Posted on Jul 13, 2014
I respect all members of all branches, but where is the good humored trash talk amongst the branches?
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Just for fun. Call them out. Everyone thinks their branch is the best. (Unless your Navy that's not true) funny stories about why you witnessed the other branches do.
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Humor
Humor
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 116
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CMSgt James Nolan
GySgt (Join to see) No doubt about it. There are AFSCs (MOS's in USMC) that only handle pistols/rifles every 3-4 years. And some of those folks do it only with FATS. You won't see that crap out of Security Forces. But I do love the Service Humor.
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Cpl Michael Strickler
Look closer at this image though everyone. That glove is clearly worn... you do not wear gloves sitting behind a computer... that is someone from the army HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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SSG (Join to see)
Cpl Michael Strickler, you are correct. It is someone from the Army in the picture. The truth is they were handed the magazine by someone in the AF so the Soldier can correct the deficiency. :D
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PFC Jason Rodrigues
I've done PT while still drunk from the previous night. I remember doing a Company run after our entire Platoon was drinking the night before and our sweat smelled like a brewery. Both the CO and 1SG commented on us after the run. LOL
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CW4 (Join to see)
It's real lol!
Air Force To Adopt Prancercise Physical Fitness Program
An innovative approach to fitness.
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This one time, I was TAD in Chicago. My buddies and I walked into a Bar where a Navy guy yelled "DUMB JARHEADS!" We yelled back "STUPID SQUIDS!" Then we all sat down laughed and had beers while we lied to each other about our military exploits.
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I will say that the Marine uniforms look better than the Army but it is funny to watch them and the Navy go to great lengths to preserve their hats...or should I say covers lol!!
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SN Elgin Beck
Yes that is true and so is what MCPO Gregory Countie said I was an airdale working on the F-18 Jet Engine and we could fold the roll them and then pop them out like they were new. but I did always wounder why on earth they made Navy Blue digital cames when we are on the ocean, if you fell in they would not be able to fine you.
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PO1 Sharon Walters
I agree with SN Elgin Beck in reference to our (I'm ret navy) cami coloring as well. By definition camis are to hide you in your environment so you can either do what you are there to do without discovery or survive being somewhere you weren't supposed to be (why it makes sense that AF wears jungle or deserts even though they aren't usually in either situation(flying-in case they crash behind lines somewhere)) HOWEVER, in OUR world (Navy) what we wear is never going to hide us since we are on a very obvious, very visible ship out in the middle of the water and the only way we are going to "hide" is electronically from RADAR, SONAR etc. If the shit really hits the fan for us, we're going in the drink and the LAST thing I want to do at that point is blend in - make mine hunter's orange please!! :)
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Sgt Todd Meedel
I always wondered why we had to wear BDUs on the flight line the nearest tree was like 3/4 miles away.
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Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"
"My father said it'd be a good idea, sir."
"Oh? And what does your father do?"
"He's in the Army, sir."
"My father said it'd be a good idea, sir."
"Oh? And what does your father do?"
"He's in the Army, sir."
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No s--t there I was at Joint Engineer Operations Course at Wright Patterson Air Force Base (which by the way they did not even allow us to stay on post but had us in a "interesting" hotel if I recall right the Hope Hotel that would not live up to Air Force standards) and we were discussing what resources each service has and base camps, etc. Well the Air Force officer at my table goes well how we in the Air Force build our bases is we first start with the "O" club and golf courses then move to the NCO club followed by the barracks. Once that is done we move to other MWR buildings and then training buildings. We then run out of money and say we need more to build the runways. I mean we cannot function as Air Force without a runway. We all laughed.....but deep down inside I think we all wondered if that is how they truly build Air Force bases.
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MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca how do you clear a room by branches:
Marines: Blow it up. Call it cleared.
Army: Stack up. Go in and clear the room. Call it cleared.
Navy: Launch missiles from a ship from far away body of water. Call Army to go in and clear the room. Call it cleared.
Air Force: Put up a for rent sign and call it cleared.
Marines: Blow it up. Call it cleared.
