Posted on Feb 22, 2015
PO3 Aaron Hassay
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It just seems I am stuck. Slower and slower. Reading and Reading the same stuff, a bit here a bit there, before I jump into another PDF, and then onto another 1 within a sentence or paragraph back and forth until I fall asleep, with my computer getting slower because there are to many PDFS.

I know I need to remember these like the back of my hand as if I was going to take a test. It is not a test to pass a rate or mos exam. It an exam to show the world, the tight case, of a sure fire way, to destroy an 18 year old Varsity Athlete 70 ASVAB score never smoked never got drunk kid, who was sold be a recruiter a very unique Sea and Air Mariner 8 year enlistment, that uknowingly he discovered doing research, on SSDI for Anxiety and Mood Disorder, 38 years old, dowloading PDFs, including the 1994 DOD Manpower Requirement Report that States NAVY terminated the SAM Enlistent and the SAMII enlistment plus nailed the coffin shut by eliminating the the very very specific ITP Individual Training Program, that was created specifically for the highest priority highest stress unit, that a SAM may be attatched, after Bootcamp. So where do you think I would be attatched after bootcamp out of the many many many possibly hundreds of different units a SAM could be attatched after bootcamp? I was attatched to that 1 Unit that the ITP Program was stripped down. On a combat ship now, without the specific training program, his enlistment was designed with; and remember, he was unknowing of this then, he would soon be like 1 lone Cub Scout thrown in with a lot of Eagle Scouts and expected to know what eagle scouts knew. It would be like 1 recruit in bootcamp who is inserted just 1 day a week and expected to fit in and perform like everyone else without flinching.

I assume either the VA adjudicating claims with "presumption to the Service Member" or people in Leadership positions, in the service, would know this is sure fail way to put a lead weight on a kids back and put him in the ocean.
Posted in these groups: Leadership abstract 007 Leadership
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CW5 Desk Officer
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Edited 10 y ago
PO3 Aaron Hassay, I think I understand what you're trying to say. What you describe is behind you now. Let that remain in the past, and start setting goals for your future. If those goals include VA benefits of some sort, that's fine.

I recommend setting long-term goals, intermediate (mid-term) goals, and short-term goals. Write them all down and make sure the short-term and mid-term goals move you closer to your long-term goals. It will feel good to do things immediately (those short-term goals), especially if the move you towards your long-term goals.

Take it one step at a time and don't overwhelm yourself.

Finally, whether you're a religious person or not, this quote from Paul (to the Philippians) seems to be good advice for you (and everyone):

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

If the end of that quote offends you, stop at "press on toward the goal."

And good luck to you!! I'm sure there are many people here on RallyPoint who have struggled and overcome obstacles. You can learn from them. We can all learn from one another.
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PO3 Aaron Hassay
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honestly..weirdly..i just stare numb...at what or what i thought of ...like wow...NO..no no way..can i stress..the fuses are gone...i do not dream of goals.i once had...they made me try to fit in with full time sailors on a combat ship..170 of them...full time sailors..active duty combat ship...and for 2 days a month..yah..i was in a part time navy enlistment...i would be the only kid on the ship or adult...that I knew of...that included the 30 other part time Navy Guys..who were part of my augment unit..but all 30 of the other guys were older..and were prior full time Navy guys...which meant they had a great working knowledge of the NAVY already...they would be at ease..and possibly laugh at what was going on and knew how to manuever and what to say..and how to relax...and they had wives apartments houses and or professional jobs..so they were mostly stable men...and lastly they were already VA Veterans for Support already and could go to a hospital after a drill...if they felt ill after combat training for 2 or 3 straight days at sea(nosuppt a long time) but just long enough to get your stress horomones all worked up..and since I was 19 when I showed up with no prior experience i was put in the lowest level hardest duty department the Deck Department..where all hazards were normal physical and mental life threatening even ..and I ask what does a kid who has only 2 days to learn all this..and get to know who he is working with..no prior experience....no silver spoon...no VA Veteran Support to go to a hospital if he felt ill or scattered or panicky....which I did and or sea sick...and or just messed up in general after heavy seas..and wind chills to freeze your back bone doing forward lookout no good weather gear that was worth a darn but a wind jacket...0100 in the middle of the ocean...and the most extreme heat...to passout level pretending you are a firefighter.with full fire fighter..gear on..and breathign apparatus...for hours...and it was all just like a big dump truck hittting me ..then getting dropped off on sunday night to go back home..and have and be like I was before I left that last friday night...

i mean that was a montly experience...

let me tell you what did happen...

the full time sailors who were in charge of me in the deck department..did not like me lack of experience...there was no limited duty exeptions for me to just be a sailor with a different enlistment ...that had a different training plan, because the ITP individual training plan for FFT Frigate Training program was eliminated in 1994, the same year I signed the enlistment 1994, the same year they eliminated the Sea and Air Mariner program 1994, was the last year they LIGHTLY LIGHTLY recruited for the SAM enlistment 1994. If I am reading my manpower reports correctly, I was 1 of possibly 10 17-19 year olds in the Nation that signed the SAM enlistment 1994. The enlistment was meant mainly to enlist older guys or ladies over 25 it seems with already developed civilian skills or education to leverage that in the Military. But they enlisted a few slim amount of 17-19 year olds ever year also.

In the same year regular Navy Enlistments for 17-19 year olds would equal in the 40,000 range 1994.

So I was 1 of 10 17-19 year olds. I ended up in the highest priority highest stressor unit, by luck because of my home duty station and surrounding units, and the fact the unit had a close to 50 percent attrition rate annually they threw me in there, without the ITP plan that was created to manage correctly the expectations properly of 2 days a month of training. Basically what can anyone in any job anywhere know and retain in 2 days a month? Well in the department I would be in, I will claim nothing. Nothing exept a monthly heart attack and no health care to access. There was only enlisted Medical Corpsman who are not even trained in diagnosing mental stress conditions such as anxiety which I did complain of on a physical 1997, and it was compleltly ignored, my blood pressure was not even taken, or my body weight. The next year in between I was sexually harrased and also beaten up at sea by the only e9 on the ship and I tried to transfer into the ARMY after that. During the same physical i passed at 18 yo 1994 out of high school to join the navy, I failed with a PSYCH SPINE and MUSKOSKELETAL DQ Failure 1998 and offered no support, and now scared shitless with no direction, and no fucking support..no 1 adult would take me to the side in the entire interactions of others in service who were in my command or who had knowledge of me, even with me passing every eval and never having and NJP, and no 1..no 1 would get me help...but they let me serve 6 more months in the same damn department ...i had to muster or.what happens..if you do not show up..and you are obligated .

you know what happens...even if you are getting bullied and do not show up ..even if you are overwhelmed and you do not show up..even if they put a dump truck on yyour head..and you don not show up..and you are just part time..


you get this great thing called a dishorable discharge possibly..

what is going on...

i just need now support and peace...i really do...
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