Posted on Oct 4, 2015
I went to the Chow Hall this morning, left pretty pissed off. Would you do the same thing I did?
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My spouse and I went to the gym this morning and had a great workout. After my shower, I went to the DFAC for Sunday morning brunch. spending time with the Soldiers as well as chow was great.
We noticed a couple (probably in early-mid forties) sitting at the next table with three young children (ages estimated at 6, 8, 9)....the children were running all over the place - not being watched or corrected by the either parent....looked like they had been there for quite some time as well because there was food, wrappers, plates all over the place.
I noticed the children playing around the area fallen hero table so I approached the father, I thought I was very restrained - here's what happened:
Me: Sir, do you know what this table is here for?
His reply: "roger, I know the meaning".
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
(the children were still running around.....now the youngest was pulling at the fallen hero table cloth)
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
Me: Sir, do you truly understand the importance of this display, and understand what it exactly means to all of us within this community?
Reply: Yes
Me: Sir, please get your children under control!
At that point, he grabbed his son and put the child over his shoulder and walked with him back to the table and then turned him lose & let him go back to "roaming" all around the DFAC....next to the stoves and all the other appliances (in the back) which are not so kid friendly!
How would you have handled the situation? Directly? Indirectly (thru the DFAC manager? Ignored the situation completely, (it aint my business).
We noticed a couple (probably in early-mid forties) sitting at the next table with three young children (ages estimated at 6, 8, 9)....the children were running all over the place - not being watched or corrected by the either parent....looked like they had been there for quite some time as well because there was food, wrappers, plates all over the place.
I noticed the children playing around the area fallen hero table so I approached the father, I thought I was very restrained - here's what happened:
Me: Sir, do you know what this table is here for?
His reply: "roger, I know the meaning".
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
(the children were still running around.....now the youngest was pulling at the fallen hero table cloth)
Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.
Me: Sir, do you truly understand the importance of this display, and understand what it exactly means to all of us within this community?
Reply: Yes
Me: Sir, please get your children under control!
At that point, he grabbed his son and put the child over his shoulder and walked with him back to the table and then turned him lose & let him go back to "roaming" all around the DFAC....next to the stoves and all the other appliances (in the back) which are not so kid friendly!
How would you have handled the situation? Directly? Indirectly (thru the DFAC manager? Ignored the situation completely, (it aint my business).
Fallen Soldiers
Respect
Disrespect
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 100
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CSM Michael J. Uhlig,
This is hypothetical of course because placed in the same situation I may have acted differently in the heat of the moment, but I would have said, with as much tact as humanly possible under the circumstances "Excuse me sir, may I have a word with you away from your family?" (Once alone) "Sir, my name is MSG Jimmy Robinson, how are you doing, sir." (hopefully at this point he gives me his rank and name) if so I explain the situation and tell him to get his children in line. (I would also make sure to get his commanders name and unit) If he does not tell me who he is I would ask for his unit and commanders information and ensure I contact them straight away. However, having said all of this as an “arm chair quarterback”, SGM, I would have probably done pretty much the same thing if one of his children actually touched the table. There is no place for that level of disrespect to our fallen brothers and sisters.
This is hypothetical of course because placed in the same situation I may have acted differently in the heat of the moment, but I would have said, with as much tact as humanly possible under the circumstances "Excuse me sir, may I have a word with you away from your family?" (Once alone) "Sir, my name is MSG Jimmy Robinson, how are you doing, sir." (hopefully at this point he gives me his rank and name) if so I explain the situation and tell him to get his children in line. (I would also make sure to get his commanders name and unit) If he does not tell me who he is I would ask for his unit and commanders information and ensure I contact them straight away. However, having said all of this as an “arm chair quarterback”, SGM, I would have probably done pretty much the same thing if one of his children actually touched the table. There is no place for that level of disrespect to our fallen brothers and sisters.
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LTC Ray B. (Ret)
Nicer than I would have experienced when I was enlisted. I am old school from my experience as enlisted I was use to NCOs, 1SG, CSM etc fixing sh....t. Would have been simple in my day, CSM would have just said soldier fix that now. 1SG would have said soldier fix that now. My first line leader would have said fix it now. Off line they would have smoked my ass.
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SGM (Join to see)
MAJ Ray B, as I said, sir, in the heat of the moment I may have acted differently, especially ifthe child grabbed the table cloth, action first in that situation, respect of persons second, sir.
