Posted on Jan 28, 2020
My recruiter is pressuring me to do something I’m not comfortable with, how can I go about this?
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This a bit of a long backstory but I really need some advice. My husband was in the Marines and finished his four year contract last year. We have a two year old boy and I always wanted to join the military but I didn’t believe it was possible due to finally settling in for the first time with my husband and both of us attending school. I decided to join the reserves because not only would I be able to finally join and do my part as much as I could but also go to college and receive my degree. My husband and I finally met with a navy recruiter and everything seems to go smoothly, I passed the pre asvab and we initially started the paperwork for me to go to meps. Fast forward a few weeks later I finally go to meps, I passed my medical and asvab and was waiting to choose my job and swear In that day until my recruiter mentioned that there were 0 jobs available for me and saidI have two options, I can either swear in with an active duty contract and once a reserve job opens I can switch back to reserve and that would be it. Option 2 he said that I can simply wait for a reserve job opening and it shouldn’t take long because so many people back out or new jobs open up and I shouldn’t worry about that. I decided I’d wait because I did not feel comfortable swearing in active. Fast forward two weeks later he texts me saying a heads up that reserve jobs might open Friday and I said great. A few days later he sends a message telling me I should really switch the contract temporarily to active and he and his supervisors promise me I will not leave active, I proceed to say I’m not comfortable with the idea I’d much rather wait and he starts escalating with me saying he can even talk with me and my husband if that’s the case and I simply decline over the idea and then says to me “I’m not in the business of screwing people over” and “I don’t make promises I can’t keep. Just letting you know.” It surprised me because not only did he mention he hates his recruiting duty and he can’t wait to leave to do his actual job, but he also said to my husband a few weeks before that he hates promising things to people. My recruiter then said he scheduled me for meps to do the contract and I told him I wasn’t comfortable then he replied “Alright then, my supervisor will probably give you a call because I already scheduled.” I proceed to get mad of how this even occurred and how he scheduled me in within the 10 minutes or less of speaking with him. My husband advised me to not respond to any of that or else he’s only going to push more. Supervisor then calls me but I couldn’t answer due to being in class and that was that for that day. The following day the recruiter sends another text saying “did my boss give you a call?” “Also good morning” I was baffled that he still didn’t realize the problem I was placed in and still seems like he is making me speak to his supervisor to pressure me. Is there anything I can do? I still have not responded, I don’t feel comfortable even going back to the recruiting station because they are all in this pressure I’m being placed in. Is there a way to ignore it for him to realize I haven’t fallen into this pressure? Or should I try a different recruiter? I had told him previously that I’m not picky with my reserve job either so I don’t feel like I’m causing a problem, he just wants me to switch to temporary active duty and swear in active but I don’t want to do it.
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 39
Block both numbers and never visit them again. Find a new recruiter. As others have mentioned, you don’t owe them a damn thing.
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Ella Diaz
You are right, they made me feel like I owed it to them but I really don’t, my only worry is that they will give me a bad rep telling other recruiters that I was being picky but I really wasn’t.
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1LT (Join to see)
Ella Diaz
Even if they try, it won’t matter. Recruiting is a numbers game. Another station will be happy to have you.
Even if they try, it won’t matter. Recruiting is a numbers game. Another station will be happy to have you.
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Don’t sign an active contract unless you want to be active. You can try a different branch of reserves or guard.
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Very simple... if you are uncomfortable, don't sign. Run, don't walk to another recruiter. Sounds like this one is trying to fill his quota. Please know that this is not how the military normally works. Unfortunately, some, not all, recruiters are not much different than used car salesmen.
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Ella Diaz
I’m going to try my best to find a recruiter a little bit further than my area, I just don’t think it’s right to feel threatened with the things he’s telling me and for him to have backups doing it too by calling me
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LT Brad McInnis
Ella Diaz - It isn't right. You should always be allowed time and space to make a decision. Since it is the end of the month, they are probably hurting badly for numbers and that seems to be when more of these games shwo up. BTW, I am not, nor have I ever been a recruiter, just heard a lot of stories from my sailors over the years.
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Do not take an active duty contact if you want to be in the reserves. It is VERY difficult to get an active duty contract nullified. Your unit would likely fight any attempt to transfer to the reserves before a contract is up. I suggest joining a different service.
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Having served 3 years as a recruiter I can tell you that they are under tremendous pressure to make their contracting and shipping numbers. What I believe is happening is that the station will get more "points" for contracting an active contract than they would a reserve contract.
Simply ask him to put it in writing that he will change your contract to reserves prior to shipping.
Simply ask him to put it in writing that he will change your contract to reserves prior to shipping.
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LTC (Join to see)
exactly. they get more points for active contracts. You know he's full of crap when he said there were no openings in the reserves. There are always openings in the reserves. they may not be in the MOS you really want and the unit may be 60-70 miles away but there are openings.
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My suggestion...if it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Continue to pursue the Reserves, if that's what you'd like to do. There are other recruiters available, stick to your guns. There is no such thing as Temporary Active Duty...once you get into AD, you're in for the years you contracted for. He is pressuring you, because he needs to make quota for that month...unfortunately, that's his problem, not yours.
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The Recruiter telling you that you can switch from Active to Reserve like it's not a big deal is lieing.
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Ella Diaz
Yeah he really is making it hard for me to join considering that he’s the one who’s supposed to give me to notification to go to meps if a reserve opens up. I feel like he’s now going to take his time or not try to see if there’s any openings because I denied him and his supervisors along with the recruiters in the office
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BLUF, don't sign an active duty contract if you want to go reserves. Honestly, you haven't sworn in and owe this recruiter nothing. I would cut my loses at this point and inform him that either he puts you in a reserve position, or you will terminate your contacts with him, and look elsewhere.
The nice thing about the position you are in is that you have no commitment, no obligation. You are actually bargaining from a position of strength. Don't be afraid to walk away, there are not only other recruiters, but other branches. You could even consider a guard position with either the Army or Air National Guard. This recruiter is obviously not cut out to do the job...
The nice thing about the position you are in is that you have no commitment, no obligation. You are actually bargaining from a position of strength. Don't be afraid to walk away, there are not only other recruiters, but other branches. You could even consider a guard position with either the Army or Air National Guard. This recruiter is obviously not cut out to do the job...
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Ella Diaz
Yeah he really isn’t, he’s said to us before that he hates the job and he can’t wait to leave his two year recruiting duty which is over in a few months to actually do his job. I didn’t think of it much before but now I realize I can’t trust him especially when he’s telling me to and that things will be “ok”
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