Posted on May 24, 2014
Just a little blog post I put together; comments welcomed and appreciated.
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Memorial Day weekend is always a rough one for me; for many different reasons. I have dear friends who were killed in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, I have even more friends who wear hurt and mangled in many ways in those same wars ...and lord knows that isn't all. I myself have suffered great deals of pain from injuries sustained in regards to my service to this wonderful country. That isn't what bothers me every year around this time, or any other time that I really think about my fallen brothers or those I had the amazing opportunity to meet and befriend at Walter Reed (both the old and new one).
What gets me is that every time around Memorial Day, when I think of the fine men, I always feel insufficient; like my job isn't, or wasn't done. I occasionally have conversations with folks about if it is possible for me to ever be has happy with anything (mostly my career and work like), the way I was while in the Marine Corps? Some say that it is a matter of finding what makes one happy, but what if that something was the Marines for me? The feeling of being a part of something bigger than yourself, bigger than the Corps itself; something that was globally recognized as awesome and held all kinds of history and traditions that have an even deeper meaning, and affect on the Marines that make the Corps.
I don't know that I will ever find something that gives me the same happiness that putting that uniform on everyday and spending countless hours, upon days and years, with those men, and having a feeling of brotherhood that only we Marines will ever understand did. Nor do I believe that I will ever be okay with my career ending the way it did; having so many years wasted and spent in a hospital or physical therapy room. I guess as grandma use to say, "never ask why about things you'll never be able to answer; just accept it and make the best out of it." Although, please forgive me, because when you loose something as precious as the men you served with, took showers with, ate with, and at times, knew them better than you knew your own family or even yourself, it just isn't that easy. Moreover, I think it is safe to say that most 18-25 year old people really don't know what they want to do when they "grow-up," whenever that may be. For me, I knew from a very young age that I was meant to be in the military - it is just what we do in my family. Leaders are not made, molded or trained; they are born. I simply cannot be okay with loosing my brothers or my career.
Earlier today I watched a TED talk given by a former Army officer, and what he said blew my mind. During his service to our country, even while serving, he didn't truly understand what it meant to receive or tell someone "Thank you for your service." I thought about this for a moment, and came to the conclusion that not many people do. A few years ago - which most will call me rude for this - I actually told some teenage kid not to thank me for something he did not understand. I wasn't trying to be rude, I even explained to him what I meant; although, I'm not sure he understood. Every Memorial Day I hear people telling me "thank you for your service" and various other kind phrases. These are phrases in which they are simply trying to show some amount of thanks ...but for what? My service ...Rusty's service ...Szwydek's service? Or, my service to the country as a whole ...and if so, why are "you" thanking me; do you even know what I have done? I have always thought, maybe people just say "thank you for your service" because they are just acknowledging that they didn't have the courage to do it themselves. Does that come off wrong though? Nevertheless, I feel that the people that hear "thank you for your service" the most (guys like me), are the ones that should be saying it the most: to other Veterans and service members.
It wasn't until after my grandfather told me some stories about his time in Vietnam, that I really understood how the generation of war-fighters before the present one really impact the next. While deployed, I seldomly found myself thinking, "what would they have done in Vietnam, WWII, the Gulf War" in this, or that situation. The WWII generation as been dubbed the greatest generation that ever lived; and I agree. However, modern war-fighters are pretty damn amazing also ...hell, WWII G.I.s didn't have the same coward of an enemy that we do today. Why? Technology changes everything. The next generation of war-fighters will have it possibly even worse. I just hope that our country will always take the time to appreciate every generation of our country's bravest. We still have a lot of making up to do for those that served in Vietnam, and in some cases Korea.
Remember, Memorial Day has many different meanings to so many different people. Some memorialize because they still feel guilty, they feel like it should have been them, and not their buddy. Some memorialize because they lost way more than they could have ever imagined losing in such a short amount of time. Some memorialize simply because they are thankful for all the great memories that they have whether good or bad. Most importantly, some memorialize for all of those reasons combined. Memorial Day is a saddened holiday for our service members ...well, most of them anyways. Remember this as you say "thank you for your service." Take the time to hear their stories, feel their pain and emotions, and then say "thank you for your service" knowing what you are saying thank you for.
To all my Marines who I served with, thank you. To all my brothers who did not make it back, thank you most of all. Every day you knew that at some point in time, you may make the ultimate sacrifice for me, and as history will tell it, you did. To all the Gold Star Parents that I have became such amazing friends with, thank you for your sons' time, friendship, and love; all things he was so amazingly bestowed with from you.
Semper Fidelis. Keep fighting the good fight - until they all come home.
