Posted on Jan 23, 2014
SSG Cannon Crew Member
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People always have some pretty colorful excuses for not joining the military. What are your favorite/ most absurd?
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Responses: 347
SSgt Jonathan Ayers
32
32
0
"I would have joined but then the wars started"<br>
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SSG Infantryman
SSG (Join to see)
10 y
That tends to weed em out...
(1)
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Cpl Daniel Sharkey
Cpl Daniel Sharkey
10 y
That's why I joined!
(1)
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SPC Sharra Schwartz
SPC Sharra Schwartz
6 y
I'm actually ok with that one, because I don't want to have to fight next to that guy. If you sign during peace time, you need to be willing to step up in war time. Gtfo.
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1LT Andrew Johnson-Schmit
1LT Andrew Johnson-Schmit
6 y
Yup. I remember when Desert Shield started and these AR troops suddenly refused to go on active with their units because they signed up for the AR with the free college and drill money and no one at all told them there was a possibility they might have to go to war. Really? Cuz I remember the possibility being mentioned once or twice in Basic.
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SSG(P) Technician
29
29
0
Them: "I can't do push-ups, so I don't think I could make it."<br>Me: "Why can't you do push-ups?"<br>Them: "I don't know, I have never tried."<br>Me: "It's easy, watch...." (I demonstrate 3-4)<br>Them: "Wow! I couldn't do that many!"
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PO3 Bill Clayton
PO3 Bill Clayton
10 y
I'll bet the kid could do a lot more than 4 after boot camp. It's called conditioning. (not air-conditioning)
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SFC Mark Merino
28
28
0
The best excuses come from those who couldn't even get a waiver to get into the Boy Scouts if they tried.
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SPC Christopher Morehouse
27
27
0
"I'm a tool"

Well thats what I hear anyway, I think they might actually have said the "problem with authority/telling me what to do/punch my drill sgt in the face" thing.
(27)
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SGT Christopher Hoffman
SGT Christopher Hoffman
10 y
At least he/she is honest.
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1SG Civil Affairs Specialist
1SG (Join to see)
>1 y
Seems like there are always more tools in the training pipeline...
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Lt Col Instructor Navigator
Lt Col (Join to see)
7 y
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Lt Col Sexual Assault Prevention & Response Program Manager
20
20
0
Personally, I'm proud to be the 1%. It wouldn't be the same if everyone was suited for it, or wanted to do it. If someone's interested, I'm cool with it. I choose not to be a lion tamer, and I don't think anyone would judge me for any excuse I'd give for that decision.
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CPO Dan Neal
CPO Dan Neal
10 y
Best answer on this thread yet,
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GySgt Sean Smothers
GySgt Sean Smothers
9 y
I'm considering being a lion tamer but my SgtMaj said if I stay in he'd let me whip Privates instead.
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LCpl Douglas Landrith Jr
LCpl Douglas Landrith Jr
>1 y
GySgt Sean Smothers - Let your Lance Coolies do it Gunny, keep your hands clean!
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CW2 Kimberly Moran
CW2 Kimberly Moran
4 y
FINALLY yes, it’s an individual choice. You joining makes you unique & special we shouldn’t judge those who choose a different path.
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SSG (ret) William Martin
18
18
0
"I don't like to be told what to do" "But you work at McDonalds for minimum wage and someone there tells you what to do"
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SFC Mark Merino
SFC Mark Merino
11 y
Bazinga.
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SGT Robert Wagner
SGT Robert Wagner
10 y
or they don't like to wear a uniform, as they stand there in their McD's uniform
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CPT Customer Service
18
18
0
"I dont know if I could ever on purpose kill someone...'

So what your saying is if its on accident its possible? But if someone is purposefully threatening your life or the welfare of others you would do nothing..?
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SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA
SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA
>1 y
Killing doesn't come naturally for the vast majority of humanity. If you haven't read the books 'On Killing' and 'On Combat,' I strongly recommend them.
The Army is pretty good nowadays at conditioning your mind to be willing to kill someone at the appropriate time.
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CDR Kenneth Kaiser
CDR Kenneth Kaiser
10 y
SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA - Unfortunately the appropriate time often seems to be when they are giving you these dumb answers
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Brad Powers
Brad Powers
>1 y
I like your respone the most because it puts it in a bare truth ignition sort of way. We as people are much less than perfect so in fact we need others to put things in the right shade of light for us as in each other. Unstoppable is the way we need to be, alone and possible it is not.
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CH (CPT) Heather Davis
18
18
0

I would join in peace time, but I heard you have to go to Iraq and get deployed. They shoot people over there!


YA THINK! We are at war! Hmmmmmmm

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CH (CPT) Heather Davis
CH (CPT) Heather Davis
12 y
The big one, I would have to cut my hair!
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SGT Writer
SGT (Join to see)
12 y
I was upset in Basic because I couldn't shave my head.  Every week I paid for a short haircut.  That's the only time I've had hair since I've joined.
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Cpl Glynis Sakowicz
Cpl Glynis Sakowicz
>1 y
You know, I heard one of my friends, a while back, after she'd come back from her third deployment, mind you, muttering to herself as she heard a couple of twenty-somethings discussing the Kardashians, and staring blankly at another friend who asked them what they thought about the problems in the Middle East, "WE are at war... America is at the dang mall..."
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SPC Angel Guma
SPC Angel Guma
11 y
You know what though, if they don't want to fight, then we are all better off without them joining. I suppose we all have different reasons for joining, or not joining, and some people with time find rationalities for why they are in if at first they didn't like it....but however the issue is framed, militaries are for fighting. If they dont' want to do that, don't join.
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MSG Scott McBride
16
16
0
After I graduated high school my grandfather said I should join the military. Yeah right, I want to have a life so I was certainly one of those who WAS NOT going to be a servicember...ever. After an awesome 21 year career in the the Army the only regret I have is not joining sooner.
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SPC Craig Certain
SPC Craig Certain
11 y
I TOTALLY AGREE! I miss it every day since my med discharge.
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SGT Ben Keen
16
16
0
"I watched Full Metal Jacket...I don't think I could be treated like that..."
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SSG Operations
SSG (Join to see)
>1 y
funny I heard that "Won't let my kids join during this administration" when I was a recruiter, during LAST administration.
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SGT Motor Transport Operator
SGT (Join to see)
11 y
"I serve the people of the United States".
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SFC Clark Thompson
SFC Clark Thompson
10 y
Hah! I saw that movie in the theater two weeks before shipping to basic. Scared the hell out of me. In hindsight, I'm glad I saw it. I went in expecting the absolute worst and it was nothing like the movie.
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Sgt David Hesser
Sgt David Hesser
>1 y
No it was worse.
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