Posted on Jan 23, 2014
What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?
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People always have some pretty colorful excuses for not joining the military. What are your favorite/ most absurd?
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Posted 12 y ago
Responses: 347
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The best line I’ve ever heard in regards to this topic was when some of my colleagues and I were getting lunch during a drill weekend. A middle-aged gentleman approached us, shook all of our hands, and thanked us for serving. He said “I almost joined the military myself...” We were all anticipating the usual lame excuses, but he threw us all for a loop when he said “...but I decided to join the Air Force instead”.
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Upon graduating recruit training I actually heard this one...."I was going to join the Air Force but my recruiter told me not to."
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People that make excuses for not joining piss me off to no end. My oldest son tried for two years to enlist but because he was honest and told the recruiter he had had childhood asthma that was an automatic disqualifier. The funniest part about that was the recruiter was missing two fingers on his right hand. Apparently you can get into the Army with 3 fingers on your shooting hand, but you can't get in if you had asthma 15 years ago.
My daughter spent 6 years in the ARNG and got out. Finished her degree and tried to get into the Navy doing intel (degree in International Politics and Russian, deployed as an intel analyst). The Navy wouldn't take her because she had lasik done while in the NG. stupidest excuse I ever heard from a recruiter. According to him, you can have lasik once you are in the Navy but if you have already had it done, even if while in another branch of service, it is a disqualifier. I would have thought she was making it up if I hadn't heard him say it myself.
My daughter spent 6 years in the ARNG and got out. Finished her degree and tried to get into the Navy doing intel (degree in International Politics and Russian, deployed as an intel analyst). The Navy wouldn't take her because she had lasik done while in the NG. stupidest excuse I ever heard from a recruiter. According to him, you can have lasik once you are in the Navy but if you have already had it done, even if while in another branch of service, it is a disqualifier. I would have thought she was making it up if I hadn't heard him say it myself.
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Responses I have gotten:
"I would have joined but I could actually get into college"
"I'm too independent for that, like if a drill instructor screamed at me I would scream right back"
"There is no way with a high school diploma I could ever join something where my less than 5% of my bosses ever completed high school"
"I would never cut my hair"
"Only way I would join is if I was drafted as a ranger or a seal or something"
All direct word for word quotes
"I would have joined but I could actually get into college"
"I'm too independent for that, like if a drill instructor screamed at me I would scream right back"
"There is no way with a high school diploma I could ever join something where my less than 5% of my bosses ever completed high school"
"I would never cut my hair"
"Only way I would join is if I was drafted as a ranger or a seal or something"
All direct word for word quotes
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