What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

"I couldn't stand having someone yell at me in my face, I'd punch them."

Basic wasn't that bad, then again... I have a German mother.

Not everybody is fit to be in the military. If they're not willing to do the grunt work, they're only in it for what it gets them or they refuse to recognize that every single person there is a warrior first, they shouldn't join. Every time I hear some military person decide they're conscientious objectors when it's time to do the job, after they've taken everything the military has to offer for years, I want to walk them off a cliff.

"I don't trust the government/administration."

they wouldn't take me because i'm deaf. i wear a hearing aid and with it i hear quite well but i do not have directional hearing and without it on i can't hear a damn thing.

I can't join the military because I'm not a puppet and no one tells me what to do

"I scored to high on the that test they have you take (ASVAB), so they said I was better off going to college." A great thing for a Home Depot employee to tell a Navy Nuke.

My 2 favorites are:
1. I don't want to cut my hair.
2. I don't want to wear a uniform.

I wanted to Join the army, then i took an arrow to the knee.

Why would one need an excuse? The military is not for everyone. Frankly, I served when there was a draft and people "joined" only to be able to have some control as to what branch they served in.

Some of these were very good, some, just put in their time.

I had a guy tell me that he wanted to go in, but the Marines wouldn't take him and there is no way he would have joined the Army. I f he truly wanted to serve his country he would have served in either branch.