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SSG John Mitchell
LTC Ray B. (Ret) - You know damn good and well that there a lot of sand pits being neglected now a days. I left in '08 and we weren't allowed to smoke anyone. No matter what the screw up. It was all "put it on paper" which got round filed as soon as the Soldier went to another Unit. That shit didn't work then and with the kids that I see today I know damn good and well it won't work now. A simple little smoke session would do wonders for attitudes. Not to mention PT scores.
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So listen high speed, Since you have lost your Military Bearing, and seem to believe you are in a Burger King with a ball pit, let me help you out. Just give me your unit of assignment, and i will personally call your CSM and request he come help you by baby sitting your children whilst you and your assumed spouse have a conversation. Or you can properly correct the situation in place on your own. Your choice.
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SGT (Join to see)
I'd have just called the MPs had them escorted out for disturbing the peace, asked for his ID card, written his information down and had him banned from chow halls on post during non duty hours.
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CSM with all due respect, you did the right thing, and the fact you held your bearing speaks for you. The DFAC manager, or that (if he was a Soldier's) BDE/BN CSM would've gotten a phone call. If you find out he's one of yours directly, life would be very interesting or him and his NCO Support channel for awhile. When his PSG finds out... this is exactly what he's be thinking.
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Properly done. I'd have gotten the DFAC manager involved also. Possible accident waiting to happen there.
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CW3 Eric W. S.
Sounds like the kid was already an accident. There is absolutely no reason to have that type of behavior, particularly in a public place.
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SPC John Lebiecki
A great point to also bring up is by having the DFAC manager involved with, you eliminate the concept of "he said/she said"
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I would have done the same thing and, then, when no positive action was taken by the parents, gotten the DFAC Manager involved. My dealings then would have ben with the manager (and his/her supervisor) if he/she failed to control the situation. Like you, it would not be in me to simply walk off and ignore it. It would have been resolved, one way or other, before I left (or the family left).
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Soldier dining facility as family restaurant? Granted, I've been out for awhile, but... My only experience in Grafenwoehr was for field training and to conduct interviews with a 2d Cav trooper (when I was an IG). I don't know what facilities are available for permanent party families. Nonetheless, in my experience, sponsors (military members) are responsible for the behavior of their family members or guests in post facilities. Good behavior and decorum are expected at all times.
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I am actually appalled that the DFAC staff didn't intervene. I would of said something, to the family and to the DFAC manager. My children are aware of all the customs in the military and I would NEVER allow them to be disruptive in the DFAC (or any other place for that matter). I can't tell you how many times I have witnessed small children running around post unsupervised...it is a shame actually.
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TSgt (Join to see)
So I can only speak for RAF Lakenheath; my wife and I occasionally go there with my son; it's my wife's favorite place to eat on base (weird, I know), and my son is still in high-chair status. We NEVER see DFAC staff save for the ones working the line, and the seating area is out of their view. We can eat our entire meal without seeing one member of staff come out, unless it's very busy, in which case we might see one or two people taking the dirty trays out. We did have one occasion where my son vomited on the floor near the entrance. I went to the line and requested someone bring some paper towels, they said they could not leave their stations. So I ended up having to get a whole bunch of napkins from the tables in the dining area and cleaning it up that way.
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Sounds as if you were indeed very restrained. Thankfully the kids didn't get hurt.
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You did the right thing, even if the soldier again followed up with poor decision making.
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SSgt (Join to see)
LTC John Shaw A family represents the service as much as the service member. If I were to do a base orientation I would mention this kind of thing and then the Service Member would initial the Orientation checklist. lol
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CSM, to be perfectly honest, I think you handled it as tactically and professionally as you could. But based on the after events of said child being "corrected" and let loose, I would have taken it up with DFAC management, for one children have no business in every nook and cranny of the establishment, it's a safety issue whether it be hot stoves and equipment, employees moving food and not seeing the children underfoot, the possibilities are limitless. If the parent happened to be a military sponsor I would have asked for ID card, Unit, and phone numbers of the 1SG, and SGM in that Soldier's command. General military authority charges us as an NCO Corps to correct deficiencies that could lead to loss of good order and discipline, and I believe if this was in fact a Soldier with his family and not controlling his children that it would fall in that realm. Also I'm pretty certain that if one of the children were to have been injured the first persons crying foul would have been the parents. Just my .02 of a dollar
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