Posted on Jun 15, 2018
What do I do to help with the "problem child" in my unit? How do I motivate him and others to do their job better?
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I have a soldier in my company that is failing PT tests consistently, getting the rest of us in trouble by being FTR multiple times, has problems understanding what it asked of him, and cannot seem to maintain any motivation. Others are getting tired of him and just want him to quit. It's like everyone's given up on him.
I have offered my weekends to help get him back into shape on his run, have made multiple attempts to take him under my wing and help improve his job performance and there is always an excuse as to why he cannot do something. He spends all of his pay on pizza, junk food, and women. I want to help this soldier out because it seems like he has given up on himself and honestly I just think he needs motivation.
I know I'm just a PFC but I'd like any tips from a NCOs, officers, team leaders, etc that can help me motivate this soldier into improving himself and to motivate others when I hopefully become an NCO and inevitably have this situation spring up again. Thanks.
I have offered my weekends to help get him back into shape on his run, have made multiple attempts to take him under my wing and help improve his job performance and there is always an excuse as to why he cannot do something. He spends all of his pay on pizza, junk food, and women. I want to help this soldier out because it seems like he has given up on himself and honestly I just think he needs motivation.
I know I'm just a PFC but I'd like any tips from a NCOs, officers, team leaders, etc that can help me motivate this soldier into improving himself and to motivate others when I hopefully become an NCO and inevitably have this situation spring up again. Thanks.
Posted in these groups: 
APFT
Leadership Development
APFT Leadership Development
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 20
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You cannot save someone who doesn't want to improve. See if you can find out why he joined and if there is a reason there that can be used to encourage him. The question is what happened between basic and now since he would have washed out with this behaviour and attitude
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SPC Erich Guenther
Agree, except with the Dr. Phil stuff. Get him Chaptered if he doesn't want your help he made a decision to volunteer and a commitment to meet standards. He is breeching his contract if he is not pulling his weight in the Platoon.
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Lt Col Charlie Brown
SPC Erich Guenther sometimes if you ask, you can turn someone around. We spent money and time training him, why throw him away if he's reparable?
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SPC Erich Guenther
Lt Col Charlie Brown - Thats one of the the big issues with the Army though when it comes to Chaptering people they are too reluctant to do so and wear out or wear down good soldiers by attempting to salvage a bad one. I am willing to bet the Army spends a lot more money with the attempted salvage then they do if they just would have Chaptered the guy to begin with. Army needs better guidelines in this area AND an expedited chapter process that dumps the Soldier back on the street in a few weeks vs a few months (which would result in better discipline because justice delayed is justice denied the rest of us who have to cover for these idiots). I think once the Soldier cops and attitude and stops cooperating with attempts to reform them, time to say good bye.
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Lt Col Charlie Brown
SPC Erich Guenther I put out a couple of troops under 180 day rule. I also denied reenlistment to a few others but not without sorting out what was going on first.
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Like those above me have said, you can’t help him if he doesn’t want the help. You can try, try and try some more but at the end he is still going to do what he wants. Which from what you’ve said isn’t much. Honestly at this point he prob thought that the army is a “free ride” and needs to be chaptered. I do aplude you for trying as a PFC.
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Some times you can give all of yourself to that soldier ie free time, mentoring etc and they just don’t want to change. What has your leadership done to assist him? If it’s a failure to adapt situation then your command needs to address that. Just be his friend, battle buddy... sometimes that’s all a guy needs to get his act together
Otherwise it’s time to stop wasting the military’s money and have him chaptered..
Otherwise it’s time to stop wasting the military’s money and have him chaptered..
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PFC (Join to see)
As far as I know he has received counselings, verbal reprimands, corrective training, and has been told numerous times what is expected of him. He had been assigned to remedial PT but since then he keeps getting a profile to malinger on.
I'll try my best to be a good friend to him. He's a good guy. Just not a great soldier at this point. He must've been a good soldier and met the standard before which is why I didn't want to give up on him but you're right: sometimes you gotta cut the fat and chapter them.
I'll try my best to be a good friend to him. He's a good guy. Just not a great soldier at this point. He must've been a good soldier and met the standard before which is why I didn't want to give up on him but you're right: sometimes you gotta cut the fat and chapter them.
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SPC Erich Guenther
PFC (Join to see) - So if you tried Mr. Hyde.......it is long overdue for Dr. Jeykl and get him on the Chapter list. Start to make his life a living hell.
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I strongly suggest that you find a copy of Sun Tzu's "The Art of War." Read the story of the concubines.
Down and dirty cliff notes, as a leader:
1) Make sure that your subordinates know and understand what is expected.
2) Make sure that your subordinates know how to do what is expected.
3) Make sure your subordinates are capable of doing what is expected.
4) If they up check on items 1-3 and just don't want to do what is expected... stop wasting your time. Off with their heads. (legal disclaimer: figuratively, not literally) Let their failure and resulting consequences serve as a lesson to those inclined to follow their example. There is far greater chances of victory in reinforcing success than in shoring up failure.
The problem child is not a child. He/she is an adult and should experience the learning point now, rather than later. My guess is that all their life people have picked up their load. They've become used to it, and expect it. Do you really want to serve next to that slug if next week you and your unit are in a shooting match?
Down and dirty cliff notes, as a leader:
1) Make sure that your subordinates know and understand what is expected.
2) Make sure that your subordinates know how to do what is expected.
3) Make sure your subordinates are capable of doing what is expected.
4) If they up check on items 1-3 and just don't want to do what is expected... stop wasting your time. Off with their heads. (legal disclaimer: figuratively, not literally) Let their failure and resulting consequences serve as a lesson to those inclined to follow their example. There is far greater chances of victory in reinforcing success than in shoring up failure.
