Posted on Nov 1, 2020
How should I deal with leaving my family, and my kids in particular, to join the military?
4.91K
36
27
9
9
0
Serving my country has been a long time desire of mine and at 28, also a way of bettering myself and providing my son with a better future. Unfortunately his mom and I don’t always see eye to eye. I’m at the Hotel today getting ready to ship out tomorrow and me and her had an argument today. It makes it really tough on me. It stresses me out and after an emotional time with my son when I was leaving, I was seriously regretting my decision to go. I’m in the NG and yes it’s part time. But having to leave for 5-6 months is really tough. I almost panicked and reached out to my recruiter on how I can leave. I’m a Christian and I also want to lean on my faith but it’s not easy. Any help?
Basic Combat Training (BCT)
Family
Children
Posted 5 y ago
Responses: 19
0
0
0
Since you are already leaving it’s a little late to get her involved with your units Family Support Group But when you get a chance have your unit get them in contact with her. Having someone she can talk to that has been through deployments and separations for training is a great help. They also have activities for the families
(0)
(0)
0
0
0
If you have the time read the book "Can't Hurt Me" by David Goggins (my husband just went through basic training again in his 30th birthday and he is allowed to have books to read during downtime). It will set into the right mindset. Nothing hard comes easy and nothing is forever. As you have said, you are doing it to provide for your son but it is so much more. Your training will show him you preserve and a good role model to look up to. Good luck with your military journey.
(0)
(0)
0
0
0
I joined at 29 -- it was hard to leave my son home, but I had enlisted for station of choice and was home for Christmas and then stationed only about 60 miles from home for a year.
(0)
(0)
0
0
0
Suspended Profile
I recommend that you don’t back out. I’m Christian as well. I definitely got a lot closer to my faith during Basic. It’s a rough time. But, AIT was one of the best times in my life. Show your son that you’re a man of your word. I don’t think you want to tell him “Yeah, I almost served once. But, I backed out.”
0
0
0
This is one of the most stressful situations you'll face in your military service. It's always difficult leaving your family, but it's a consequence of wanting to serve your country while providing for your family. One of her main concerns is security. I read somewhere that married women think about security as often as their husbands think about sex. Take that into account in dealing with her. Help her feel secure in your love and commitment to her, your marriage vows, and son.
(0)
(0)
0
0
0
0
0
0
It's never easy leaving kids, no matter how long. Remember why you made this choice. You are setting an example for your kids, honoring your dream and keeping your commitment (to the contract you signed). Continue to lean on your faith, read scripture (there are plenty of stories of struggle) and attend chapel. Write letters and/or journal. You will eventually get phone time and can talk to them. This is the first of many trips away from family, it doesn't get easier but you all will adapt.
(0)
(0)
0
0
0
It is very common for couples to argue more in the months and weeks prior to a long deployment. There is a psychological term for it, but I can't remember it. It is a coping mechanism that makes it easier to turn your back, board the bus and go. During my time we didn't have the world wide web and a 5 minute phone call from Istanbul turkey to Jacksonville NC was about $70. But being separated sucks no matter how good or bad the communication is to home. You will get through it.
(0)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google