Posted on May 5, 2015
Is leaving the military like experiencing a death in the family?
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I heard a story this weekend on NPR about separations - from the military, divorce, etc. The narrator maintained that leaving the military when one's hitch is up, or returning from a deployment and going our separate ways, is the death of a special bond we had with our comrades in arms, and we experience some parts of the grieving process that follow an actual death.
I didn't experience this feeling when I left the military - I think - because I continued to serve and work with my Army colleagues as a DA civilian. I do remember, however, missing the camaraderie and closeness of my first assignment with the 82nd Airborne Division. We were a very close team, squad, platoon, and even company. Our leaders built esprit de corps and unit cohesion like I have not experienced since. I did "grieve" a little and miss those guys a lot.
Veterans, did you find this to be the case when you left the military? Others, did you feel this when you left a particularly close-knit unit? Or a close circle of military friends? Do you think this is valid? Or is it bunk and psychobabble?
I didn't experience this feeling when I left the military - I think - because I continued to serve and work with my Army colleagues as a DA civilian. I do remember, however, missing the camaraderie and closeness of my first assignment with the 82nd Airborne Division. We were a very close team, squad, platoon, and even company. Our leaders built esprit de corps and unit cohesion like I have not experienced since. I did "grieve" a little and miss those guys a lot.
Veterans, did you find this to be the case when you left the military? Others, did you feel this when you left a particularly close-knit unit? Or a close circle of military friends? Do you think this is valid? Or is it bunk and psychobabble?
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Death
Camaraderie
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Serving in various different capacity's [regular Army enlisted and commissioned from 1974 - 1992]; unpaid reserve drill status [1992 - 9/10/2001] mobilized reserve status [10/2001 -05/2004] and paid reserve drill status [06/2004 - 05/2008]; I worked for, with and over thousands of soldiers. Some I knew for days while others I knew for decades. Bonds formed under stress and honed over long periods of boredom punctuated with additional stress. I felt like I died twice - first when I was involuntarily separated in October 1992 and the second time when I transferred from the active rolls to the retired reserve rolls in May 2008 and was told I was not required or authorized to out-process from the military I had dedicated most of my adult life to.
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LTC Stephen F.
CW5 Scott Montgomery, thank you for asking a great question - both poignant and timely.
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More like overcoming an addiction, you have the urge to relapse every so often.
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I had the opportunity to take a civil service job in my last unit. I couldn't do it. As much as I missed the military and the people I worked with I knew I could bare to watch them deploy, or any other sacrifice or hardship I'd be there to witness. Then I found the first 2 jobs I took in the civilian world were so far from measuring up to the military that I walked out on the positions. After a few years I settled down in my expectations.
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It's a real deal. That's what makes RP such a great thing. However, I found an even closer bond with the church within Christ.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. -Proverbs 18:24
Here's the best part, Jesus will made a promise to never leave those that keep there eyes on him. He is our point man.
...and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen. -Matthew 28:20
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. -Proverbs 18:24
Here's the best part, Jesus will made a promise to never leave those that keep there eyes on him. He is our point man.
...and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen. -Matthew 28:20
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I transitioned well, but I came into the military late and had experiences in corporate America before enlisting. Just another change for me.
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I too have been working as a USN civilian since leaving the service. All of my co-workers are also former Navy or Army.
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CW5 (Join to see)
That's what made my transition easy (or easier), I think at least, PO1 Michael Fullmer.
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A friend of a friend told me about a job before I retired, I applied and started working a couple days after terminal leave started. Polo shirts and slacks instead of BDU's and I only had to look after myself... it was on a help desk and that job helped me finish my degree which opened new doors. I don't think I really slowed down long enough to think about it and now it's been almost 12 years. Working as a contractor also helped a lot, in a way I still get to look out for soldiers and that is extremely gratifying.
I also believe it helped a lot that I was only 38 when I retired. I knew I had another 30 years of working, after my 20 years in the Army.
I also believe it helped a lot that I was only 38 when I retired. I knew I had another 30 years of working, after my 20 years in the Army.
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Yes, because it's a loss of a lifestyle. A community, a bond. Veteran status isn't the same, and being a full civilian is even more difficult. I see it a lot at work, as I help Soldiers transition out....
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IDK if it would be a like a death in the family to leave the military, but is scares the hell outa me. No way. I'm going until the wheels fall off. Then I might retire.
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