Posted on Mar 8, 2015
How do you handle narcissistic superiors who promote themselves at the expense of their subordinates?
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Examples I’ve witnessed or personally experienced with my Airmen:
- Extra hours on top of a 12 to 16-hr workday spent turning over snow on the sidewalk near footpaths so a DV’s eyes aren’t offended by “dirty, muddy” snow.
- Completely re-arranging a shop’s set-up so that important people (i.e. this individual’s superiors) are presented with the sexy equipment/work areas right at the door even if it it’s a PITA to actually work around.
- Additional work on the grounds that the contracted lawn care/landscape folks did not complete to his/her satisfaction… on the weekend.
- Pulling weekend duty to chase high-scores on production metrics regardless of actual mission requirements/demand.
These are just a few. My problem is this seems to be happening more and more as I discuss it with my peers over an adult beverage. None of these are ‘unlawful’ orders but they hurt the lives of our people and their families. Insubordination aside, bitching about it to your subordinates only exacerbates the problem for numerous reasons. In addition, it also undermines the importance of orders/direction that actually needs to be carried out for the mission. In many cases it seems like our hands are tied to combat this and we just have to force feed our folks the feces sandwich and wait for the toxic leader to get his/her head-pat by a star and eventually promoted out of that position. How do you actually take care of your people in these situations?
- Extra hours on top of a 12 to 16-hr workday spent turning over snow on the sidewalk near footpaths so a DV’s eyes aren’t offended by “dirty, muddy” snow.
- Completely re-arranging a shop’s set-up so that important people (i.e. this individual’s superiors) are presented with the sexy equipment/work areas right at the door even if it it’s a PITA to actually work around.
- Additional work on the grounds that the contracted lawn care/landscape folks did not complete to his/her satisfaction… on the weekend.
- Pulling weekend duty to chase high-scores on production metrics regardless of actual mission requirements/demand.
These are just a few. My problem is this seems to be happening more and more as I discuss it with my peers over an adult beverage. None of these are ‘unlawful’ orders but they hurt the lives of our people and their families. Insubordination aside, bitching about it to your subordinates only exacerbates the problem for numerous reasons. In addition, it also undermines the importance of orders/direction that actually needs to be carried out for the mission. In many cases it seems like our hands are tied to combat this and we just have to force feed our folks the feces sandwich and wait for the toxic leader to get his/her head-pat by a star and eventually promoted out of that position. How do you actually take care of your people in these situations?
Posted in these groups: 
Toxic Leadership
Toxic Leadership
Edited 11 y ago
Posted 11 y ago
Responses: 8
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Document, document, document. Especially when these "extra" things have direct negative impact on the operational mission. Might be worth an IG complaint. There are ways to submit anonymously. open door policy with the individual or thier next level CC.
There is also the ultimate maxim. If you don't like your leadership...wait 2 years, it will change.
There is also the ultimate maxim. If you don't like your leadership...wait 2 years, it will change.
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I agree with TSgt Joshua Copeland but beautiful thing, I have now been able to work for those that are not Toxic. By choice.
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Pretty simple actually.
1. First, you can only control the world you are charged with (what you are responsible for). You can't control, influence, or change your superiors. I have had this issue more than once, and at the end of the day... you are the only losing sleep. Focus on what you can control.
2. Second, you learn things from every leader... the good and the not so good (or bad)... Put this in your kit bag, as a behavior you will never exhibit.
1. First, you can only control the world you are charged with (what you are responsible for). You can't control, influence, or change your superiors. I have had this issue more than once, and at the end of the day... you are the only losing sleep. Focus on what you can control.
2. Second, you learn things from every leader... the good and the not so good (or bad)... Put this in your kit bag, as a behavior you will never exhibit.
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LTC (Join to see)
COL Charles Williams Sir, I was not saying that is our only job. You mention sphere of influence, and it is like a Venn diagram. Subordinates, peers, and superiors should all have their own circle in each individuals diagram. Where each falls is where your influenced is focused.