Army: Stack up. Go in and clear the room. Call it cleared.
Navy: Launch missiles from a ship from far away body of water. Call Army to go in and clear the room. Call it cleared.
Air Force: Put up a for rent sign and call it cleared.
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An airman in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a MARINE joke?"
The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The Airman says, "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times."
The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5" tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The Airman says, "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times."
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Cpl Christopher Bishop
I don't remember the Marines and the Air Force having very much to say about each other at all .... unlike some of the Grunt-side Marine vs Army we sometimes hear, or the everpopular Marines vs Navy stuff. Marines and AirForce rarely coexist anyway, we just thank the USAF for those air strikes.
Semper Fi =)
Semper Fi =)
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I was out driving through Birmingham the other day with one of my "civilian job" partners, who is a retired Coastie, and it started raining. I slowed down before we hit a puddle, told him to brace himself, we were about to get some "SEA TIME." Woohoo got him fired right up.
For those not in the know, the Navy refers to the Coast Guard as the "shallow water Navy".
He then spouted off a smart line about "Hey, isn't the Marine Corps a Department of the Navy?" thinking he was bashing on my Corps time, to which I simply replied "Yes, the Men's Department". Double Boom
To which he replied, and then you joined the Navy?
"Well, you have me there" as I did enlist (can't even use the I was young and didn't know any better excuse which is popular amongst soldiers).
And told him that I was only there a year, before joining the Air Force, to which he of course related that watching "Chair Force" videos and comics on the internet was some of his funniest searches.
I had no comeback for that, other than "Oh yeah, well at least I am still in" or "that site isn't real" (when in fact I know some of it is).
You have to love inter service rivalry. Without it, the Air National Guard would be boring, because we could not poke fun at the rest of you!
For those not in the know, the Navy refers to the Coast Guard as the "shallow water Navy".
He then spouted off a smart line about "Hey, isn't the Marine Corps a Department of the Navy?" thinking he was bashing on my Corps time, to which I simply replied "Yes, the Men's Department". Double Boom
To which he replied, and then you joined the Navy?
"Well, you have me there" as I did enlist (can't even use the I was young and didn't know any better excuse which is popular amongst soldiers).
And told him that I was only there a year, before joining the Air Force, to which he of course related that watching "Chair Force" videos and comics on the internet was some of his funniest searches.
I had no comeback for that, other than "Oh yeah, well at least I am still in" or "that site isn't real" (when in fact I know some of it is).
You have to love inter service rivalry. Without it, the Air National Guard would be boring, because we could not poke fun at the rest of you!
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SrA Jeff Campbell
This is just waiting for a comment from me......Sorry have to do it Coast Guard...Remember it's all in FUN!!
How many Coast Guard personnel does it take to fire a pistol? See above pic.......1 to point the gun and 4 to give directions!!!!! HA HA HA HA
How many Coast Guard personnel does it take to fire a pistol? See above pic.......1 to point the gun and 4 to give directions!!!!! HA HA HA HA
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Capt Jeff S.
We love to give the Coast Guard crap, but truth be told, they are on the pointy end of the spear too, and even when there is relative peace, they are out on our coasts dealing with the drug traffickers and human smugglers. They do see action... You just don't read or hear about it because heaven forbid we mention that this country has a problem with ILLEGAL immigration or an appetite for drugs! PLUS! even though the Coast Guard is tasked to defend our shores, they also get tasked to support Naval Operations and were in Theater during Desert Storm. It's all in fun, but I think sometimes we poke fun out of our own ignorance. I have a lot of respect for our brothers in the Coast Guard.
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Capt Jeff S.
True story about a Coast Guard guy in flight school who thought he'd try to pysch out the Marine he was scheduled to fight in Boxing (me), which was part of the Navy’s Flight School curriculum at NAS Pensacola.
