Posted on Jan 23, 2014
What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?
816K
3.8K
796
81
81
0
People always have some pretty colorful excuses for not joining the military. What are your favorite/ most absurd?
Posted in these groups: 
Humor
Humor
Posted 12 y ago
Responses: 347
5
5
0
Just one of the many I've gotten from my son.
Me: You should join the military.
Son: My friends told me that the ASVAB test is really hard.
Me: Really? So, why didn't you ask me or your mom?
Son: Because I believe my friends.
Me: How many of your friends have taken the test?
Son: I don't know.
Me: you do realize that both of your parents are the best people to ask.
Son: why?
Me: She's in the Navy and I've served in (at the time) the Marine Corps and Air Force.
That was the last conversation we had before I financially shut him off.
Me: You should join the military.
Son: My friends told me that the ASVAB test is really hard.
Me: Really? So, why didn't you ask me or your mom?
Son: Because I believe my friends.
Me: How many of your friends have taken the test?
Son: I don't know.
Me: you do realize that both of your parents are the best people to ask.
Son: why?
Me: She's in the Navy and I've served in (at the time) the Marine Corps and Air Force.
That was the last conversation we had before I financially shut him off.
(5)
(0)
5
5
0
These are all from the mid 70's
1) The only reason someone would join the military is because they lack the imagination to think of doing something worthwhile. (friend who was still working at the Burger king counter six years later, now managing a Bed, Bath and Beyond)
2) The only reason someone would join the military is because the lack the initiative to complete a task if someone isn't yelling at them. (friend who was on honor roll in high school, that was thrown out of three universities in three years because of drinking)
3) Marines are stupid. If you tell them to do something, they do it. (Really cute waitress I was trying to pick up in a bar)
4) I'll never get rich doing that (friend who is still a used car salesman after 38 years, and not rich)
And yes I should have picked better friends in high school.
1) The only reason someone would join the military is because they lack the imagination to think of doing something worthwhile. (friend who was still working at the Burger king counter six years later, now managing a Bed, Bath and Beyond)
2) The only reason someone would join the military is because the lack the initiative to complete a task if someone isn't yelling at them. (friend who was on honor roll in high school, that was thrown out of three universities in three years because of drinking)
3) Marines are stupid. If you tell them to do something, they do it. (Really cute waitress I was trying to pick up in a bar)
4) I'll never get rich doing that (friend who is still a used car salesman after 38 years, and not rich)
And yes I should have picked better friends in high school.
(5)
(0)
5
5
0
No one should be persuaded to join. Then we'd only get those that want to be there. First thing I tell "prospects"...this is not your ordinary job, this one may require you to lay down your life...in more ways than one. I've had people come back and tell me that was the best and most truthful thing they've ever heard. Some have served, some are still serving and some...never joined because it wasn't for them.
(5)
(0)
5
5
0
I'm on recruiters assistance, guy walks in with tattoos on hands neck and a small one on his face "I think it's time to do something better with my life"
(5)
(0)
5
5
0
MSgt Peter Vatistas
I remember someone saying that at a bonfire party when I just got home from basic/school/level II combat training. I spun around and said "HEY!" he turned around and I said "CUT YOUR HAIR". He chuckled and turned back around to drink his beer and face his friends. I said "Just as I thought".
(1)
(0)
5
5
0
"I totally respect the military, but I couldn't bring myself to kill somebody."
I tell them to remember that if we're ever invaded....
I tell them to remember that if we're ever invaded....
(5)
(0)
5
5
0
As a former recruiter, I heard just about everything on excuses. Far too many to list on here if you can imagine.
(5)
(0)
CPT Jacob Swartout
Here are a few:
1. College is only a few hundred dollars each year, it can't be that expensive.
2. I will join if I don't really have do anything but be on the list that said I joined.
3. I'm waiting for someone to invade us first then I will think about joining only on weekends and occasionally on days where there is nothing to do that is fun.
4. The draft will let me know when its my time, right?
5. I don't like running because it will make your heart stop at a certain point from running too fast. You won't recover. I saw it on TV and won't run ever.
6. You won't allow me to take my dog to basic training. He deserves to be with me where I go.
7. All that the Army does is march everywhere. My feet would blister up from marching because my grandma said that the boots are made of hard steel. That way no one can shoot your foot and you can keep on marching. Right?
That is all I can remember at this time. So many though I wouldn't be able to remember them all if I tried.
1. College is only a few hundred dollars each year, it can't be that expensive.
2. I will join if I don't really have do anything but be on the list that said I joined.
3. I'm waiting for someone to invade us first then I will think about joining only on weekends and occasionally on days where there is nothing to do that is fun.
4. The draft will let me know when its my time, right?
5. I don't like running because it will make your heart stop at a certain point from running too fast. You won't recover. I saw it on TV and won't run ever.
6. You won't allow me to take my dog to basic training. He deserves to be with me where I go.
7. All that the Army does is march everywhere. My feet would blister up from marching because my grandma said that the boots are made of hard steel. That way no one can shoot your foot and you can keep on marching. Right?
That is all I can remember at this time. So many though I wouldn't be able to remember them all if I tried.
(2)
(0)
5
5
0
As a recruiter, I hear different excuses almost daily. Some of them are just straight out hilarious while some are just too ignorant it boils my blood. The best excuse I've heard so far is - "I don't want to join because the military is only for those who can't get into colleges because they're too dumb".
(5)
(0)
4
4
0
4
4
0
"I get shin splints when I run" - I've heard this one more than any other
"I should've done it when I was younger, I'm too old now" - I've heard this from guys between 25-30 (cutoff age is currently 35 for non-prior - enlist before the 35th birthday and 42 for prior)
FYI, I enlisted at the age of 30 and I was one of the oldest privates, in preparation for basic training I too would get shin splints and as soon as I recovered I would run again until I would no longer experience any discomfort. I watched 18 year old's quit and go home, I did convince a couple of them to stay by telling them "If my old ass can make it, this should be a walk in the park for you". As long as you're physically capable, it's all in your head
"I should've done it when I was younger, I'm too old now" - I've heard this from guys between 25-30 (cutoff age is currently 35 for non-prior - enlist before the 35th birthday and 42 for prior)
FYI, I enlisted at the age of 30 and I was one of the oldest privates, in preparation for basic training I too would get shin splints and as soon as I recovered I would run again until I would no longer experience any discomfort. I watched 18 year old's quit and go home, I did convince a couple of them to stay by telling them "If my old ass can make it, this should be a walk in the park for you". As long as you're physically capable, it's all in your head
(4)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google