Most memorable private/cherries prank!

I'm starting to think I shouldn't have sent my ex-wife for some ID-10-T forms.

The best one we pulled was when we had a new LT go looking for a BFA for the 25mm Bushmaster chain gun. The guy went to the armory, then to the company for a requisition form, then back to the armory where the whole PLT was laughing our butts off. He was not impressed, and didn't have a sense of humor. We spent a lot of time with that turd around until he finally left. No one was sad to see him go.

Private or WOJG, go get me a box of grid squares from supply.

I was a Military Police Officer in Japan at Camp Zama, when we received a new PVT named Alexander. He was a very tall, lanky built Soldier who had a college degree, but not a lot of street smarts about him. One night I decided to have the Desk Sergeant call him on the radio to look behind the PX because there were complaints of loud screaming. I met him at the front of the PX and told him to go the opposite direction of me and search the back side and all dumpsters and we would meet in the middle. The young fellow at 4 am, used his flashlight to walk around the building, I never used a flashlight to remain dark adapted, so when he got to the dumpster, he peered inside to find bloodied legs and arms and started screaming himself. Thing was we were laughing our asses off cause we had placed a mannequin inside the dumpster of one of the women from inside the store and put it in the trash bloodied up, he swore it was real as he ran past us. That was one of Alexanders experiences, there are more, but I have to try and stop laughing as I type this, that was 26 years ago and I can still see it today!

In Security Forces, we called both the new folks and the pranks we played on them "Jeeps."

There were the old classics like:
- Going to MOC (Maintenance Operations Center) to get keys to the F-16s
- Going to vehicle dispatch to get keys to the HMMWV
- Finding amounts of propwash or jetwash (I hear this was a maintenance one too)
- 40 feet of flight line
- Going to the clinic to get fallopian tubes

But the three best I remember were these:
- In the weapons storage area, breaking open a chemical glowstick and pour it on the ground near the opening of a storage structure, then having the new guy respond to the structure as an exercise. They had one guy down to his underwear telling them he'd been contaminated with radiation (which they detected with the metal detector wand).
- Having the new guy respond to one side of a two-sided structure (requiring two teams to respond), while the other team shouts "Help, I'm trapped in here!" through the vent on the other side.

When I was stationed in Aviano, they had one of the K9 guys do a training video on how to properly take air samples outside of the kennel...with a breast pump.

The metric crescent wrench.

Last summer at AT up in Ft Drum, we were in the field and as a maintenance soldiers we love to play pmcs pranks.. we gave our 92G some big clear trash bags and told eveyone to collect exhaust samples.. we went out on a recovery and they were all tagged signed and in a corner..Top came over and just shook his head laughing

I have two. One was flat out hazing back then. We would get the Cherries fresh out of jump school. Throw them in their fart sack. Tie their feet up in the HPT lowering line. Secure the load and hang them out the window.

We had a butter bar XO. One of the gun chiefs had him go to supply to sign for the howitzer blank adapter. Supply shy told him it was up at BN HQ. XO got into a argument with CSM about it. He was sweating, red and walking faster than anyone I've ever seen when he came down to the gun line in the motor pool. We were hysterical when we heard him chew SSG .... Out. LMAO

We had a new top who came into our unit.  His greatest attribute was kissing up to the CO.  He did not do a whole lot of work.  Some of our guys got fed up and put a gold brick on his desk.  He came in to me after he arrived the next morning and asked what a gold brick was doing on his desk.  I told him it was a singular honor to select people.  He was impressed and put it on the shelf.

We had a 2LT that even the XO couldn't stand.  One day he comes running down and yelling for me to call CID, that he had a drug bust he was making.  I informed him that company commanders really do not like CID in their AO's.  He then told me he was acting company commander and had that authority.  I reminded him that he was the OIC, and that it took an order to make him acting CO.  Then he ordered me to call-and when I finally agreed and picked up the phone, he froze and asked why I was now calling them?