In Navy Flight School, a week of training is devoted to Boxing. Seems kind of strange, but the purpose of having Boxing in the flight program, ostensibly, is to see how students react to stress -- the kind of stress that adapts and reacts to what you do in order to keep putting more stress on you and prevail. Personally, I believe they didn’t want to graduate sissy pilots. When you get to the end of Boxing Week and it’s time for matches, you get to see who’s who and you also see some crazy $h14! ; )
So this Coast Guard guy finds out he is scheduled to box me and before the match he comes up and says, "You know what? This fight is going to be two hits...” I looked at him quizzically, and he added, “Me hitting you and you hitting the deck." That got my attention as he was 4” taller than me and had a definite reach advantage, but I didn’t want to let on that he raised my concerns, so I just looked at him and said, "Okay." and pretty much ignored him. He found that an odd response from a Marine and followed it up with, "Well, aren't you going to say anything?!!" And I just looked up at him and casually said, "I wear a size 10 and wouldn't want to have to eat that... and your feet are bigger."
LOL, now I was in his head, but he did have me concerned. I wanted no part of his long reach and I didn’t know how hard he could hit. Up until the point he came up to me talking his $h14, I had planned on coming out a little slower and feeling him out, but after hearing him say what he did about the match being two hits, I knew exactly what I had to do…
The fight was scheduled for 2 x 1 min. rounds and my cardio was through the roof. I knew from working the bags that I could go all out as fast and hard as I could the entire minute for both rounds so that became my plan. I really wasn't sure what he could do, and I didn’t want to find out.
When we entered the ring, the Coastie tried staring me down and I didn’t give him the satisfaction and just kept looking straight ahead at his chest. The instant they rang the bell, I wasted no time and sprinted those two steps in to meet him, got inside of his jab and literally right up in his face. At that point I made eye contact and had my best pissed off look on just to let him know what was coming next ; ) and proceeded to pummel the crap out of him. He never got a hit in and all he could do was cover up. . I’d work him low and he’d bend down and then I would go upstairs and stand him back up. When he covered his face with his gloves, I’d hit his gloves into his face and knock his head back. The Boxing Instructor (Capt Patenaude) started yelling at me to use what I was taught (jabs, combinations, etc.) but I was landing everything. It may have looked like a brawl but I was swinging wide and aiming those haymakers to power through his defense. Ended up knocking him through the ropes. !! Capt Patenaude motioned for them to ring the bell and they ended the first round early, with about 12 sec left on the clock.
The second round I was instructed by Capt Patenaude to not throw any punches and counter his hits. But the Coastie was so shell-shocked from the first round he just stood there looking at me and wouldn't throw a punch. He might have been afraid of me countering. Motioned for him to come on and even dropped my hands, but he still stood there looking at me from behind his gloves. Finally after watching him about 20 sec do nothing, I just started beating on him again and knocked him down. Another early bell and the match was over.
Afterward, he shook my hand and was a lot more humble guy. And being the good Marine, I kind of rubbed it in and jokingly asked him how he liked the taste of size 11. ; ) Have to give him lots of props though for being a good sport about it. He had the stones to come up and try to psych me out before the match, he took his lumps, and was able to laugh about it afterward. His plan just backfired and while he did get in my head some, it was just enough to make me more determined to not let him hit me! XD
The best defense is a good offense!
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The funniest match wasn’t mine however. It was between a Navy Officer, who you could tell never had been in a fight in his life, and a Marine who, I am embarrassed to say, probably never ever scrapped in his life either. He was from Texas and he earned the nickname “The Texas Tornado” because he just windmilled his arms like a Spazmanian Devil and walked into the Navy guy, who was trying to distract him by wiggling one hand and swinging at him with the other… sort of. Literally, it was like watching a Battling Top versus The Nuttiest Professor at the Dork Championship Finals. OMG. Those two guys had the entire class in tears.
