Should service members that commit adultery be processed for discharge and be given an OTH?

When you wrote: "I feel the military could do more, and should institute a pro-active approach to increasing successful marriages," you were on the money, but your proposed solution is way off.

First, it goes after one aspect of marriage, fidelity, that usually isn't a problem until the marriage is in trouble for other reasons (e.g., physical or emotional distance, stress, financial problems, etc.). You don't cure or prevent anything by addressing symptoms.

Second, the ramifications for adultery are already so harsh that the non-offending spouse already knows through the rumor mill NOT to report their military spouse. Better to divorce him/her in civilian court and let the military member keep the job that can pay child support, alimony, and college benefits, than to blow the whistle to military authorities. Your proposal of OTH discharge would make things worse, not better.

Third, crimes of passion - for lack of a different term - rarely are dissuaded by threatened consequences. People in a bar fight know assault is against the law, but in the moment, it doesn't enter into the decision making process. This would be no different. Additionally, people committing adultery specifically plan not to get caught. Adding more consequences for getting caught only means it is all the more important not to get caught. There's a big difference between that and not doing it in the first place.

If you truly care about military marriages, and I completely agree that there needs to be more effort focused on this, look at advocating for things like longer periods between PCSs, more real support during deployment (not dumping everything on the FRG), a closer look at how we handle the work day (could we do better at managing the work week to 40 hours?), and things like that. Looking to affix blame after the barn has burned down and the horse has run off is just pointless. It has more to do with desiring vindication than remedy. If my spouse left me for another service member, throwing the other woman out of the Army (after what probably would amount to over a year of proceedings and having my own personal life aired for the entire unit's entertainment) wouldn't do a gosh darn bit of good.

For the record, I've had a few courts-martial with adultery as a charge. Even though the civilians do not prosecute we tend to because it's prejudice to good order and discipline and/or beings discredit to the armed forces.

Unless one of the people involved admitted the act or you have film that clearly shows the act, it's hard to prove. A command only has so much time and people, an adultery task force was never one of my priorities.

No the military shouldn't. I think it is an old rule and (generally speaking) has no place in the military.

It is covered under UCMJ, it is rarely enforced. Out of my 11 years I think I saw it enforced once, and that was by a dependent, her husband was having an affair with another soldier. But, when it comes to another soldier having illicit contact with another soldiers spouse, they need to make it easier for the offended soldier to have recourse, better access to letting the command know what is happening, and try and handle this issue through channels. I know back in my day, it was near impossible, I am unsure about it now. Unfortunately, the military is a direct reflection of society, and all kinds of people cheat, or disrespect the one they marry, spouses do this as well as soldiers. Some spouses will only marry the service-member for the allotment. Hell, the first Gulf War, they made it a rule on Ft Campbell, you could not use a red light as your porch light, because so many spouses were using that as a beacon to their would be boyfriends. But, honestly it should be enforced internally, one soldier should not prey upon another soldiers family.

If we go to the origin of what is a marriage, we can see how being unfaithful to your family can lead into question your ethics and credibility for the country you promised to protect. Your word is your word, without it you are nothing. Cheating is wrong and we all know it, all know the pain it brings and how destructive it can be. I believe punishment while enlisted is appropriate and you shouldn't be allowed to cheat without serious consequences. Think of what allowing this behavior raises. A culture that finds a sense of normalcy in committing adultery. Maybe that ties into the high divorce rates. I also believe if the spouse whom is not a service member should have some more serious consequences as well. I can go on for days on how many members got cheated on while they were deployed. That's quite infuriating. I guess setting the precedent will minimize these acts and build a new bridge with members and their conduct at home. To act accordingly in all aspects of their lives, not just at work. Overall being cheated on sucks and we can at the very least agree on that. It's wrong and it hurts.

SSG LoGuidice,

I am in complete agreement.

The difficultly however, ultimately comes in proving it in legal proceedings. You essentially need photographic evidence or an admission of guilt from one of the parties to successfully prosecute adultery. I suspect that is why it's so often over-looked as opposed to prosecute.

We do have an approach to increasing successful marriages in the Army. MRT training and chaplain sponsered marriage retreats.

I would have to offer the "Keep It Simple, Stupid (KISS) response.

If you still need to mess around, don't get married.

A cheating partner SHOULD be divorced from, and left nothing. They got what they got when they ran out and got it. If they got pregnant or caught Herpes by doing so...its now their problem (and Karma?).

If there are children involved, the child support dollars should never go to the custodial parent so they can go run around some more and spend most of it on themselves. Instead, the money should go to directly pay for the materials/services needed.

Adultery should mean "Conduct Unbecoming" of a military member (doesn't have to be an Officer). I'm going to take a stab at qualifying this. When you joined you took an Oath. When you got Married, you also took an Oath. If you cause the breaking of either one, then your word means shit, thus putting into question the value of any other Oaths you've ever taken.

I think it should be punitive, but not a discharge. Id say this newly single service-member is even more "deployable". If we're talking about the service-member being guilty of Adultery...ship them away from the about-to-be-divorced spouse.

Now...when you say that the civilian cheaters don't get punished...well...that's pretty much correct. The wife of the deployable having other men over is just sickening to me and it adds to the argument they were only interested in the wedding for the military's benefits. So I don't see why the husband should have to pay for her crap. For those cases where its a Male civilian cheating while his military wife is deployed, same rules should apply.

I substituted the word Deployable for Serving, just because that's often when it happens...when they think their coasts are clear.

Though I do have to throw in something. If Marriage is "...until death do we part, remain in sickness and in health..." then when one cheats...I suspect some might argue that this falls under the "...in sickness..." bit. Cheating is a huge ball of (lacking self control), (maximum disrespect), (my wedding vow meant Jack Shit to me), etc. But I'm not sure Divorce is always the best thing for all parties involved or affected. That however doesn't mean a cheater should just be able to "play along" with counseling merely to avoid an Adultery charge.

Anyone that commits Adultry should have their genitials cauterized. At the very least a less than honorable.

I think adulty becomes more of an issue when there is fraternization as well. You don't hardly hear about it otherwise.