What gets me is that every time around Memorial Day, when I think of the fine men, I always feel insufficient; like my job isn't, or wasn't done. I occasionally have conversations with folks about if it is possible for me to ever be has happy with anything (mostly my career and work like), the way I was while in the Marine Corps? Some say that it is a matter of finding what makes one happy, but what if that something was the Marines for me? The feeling of being a part of something bigger than yourself, bigger than the Corps itself; something that was globally recognized as awesome and held all kinds of history and traditions that have an even deeper meaning, and affect on the Marines that make the Corps.
I don't know that I will ever find something that gives me the same happiness that putting that uniform on everyday and spending countless hours, upon days and years, with those men, and having a feeling of brotherhood that only we Marines will ever understand did. Nor do I believe that I will ever be okay with my career ending the way it did; having so many years wasted and spent in a hospital or physical therapy room. I guess as grandma use to say, "never ask why about things you'll never be able to answer; just accept it and make the best out of it." Although, please forgive me, because when you loose something as precious as the men you served with, took showers with, ate with, and at times, knew them better than you knew your own family or even yourself, it just isn't that easy. Moreover, I think it is safe to say that most 18-25 year old people really don't know what they want to do when they "grow-up," whenever that may be. For me, I knew from a very young age that I was meant to be in the military - it is just what we do in my family. Leaders are not made, molded or trained; they are born. I simply cannot be okay with loosing my brothers or my career.
Earlier today I watched a TED talk given by a former Army officer, and what he said blew my mind. During his service to our country, even while serving, he didn't truly understand what it meant to receive or tell someone "Thank you for your service." I thought about this for a moment, and came to the conclusion that not many people do. A few years ago - which most will call me rude for this - I actually told some teenage kid not to thank me for something he did not understand. I wasn't trying to be rude, I even explained to him what I meant; although, I'm not sure he understood. Every Memorial Day I hear people telling me "thank you for your service" and various other kind phrases. These are phrases in which they are simply trying to show some amount of thanks ...but for what? My service ...Rusty's service ...Szwydek's service? Or, my service to the country as a whole ...and if so, why are "you" thanking me; do you even know what I have done? I have always thought, maybe people just say "thank you for your service" because they are just acknowledging that they didn't have the courage to do it themselves. Does that come off wrong though? Nevertheless, I feel that the people that hear "thank you for your service" the most (guys like me), are the ones that should be saying it the most: to other Veterans and service members.
It wasn't until after my grandfather told me some stories about his time in Vietnam, that I really understood how the generation of war-fighters before the present one really impact the next. While deployed, I seldomly found myself thinking, "what would they have done in Vietnam, WWII, the Gulf War" in this, or that situation. The WWII generation as been dubbed the greatest generation that ever lived; and I agree. However, modern war-fighters are pretty damn amazing also ...hell, WWII G.I.s didn't have the same coward of an enemy that we do today. Why? Technology changes everything. The next generation of war-fighters will have it possibly even worse. I just hope that our country will always take the time to appreciate every generation of our country's bravest. We still have a lot of making up to do for those that served in Vietnam, and in some cases Korea.
Remember, Memorial Day has many different meanings to so many different people. Some memorialize because they still feel guilty, they feel like it should have been them, and not their buddy. Some memorialize because they lost way more than they could have ever imagined losing in such a short amount of time. Some memorialize simply because they are thankful for all the great memories that they have whether good or bad. Most importantly, some memorialize for all of those reasons combined. Memorial Day is a saddened holiday for our service members ...well, most of them anyways. Remember this as you say "thank you for your service." Take the time to hear their stories, feel their pain and emotions, and then say "thank you for your service" knowing what you are saying thank you for.
To all my Marines who I served with, thank you. To all my brothers who did not make it back, thank you most of all. Every day you knew that at some point in time, you may make the ultimate sacrifice for me, and as history will tell it, you did. To all the Gold Star Parents that I have became such amazing friends with, thank you for your sons' time, friendship, and love; all things he was so amazingly bestowed with from you.
Semper Fidelis. Keep fighting the good fight - until they all come home.
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It is like I have been told time and again, you did your job. You came home, yes you lost brother in arms but you did your best to keep them safe. As long as you have their memories with you they are still alive in you. We are part and parcel of each and every person we come into contact with in our lives. Sadly I don't think this country will ever bring them all home. It is a good dream, but as long as we consider ourselves the world's babysitters that will never happen. Hang in there. Oh, and one more thing, your life was/is not wasted. You served your country be proud of that. I am. I am also thankful for people like you who walked the walk. Thank you for all that you have done for this great country we call home. God bless and Semper Fi Marine.
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