I agree with you on the premise of the question, I was just doing what I will always continue to do, challenge the conventional thought paradigm for the better understanding of those around us.
I agree with you on the premise of the question, I was just doing what I will always continue to do, challenge the conventional thought paradigm for the better understanding of those around us.
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COL Charles Williams
Well LTC (Join to see) That is what we need, challenging the conventional ways. Things always are changing (the only constant). This worked well for me, but different things work for each of us. Don't get me wrong, I have challenged many a superior, when I though it mattered; and had my butt chewed by up to a 4 star general... But, I also learned to pick my fights wisely. For, me, my measure of how I was doing was always what my units thought, not what my bosses thought. I always focused down, and the rest took care of itself. Tread lightly, challenging superiors, as many don't like it. Also the time and place matter. Thanks for your service and be safe!!!
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COL Charles Williams
LTC (Join to see) One last point... also remember the lens we look thru is that of a military leader... which is vastly different on the outside... Most business, or corporations don't have a leader development system that comes close to ours... Many places, like education, is the polar of opposite of a leader development program. It has been interesting to say the least.
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LTC (Join to see)
COL Charles Williams I will take that advice, especially since I believe that something in the education field is somewhere in my post military future.
I like to think that there are small groups of people in any organization that can be agents of change they just need the right individual as a catalyst to release them from the sedentary state that they currently abide in.
I like to think that there are small groups of people in any organization that can be agents of change they just need the right individual as a catalyst to release them from the sedentary state that they currently abide in.
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I am told that I care too much as I try my best to protect Soldiers from these situations.
We are about to start one tomorrow where a Key Leader is trying to prove a point using the Soldiers. From what I gather there will not be a real lunch break as we were told to bring it with us and if we didn't then an MRE would be provided.
I also did not hear a breakfast plan.
I am waiting to see what the outcome is for the week before I know the real deal. Time shall tell. I will back brief on Friday.
We are about to start one tomorrow where a Key Leader is trying to prove a point using the Soldiers. From what I gather there will not be a real lunch break as we were told to bring it with us and if we didn't then an MRE would be provided.
I also did not hear a breakfast plan.
I am waiting to see what the outcome is for the week before I know the real deal. Time shall tell. I will back brief on Friday.
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I gave mine enough rope to hang himself. I wrote a program specific to my duties at my location, which my supervisor took credit for. I ensured it could not be changed to other duties or locations without my source code available, then being a single NCO I was deployed before everyone else. My supervisor had been saying how great this software was to other air terminals who asked their chains of command for the same software. HQ USAF directed him to make copies of "his" software for other stations and he failed at it. The chain of command made the wrong assumption of it being developed on government computers but the only source code available was on my home computer, and made the further mistake of thinking the database was housed on a government computer. Wrong, it was all on my home computer using VPN protocols. I offered to modify and sell it but USAF said no and reprimanded him once the truth came out.
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I worked for a Lt Col who was trying so hard to make Colonel. He took credit for everything I did. Signed every Article 15, every discharge. He even called me into his office to ask my opinion about WHY he wasn't getting promoted. I was a 1st Lt with prior service! I just did my job and kept quiet until I could get orders.
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It's no different in the civilian world. It's really frustrating having been a Tsgt in the Air Force that was an Air Craft Crew Chief, with a Bachelors Degree, just to be working for self serving supervisors that take credit for your work, overload you with their work, and never stick up for you when upper management has issues with you getting things done by a deadline. A) The tasks that had deaines weren't even my jobs, they were my bosses, B) How do you expect me to meet deadlines when you just keep piling more and more on, C) It would be nice to even know that in the pile of jobs and tasks you gave me, what had deadlines and what were less time sensitive!!
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Set their narcissistic ass up for a career setback. Put the phone number to the MP unit on speed dial. Next time that person has a couple drinks and gets behind the wheel, dial those digits with a vehicle description. Shit, if you want to play real dirty, buy them a couple drinks on your next deployment when their guard is down!
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