The problem child is not a child. He/she is an adult and should experience the learning point now, rather than later. My guess is that all their life people have picked up their load. They've become used to it, and expect it. Do you really want to serve next to that slug if next week you and your unit are in a shooting match?
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SPC Erich Guenther
Agree with number 4 above, see my post for some ideas. You can derive some limited entertainment while you steer the guy towards a Chapter.
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Way back when Blanket Parties happened but that is no longer an acceptable option for motivation.
Your attitude in trying to help him is commendable, but the Bottom Line is YOU cannot fix him if he is unwilling. Until he is willing to accept help all you can do is offer but you are not responsible for his choices.
Your attitude in trying to help him is commendable, but the Bottom Line is YOU cannot fix him if he is unwilling. Until he is willing to accept help all you can do is offer but you are not responsible for his choices.
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SPC Erich Guenther
I was in when blanket parties were still applied. The only item that was dangerous about them is if the initiator did not have a real grasp of the mood of the participants and things got out of control........which some of the sloppy organizers ruined it for the rest of the Army. I think it was an effective disciplinary tool. A good blanket party the participants had to be persuaded to participate. A bad blanket party in which you could tell you would lose control was one where all the participants were over eager to participate and tripping over themselves to volunteer.....the bad ones should have been called off because when folks are that eager you have a few that go too far and it turns into a uncontrollable mob. Too bad a few bad apples ruined it for the rest of the Army.
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CPL Dave Hoover
Either there is some deep underlying issue he's afraid to discuss ( maybe a chaplain outside his Brigade) or he doesn't want to be in the Army and has given up. I'm inclined to believe he has given up.
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CMSgt (Join to see)
"has problems understanding what is asked of him" I don't believe he would have made it this far if that was the case. No, chances are he is aware of the standards but chooses not to follow. The question is why? Only this person knows and if he is unwilling to express why then there is no other recourse. Some people just don't get it and the sooner they're gone the better. When someone tells you, "they can't", 99.9% of the time it means, "they won't".
I would like to commend PFC Dennis Newport who appears mature beyond his years.
P.S. Disclaimer on that 99.9% of the time reference (stay frosty):
https://imgur.com/2e52NTi
I would like to commend PFC Dennis Newport who appears mature beyond his years.
P.S. Disclaimer on that 99.9% of the time reference (stay frosty):
https://imgur.com/2e52NTi
Imgur
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Honestly, as an enlisted soldier for four years I was in the position that I did not want to stay in any longer. I was pushed by several SFCs and SGTs to just go to the promotion board and make an informed decision afterwards. As a newly promoted Sergeant, I realize that a lot of younger soldiers who are placed away from family, normal life, and comforts like friends are looking for a new comfort zone. The point is if you don't outrank this soldier, there is a high chance he wont listen to you, at all. try to approach him as a friend as others on here have said. If that doesn't work, let your leadership know, preferably your first line NCO and let it be handled there. If he is trying to sneak through a military career by being a shi**ag and bringing everyone else down with him, it's time for him to get out. He may be one individual but soldiers like this make our Army, and our military weaker as a whole. Especially if we can not/will not weed them out. If one of my soldiers had this attitude/mentality, I would sit down with them in a professional environment (counseling session) and try to work out what the deal is. Lay out some guidelines, tasks, and goals to meet by a certain time. If they are not met or if the soldier is just not making any effort, I will begin the process. Again, as others have stated sometimes there are deeper root causes to this sort of behavior. Definitely not your job to do this PFC but it shows good character that you care like this.
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Have a heart to heart talk- see what his plans are for the future. You can only motivate if they want to be motivated. Its possible, he wants out, and these actions are a sure way of doing it.
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PFC (Join to see), first of all, you have the benefit of hundreds if not thousands members of this great place to put forth your question.
The one thing that I wonder is does he drink. I know that that can be something that can cause the things you have mentioned. If so you can speak with someone who can do an intervention and get him help with that monster.
Thanks for the Mention Lt Col Charlie Brown
The one thing that I wonder is does he drink. I know that that can be something that can cause the things you have mentioned. If so you can speak with someone who can do an intervention and get him help with that monster.
Thanks for the Mention Lt Col Charlie Brown
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PFC (Join to see)
He's underage so I do not know for sure if he drinks. He probably does anyway because all of them do. I don't know if he has a drinking problem per se but definitely a binge-eating problem. Thank you for the input. Maybe I can convince him to see a chaplain to help him out in that regard.
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SSG (Join to see)
PFC (Join to see) - Since he is underage, it is possible he has that high school mentality of 'Screw the world. I'll do what I want.' If he can't be convinced to take responsibility for himself, then sometimes it is best to just let him float out the rest of his contract or let the Army find a reason to boot him out early (hopefully the latter).
Once out, one of three things will happen:
1. He will go back home to live with Mommy and Daddy where they can take care of him til they get sick of his fat butt and boot him out of their home.
2. Return to the normal world, get his own home and job, and be happy he is no longer in the Army.
3. Return to the normal world, realize he is now responsibly for paying his own rent, bills, and food. And then realized how he screwed up by getting out of the Army.
The Army isn't for everyone.
Once out, one of three things will happen:
1. He will go back home to live with Mommy and Daddy where they can take care of him til they get sick of his fat butt and boot him out of their home.
2. Return to the normal world, get his own home and job, and be happy he is no longer in the Army.
3. Return to the normal world, realize he is now responsibly for paying his own rent, bills, and food. And then realized how he screwed up by getting out of the Army.
The Army isn't for everyone.
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PFC (Join to see) I have a hard time giving up on someone. Don't know the specifics of this guy, but I would sit down with him as a friend and show him the direction he s going is not good. I would confront him to straighten up or be shipped out. When you have done all this and he still doesn't change let therArmy take it from there. You have tried your best.
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