I respect all members of all branches, but where is the good humored trash talk amongst the branches?

The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.

At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).

The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.

The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".

Pleasure or Work?

The Colonel walked into the staff meeting on Monday looking bleary-eyed and exhausted. “The reception at the embassy was pretty rough, eh, sir?” asked his Number One.

“No,” replied the Colonel, “it went quite well. It’s just that Mary had a couple of more drinks than usual and was feeling kind of frisky when we got home. I was up all night after that. Sometimes sex seems like a lot more work than pleasure. What do you all think? Is sex more pleasure or work?”

“I’d say about 25% pleasure and 75% work,” opined a Major. “No, I think it’s about half of each,” said a Captain. “To me, it’s seems about 75% pleasure and only 25% work,” ventured a Lieutenant.

There being no real consensus, the Colonel looked to the grizzled Master Sergeant standing near the door and asked, “What do you think, Top?”

“It’s definitely 100% pleasure, sir, because if there was any work involved, these officers would have tried to get me to do it for them.”

How do you make a Marine commit suicide?


Throw a bucket of sand at a brick wall and tell him to hit the beach.

Question: "Who is the most dangerous individual in the US Army?"
Answer: "A Second Lieutenant with a map."

Well I will say I got sick of the Army "hooah". I once had a LTC start a conversation with me at ARCENT HQ, and he was a mumbler and low talker. I could not understand a damn thing he was saying, but every time he said "hooah", I just said "yes Sir".

I also made sure that I always used Navy terms for everything when working with the Army.... Galley, head, deck, bulkhead, etc...

If you are neither a Marine or a Navy Hospital Corpsman, you will never understand the bond between us.

Like everyone else has said, we can bust each other and be fine, but an outsider hell no.

I joined the AF and became an Air Commando flying on gunships where the gunners didn't have seats because they didn't think we'd need them long enough. I wanted to go in the Marines, but I'm allergic to crayons.

There was a conference at SHAPE Belgium. A French Admiral was very upset. He was in the company of a British Naval Officer, another British Army Officer, a USMC MG, and a USN Officer, if I remember right, he was an admiral. The French officer asked "Why do we speak English as the official language at these conferences?" The Marine said with a Texas drawl... "Maybe because we arranged for all you folks so the official language wouldn't be German."

The Navy doesn't think we're the best. We KNOW we are!!!

When I was in the Air Force I had to take M-16 and small arms training... Our instructor was an old crusty sarge from days past... He yelled without raising his voice and made it clear that anyone of us who couldn't read basic instructions could leave... We sat there unwilling to get up and leave... He walked around the room and pointed to the side of the rifle and asked us which end was to be pointed at the target... we all indicated the open end of the barrel...... "Good" he said, "at least non of you had to read the instructions on the barrel" We hesitantly looked... it read, point this arrow away from you.... "That my friends" he added, "is for the ARMY, Air Force personnel should already know which end to point"... With that we all felt smart and proud... that is until the lone Marine in the room pointed out that none of us read the instructions first....Sarge didn't let it phase him.... He simply asked the Marine... if he felt lucky..... and smiled......

Not too long after a newly commissioned Ensign reported aboard from the Academy he and the CWO4 shared a few choice words on watch one evening. The new Ensign attempted to use his collateral assignment as the Assistant-Shipboard-Supply-Officer (ASSO) as clout. The CWO4 mentored the young JO by responding yes sir you are an ASSO.