The best match was an awesome match between the two biggest Marines in the class and they were both scrappers and knew how to hit – HAAAARD! They would have scrambled anyone else’s brains in there, myself included. I’m just thankful I wasn’t in their weight class or I’d be out on a medical retirement, looking like Stephen Hawking, and people would be wiping the drool off my chin. : D
In Navy Flight School, a week of training is devoted to Boxing. Seems kind of strange, but the purpose of having Boxing in the flight program, ostensibly, is to see how students react to stress -- the kind of stress that adapts and reacts to what you do in order to keep putting more stress on you and prevail. Personally, I believe they didn’t want to graduate sissy pilots. When you get to the end of Boxing Week and it’s time for matches, you get to see who’s who and you also see some crazy $h14! ; )
So this Coast Guard guy finds out he is scheduled to box me and before the match he comes up and says, "You know what? This fight is going to be two hits...” I looked at him quizzically, and he added, “Me hitting you and you hitting the deck." That got my attention as he was 4” taller than me and had a definite reach advantage, but I didn’t want to let on that he raised my concerns, so I just looked at him and said, "Okay." and pretty much ignored him. He found that an odd response from a Marine and followed it up with, "Well, aren't you going to say anything?!!" And I just looked up at him and casually said, "I wear a size 10 and wouldn't want to have to eat that... and your feet are bigger."
LOL, now I was in his head, but he did have me concerned. I wanted no part of his long reach and I didn’t know how hard he could hit. Up until the point he came up to me talking his $h14, I had planned on coming out a little slower and feeling him out, but after hearing him say what he did about the match being two hits, I knew exactly what I had to do…
The fight was scheduled for 2 x 1 min. rounds and my cardio was through the roof. I knew from working the bags that I could go all out as fast and hard as I could the entire minute for both rounds so that became my plan. I really wasn't sure what he could do, and I didn’t want to find out.
When we entered the ring, the Coastie tried staring me down and I didn’t give him the satisfaction and just kept looking straight ahead at his chest. The instant they rang the bell, I wasted no time and sprinted those two steps in to meet him, got inside of his jab and literally right up in his face. At that point I made eye contact and had my best pissed off look on just to let him know what was coming next ; ) and proceeded to pummel the crap out of him. He never got a hit in and all he could do was cover up. . I’d work him low and he’d bend down and then I would go upstairs and stand him back up. When he covered his face with his gloves, I’d hit his gloves into his face and knock his head back. The Boxing Instructor (Capt Patenaude) started yelling at me to use what I was taught (jabs, combinations, etc.) but I was landing everything. It may have looked like a brawl but I was swinging wide and aiming those haymakers to power through his defense. Ended up knocking him through the ropes. !! Capt Patenaude motioned for them to ring the bell and they ended the first round early, with about 12 sec left on the clock.
The second round I was instructed by Capt Patenaude to not throw any punches and counter his hits. But the Coastie was so shell-shocked from the first round he just stood there looking at me and wouldn't throw a punch. He might have been afraid of me countering. Motioned for him to come on and even dropped my hands, but he still stood there looking at me from behind his gloves. Finally after watching him about 20 sec do nothing, I just started beating on him again and knocked him down. Another early bell and the match was over.
Afterward, he shook my hand and was a lot more humble guy. And being the good Marine, I kind of rubbed it in and jokingly asked him how he liked the taste of size 11. ; ) Have to give him lots of props though for being a good sport about it. He had the stones to come up and try to psych me out before the match, he took his lumps, and was able to laugh about it afterward. His plan just backfired and while he did get in my head some, it was just enough to make me more determined to not let him hit me! XD
The best defense is a good offense!
----------------------------------------------------------------
The funniest match wasn’t mine however. It was between a Navy Officer, who you could tell never had been in a fight in his life, and a Marine who, I am embarrassed to say, probably never ever scrapped in his life either. He was from Texas and he earned the nickname “The Texas Tornado” because he just windmilled his arms like a Spazmanian Devil and walked into the Navy guy, who was trying to distract him by wiggling one hand and swinging at him with the other… sort of. Literally, it was like watching a Battling Top versus The Nuttiest Professor at the Dork Championship Finals. OMG. Those two guys had the entire class in tears.
The best match was an awesome match between the two biggest Marines in the class and they were both scrappers and knew how to hit – HAAAARD! They would have scrambled anyone else’s brains in there, myself included. I’m just thankful I wasn’t in their weight class or I’d be out on a medical retirement, looking like Stephen Hawking, and people would be wiping the drool off my chin. : D
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