How do I get my soldiers to respect me?

listen to your COC. One of the hardest things a new NCO learns is how to transition from a good, responsible follower to a good, responsible leader. Learn to delegate. I am in a low density MOS and until I was a senior SSG, I was often a 1-man show. I was often taking initiative to set up the tables in the motor pool for chow, sweeping the drill hall, etc. A great mentor and now 1SG pulled me aside and noted that no one feels a need to follow me as a leader because I am confusing leading from the front with doing everything and not allowing others to be led.

I know I'm low on the pole here but from the bottom looking up these are my quick thoughts. Be the NCO that your guys know they can go to for instruction without a second guess. I've listened to guys talk and experienced it myself when an NCO is wrong or doesn't know the answer. That's not bad, but how you handle being wrong or not knowing changes perception.

Probably a frustrating thing I'm sure many of us have experienced at least once is doing a task correctly, being told you did it wrong and to change it, then to be told by a SNCO or Officer to do it the way you did it the first time. So I guess that goes into being proficient and good with communicating with your Soldiers, your peers, and your COC.

I don't know if I'm wording it right, but you're not their friend you're their Sergeant. Saying it makes sense to me but what I mean is that you're a mentor now and a leader. You need to delegate and work on improving the guys below you but sometimes I don't think it hurts for them to see you get your hands dirty alongside them.

Every person you has ever worked with has taught you leadership lessons.

Some have been what to do. Some have been what not to do. Remember those lessons and apply them.

Leadership is the ART of influencing people to accomplish a specific mission or goal. It is based on refined practices (SCIENCE). There are things that work and don't work, but there are also things that work which can be applied badly causing them not to work. Look back through your career and take your personal lessons to heart.

As for your COC saying "work less, supervise more" they are in reality telling you "Get out of the Tactical, and start thinking Operationally/Strategically." You have already proven yourself at the Tactical Level, and they will use you there if needed, but they need you to refine the Operational+ skill set. You have to stop thinking at the basic Task level and start delegating (supervising) because your scope of influence is larger and your view of your battlespace is larger. If you have tunnel vision at the Task level, you can't accomplish Operations.

As an example, "Take that hill" (Task) vs "We need that hill so we can provide/deny coverage for our next advancement" (Operational level). The more pieces you know (because you have more information gatherers, and are fed more information from above), the better decisions you can make as a leader. These in turn, feed back down to your guys from the fundamental "Mission Accomplishment, Troop Welfare" standpoint.