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The value of an Officer VS a NCO
A 2LT was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of shit. Curious, the 2LT walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of shit?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The 2LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of shit, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SG. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of shit, was asked by the 1SG "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SG. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough shit to build an officer"
A 2LT was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of shit. Curious, the 2LT walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of shit?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The 2LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of shit, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SG. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of shit, was asked by the 1SG "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SG. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough shit to build an officer"
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Humor
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 112
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A parable to meditate on in our politically correct society
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town
The boy rode on the donkey, and the old man walked.
As they went along they passed some people who remarked "What a shame, the old man is walking, the boy is riding."
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later they passed some people who remarked "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk".
So they decided they'd both walk.
Soon they passed some more people who remarked "They're really stupid to walk when they have a decent donkey to ride."
So they both decided to ride the donkey.
They passed some people who shamed them by saying "How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey."
The boy and the man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.
As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the donkey, the donkey fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story: If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass goodbye.
Have a nice day!!!!!
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town
The boy rode on the donkey, and the old man walked.
As they went along they passed some people who remarked "What a shame, the old man is walking, the boy is riding."
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later they passed some people who remarked "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk".
So they decided they'd both walk.
Soon they passed some more people who remarked "They're really stupid to walk when they have a decent donkey to ride."
So they both decided to ride the donkey.
They passed some people who shamed them by saying "How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey."
The boy and the man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.
As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the donkey, the donkey fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story: If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass goodbye.
Have a nice day!!!!!
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Now just think about this? It may save your life!
A Male Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles, and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women, and hunted and fished and raced cars, and went to naked bars, and dated ladies half his age, and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan, and never heard bitching, and never paid child support or alimony, and banged cheerleaders, and kept his house and guns, and ate spam and potato chips and beans, and blew enormous farts, and never got cheated on while he was at work, and all his friends and family thought he was frikin' cool as hell, and he had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up.
The End
A Male Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles, and dated skinny long-legged full-breasted women, and hunted and fished and raced cars, and went to naked bars, and dated ladies half his age, and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan, and never heard bitching, and never paid child support or alimony, and banged cheerleaders, and kept his house and guns, and ate spam and potato chips and beans, and blew enormous farts, and never got cheated on while he was at work, and all his friends and family thought he was frikin' cool as hell, and he had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up.
The End
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MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht
Yep, and when he is 80+, can't drink, bang anything, can't see, hear or walk worth a crap. WHERE IS EVERYBODY?? LOL
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Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York
to talk about the world.
After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth” he says.
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions:
First - Whatever happened in Benghazi?
Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? And,
Third - Whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?”
Just then the bell rings for recess.
Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we?
Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
A different boy, little Johnny puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is. "Johnny” he says.
"And what is your question, Johnny?"
I have five questions:
First - Whatever happened in Benghazi?
Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - Whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?
Fourth - Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And, Fifth - Where's Kenneth?
to talk about the world.
After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth” he says.
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions:
First - Whatever happened in Benghazi?
Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? And,
Third - Whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?”
Just then the bell rings for recess.
Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we?
Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
A different boy, little Johnny puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is. "Johnny” he says.
"And what is your question, Johnny?"
I have five questions:
First - Whatever happened in Benghazi?
Second - Why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - Whatever happened to the missing 6 billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?
Fourth - Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And, Fifth - Where's Kenneth?
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MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht
Heck guys, I went for implants. maybe finish up by Christmas. On my own mind you.
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MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht
Hillary, a Priest and Rabbi were on a small plane when The pilot said we are running out of fuel and we have to bail out. There are only 3 chutes so, you have to choose who uses them. Hillary says I am an important woman and am running for President. She grabs one and jumps out. The Rabbi says he has to tend to his flock so he grabs one and bails out. The priest tells the pilot that he is an old man and is ready to meet the Lord.The pilot says, don't worry Father,we still have two chutes. The smartest woman on earth just jumped out with my backpack!!
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Two elderly gentlemen are sitting in a small boat, under a bridge, fishing. As the morning passes, a few words are exchanged, but mostly they just quietly fish.
Bob, the elder of the two, happens to glance up and sees a funeral procession passing overhead on the bridge, so he sets his pole in the holder, stands, removes his hat, and places it over his heart. After the procession passes he puts his hat back on, picks up his pole, and without a word, resumes fishing.
Joe, completely bewildered, says "Bob, that was touching. What made you stand and show such respect for that funeral procession?"
Bob looks at Joe for a long moment and says "Well...I was married to her for 41 years. I figured I owed her at least that."
Bob, the elder of the two, happens to glance up and sees a funeral procession passing overhead on the bridge, so he sets his pole in the holder, stands, removes his hat, and places it over his heart. After the procession passes he puts his hat back on, picks up his pole, and without a word, resumes fishing.
Joe, completely bewildered, says "Bob, that was touching. What made you stand and show such respect for that funeral procession?"
Bob looks at Joe for a long moment and says "Well...I was married to her for 41 years. I figured I owed her at least that."
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A woman asked an old Sergeant in the army the last time he made love to a woman...
The Sergeant stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the Sergeant afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956...". The Sergeant looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2145 now!"
The Sergeant stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the Sergeant afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956...". The Sergeant looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2145 now!"
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The Art Collector's Wife
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client, "Saul, I have some good news and, I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right."
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you with your secretary."
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client, "Saul, I have some good news and, I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right."
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you with your secretary."
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MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht
Ha Ha. Three dudes get killed in a crash and go to heaven. St Peter said, " I do not have enough room right now, so I will give each of you a 90 day pass to return to earth as anything you want." The first guy says, I want to be an eagle so I can soar over all the mighty mountains. Granted, said St Peter. The second guy said. I want to be a Great White so I can swim all the might oceans. Granted, said St Peter. The third guy said, I want to be a STUD. Granted. 90 days pass and St Peter summonds 3 of his Angles to get these guys. He told the first Angle his man would be flying somewhere over the mountains. He told the second angle his man would be in one of the mighty oceans. He told the 3rd Angle, I DON'T REMEMBER WHICH LUMBAR YARD I PUT HIM IN. LOL
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Airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening flight from Glasgow, the lead flight attendant for the cabin crew nervously made the following painful announcement..: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up one minute prior to takeoff, by our airport catering service... I don't know how this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and, unfortunately, only 40 dinner meals... I truly apologise for this mistake and inconvenience."
When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued.. , "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight."
Her next announcement came 90 minutes later... "If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."
What da ya expect from the Scotts!
When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued.. , "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight."
Her next announcement came 90 minutes later... "If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."
What da ya expect from the Scotts!
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Now this is a real good one! Now come on, if The Donald did have a cat, what do you think?
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