Posted on Jan 23, 2014
SSG Cannon Crew Member
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People always have some pretty colorful excuses for not joining the military. What are your favorite/ most absurd?
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Responses: 347
SFC Telecommunications Operations Chief
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While I was visiting my sister at her work in downtown Colorado Springs, a young man told me "Thanks for fighting the war so I do not have to". My response was "My pleasure"

While not entirely on topic, it is close.
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SGT Squad Leader
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An old high school buddy of mine is in a band. He makes no money, has 2 kids, and lives at home with his mom. He is 33. His excuse was "because I would have to cut my hair." I feel sorry for his daughters.
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SSgt Senior Weapond System Coordinator
3
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Here's on one... "OH I would have joined but I was smart enough to get into college" ... throat punch engage
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Lorelei Brewer
Lorelei Brewer
>1 y
From my recruiter: "People 'smart enough to go to college' are totally bombing the ASVAB (which is basic high school level knowledge)."
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LTC Stephen C.
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I don't know SSG (Join to see), but the guy in the photo really needs to join, because he sure doesn't know how to snap a tabbed collar shirt around a tie!
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LTC Stephen C.
LTC Stephen C.
6 y
Well, SSG (Join to see), it appears as though the photo was changed from when I first responded to you in 2014!
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SA Harold Hansmann
3
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The one I haven't heard from y'all, "I couldn't pass the physical."
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PO1 Cameron Rhyne
PO1 Cameron Rhyne
10 y
As a recruiter, I've met quite a few people who couldn't. There's a lot of medical disqualifiers.
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CPT Agr Operations Officer
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Hear this one in 2004. "I don't want to go to war with China".
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CMC Robert Young
CMC Robert Young
11 y
Why just China? Makes you wonder ;-)
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SFC A.M. Drake
3
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Prospect:
"I cant join right now because I got a job."

Me: Oh what job is that partner?

Prospect: "I sell perfumes and cologne to people at businesses like yours!"

Me: "Duhhh now you're getting screwed in your pocket and wallet!
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SFC Retention Nco
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"I have a problem with authority" ---sure you do
"I have to lose x amount of pounds first" --- well get on that I can help you
I have a few friends and even my step brother ask me all these questions about being in and all the benefits and what your day is like. I tell them and they seem really interested and they go talk to the recruiter and then that's that. The military isn't for everyone.
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SGT Avionics and Survivability Repairer
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Because I don't wanna die at a really young age. A few months later, he was hit by a drunk driver a couple blocks from his house. He would've been in AIT at the time had he enlisted.


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SGT Avionics and Survivability Repairer
SGT (Join to see)
12 y
Because yall don't ever sleep, you just go into like a standby or something. I really enjoy my sleep.
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SGT Avionics and Survivability Repairer
SGT (Join to see)
12 y
Because everybody who goes to war dies by getting shot or blown up...while I was there in front of the kid wearing my USASOC patch.<br>
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SGT Avionics and Survivability Repairer
SGT (Join to see)
12 y
Very few said this, but..."I'm supposed to get married and stay home with all of the babies I'm going to have with my husband. I can't do that if I'm all GI Jane and not having my period because I'm all roid-raged out! That and I really like wearing cute clothes and wearing makeup and stuff."
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SGT Richard H.
SGT Richard H.
10 y
This one is just sad...
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Cpl Vic Burk
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I can't take orders from nobody. (From a former student who works at Burger King)
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SFC Mark Merino
SFC Mark Merino
2 mo
Classic.
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