learning opportunity here and it's not easy taking the hard right. You obviously want him to succeed, then you need to step up. So go to the sqd ldr or plt sgt, if you allow it to continue, you become part of the problem and this E4 joker may end up being a toxic leader one day.

Remember, leadership is not about a popularity contest. Colin Powell once said, “Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity. You’ll avoid the tough decisions, you’ll avoid confronting people who need to be confronted, and you’ll avoid offering different rewards based on different performance because some people might get upset.”

You can say something to that E4 you are both equal rank (SPC) if the SGT is looking for keep his friendship with this SPC and the disrespect he is digging himself into hole. Because other NCO'S especially the 1SG get a word around the camp fire about what is going on in your section, there is a FM 6-22 Army Leadership Chapter 2, 2-1 to 2-7 also DA PAM 350-58 Leader Development. As a NCO he should hold a meeting with the section and lay down the rules. Two: Counsel soldiers monthly, and when necessary and or corrective. Remember, when your in a leadership position, you have to maintain military discipline. Every soldier should know this, "BE,KNOW,DO"!

If you have already talked to the offender about it then this is completely on your NCO. Unfortunately there is such thing as weak NCOs and strong NCOs and this is where they first get weeded out. He is there to be a leader, not a friend. Making that first jump into a leadership position amongst your peers is hard. You must cut ties of friendship with your peers. If his friend actually respected him, he would offer the proper customs and courtesies demanded of his rank until he catches up through promotion to him. Honestly I think as soon as someone gets promoted into a higher leadership position that they should be moved to a new unit automatically to avoid these kinds of situations. Alas, this is not always feasible and we will always have situations like this.

I feel the National Guard has this issue because they never separate business from pleasure. On active duty I never had this issue with transition from lower enlisted to in NCO because there was a military common courtesy standard that was followed. ever since my first drill in the National Guard I complained about this time after time and the response from the upper echelon was "this is a more lay back friendly environment". so I guess they took that asNational Guard doesn't need to follow military standard. it all comes down to maturity, I have always had higher ranking friends personally but at work It's all professional. so if I was a specialist and my friend a staff sergeant, I need to come at ease when speaking to him in uniform unless otherwise directed.

So we all know what the regs say, and what military customs and courtesies say. I have never served in a Guard or Reserve unit, although I've been around them. I don't honestly know what to tell you -- I want to give you good advice and feedback, but I'm not the kind of guy who thinks quoting regs is always the best answer. My approach has always been resolving things at the lowest level, with a nod to human understanding. And if that doesn't work, then bust out the big guns.

Familiarity breeds contempt, as the saying goes, but sometimes what choice do we have? In a Guard unit, it seems to me that you're dealing with a double-edged sword. As an example, you might be someone's employer on the civilian side, but that guy might be your squad leader when it's time to put on the uniform. So would that be an instance where spitting regs at a situation will make the issue go away? Maybe, maybe not -- what if said junior enlisted troop decided to hold it against you on the civilian side? Guard soldiers have two paychecks, remember.

I think a possible answer here, as I'm reading comments, is that the guy needs to lay it all on the line to his troops. Maybe even turn it around on them -- "Put yourself in my shoes for a second. We're buddies on the outside, then all of a sudden YOU get stripes. What would you say or do to me if I was bucking you, if I undermined your NCO authority or disrespected your rank/position? Would you laugh it off?"

If the unit Sergeant Major won't handle it, remember that you (or that NCO) has a chain of command. Two of them: an actual CoC and an NCO Support Chain. Someone needs to get squared away, in this case the NCO in question needs someone to help him/her sack up and the soldier(s) bucking this new NCO also need to be counseled, maybe with UCMJ attached.

How about having a talk with the new NCO away from the rest of the unit and express your concerns to him and what you have observed. Ask him how he would like you to proceed towards your unit and let him know that he has your support. This would go along way in helping maintain unit cohesiveness and would also give him the opportunity to grow into his new role.