What is the best prank you have pulled on a new butter bar?

We were down at NTC, when one of the Soldiers in my Platoon relieved himself of the byproducts from his previous MRE in a CONEX container that happened to be sitting near us. I don't know who exactly came up with the idea, but a short while later he told our brand-new LT that he had found WMD's in that particular CONEX.

Poor LT went over there and started photographing & documenting the pile of turds in the otherwise empty container and was nearly finished with his initial report when the joke finally dawned on him. We never figured out why half the Platoon rolling on the ground, doubled-up with laughter didn't tip him off that something was amiss.

The A-1 Skyraider has a funnel in the cockpit. It's connected by rubber tubing to a small pipe hanging out of the fuselage, pointed aft. This is the pilot's inflight urinal, known as a relief tube. When I was an AO3 (E-4) one of our Ensigns (=2LT) pissed me off. After he started the engine, I crawled under the fuselage with a crescent wrench, loosened the lock nut on the pipe, turned the pipe 180 degrees so it pointed into the slipstream and tightened the nut. When that Butter Bar took a leak it all blew right back at him.

"Go to supply for me and get a box of grid squares"

The only thing we ever did that I can think of was told him his bars were upside down. He stared at it for a little bit trying to figure out how we could tell.

Newbie was introduced with hemroid cream switched for toothpaste!!! We all had it and continued the tradition! !

I didn't pull this prank, but my father-in-law did MAAAAAAANY MOONS AGO! He was a SFC at the time and on Bridge Staff Duty at Fort Richardson when he go a brand-new butter from West Point. He told him that he had to go outside on moose patrol around the building, which consisted of walking around the Staff Duty perimeter with a small gong, striking it every few steps, and shouting, "GO AWAY, MOOSE!"

Was on duty driver with a first time SDO. Trip to the ammo dump, he had a map. I'd been to the dump a million times from Sullivan. The guy got me turned around and ended up in the parking lot of the Oclub. Then he wanted to go check on on some joes over by the fence line. I told him, umm no Sir,I don't want to get beat up. Was putting a pac in a tank and I see a cherry OD uniform duck under the grill doors. I hollered as called him a dumb SOB. A hand come under the door and snags a collar. Next thing I hear in a plt daddy hollering up at me "Spc Campbell the frase

Honestly, never had the time, was too busy trying to keep their career alive. Did accidently tell a 2nd Lt to ask MGySgt about an inquiry and they went directly up to him while he was drinking his coffee and smoking his cigar. Common sense was not to do that.

I don't know how much of a prank this was, I had a new 2LT get assigned in my transportation squadron. He learned management in the academy and sat down to start looking at all the NCO OJT records. After noting all the different AFSCs, he came to me to ask about why there were 602 and 605 AFSCs under him. I explained that 602s were ground transportation, 603s were vehicle operations and drivers, and 605s were deployable air transportation people that had to have all the skills of 602 and 603 as well as our own. He mentioned his own AFSC was 6051 and noticed mine at 60575, so he wanted to know how to do the day to day job because he believed it would make him a better manager. He asked me to train him along with the new airmen just assigned to my shop so I said training starts the following morning.

With the formal OJT in progress I had trained airmen and NCOs also working with me and we liked to prank the new guys. I didn't hesitate to prank the new 2LT, I assigned all the new guys the task of finder and delivering a pallet stretcher, and when they left to find one I telephoned every shop in the squadron to be ready, to include the squadron commander who was prior enlisted in the same AFSC. They bounced around the squadron about five hours until the squadron commander caught them checking with the supply squadron across the street. I had good relations with the Supply squadron so both squadron commanders had fun explaining pranks to the 2LT. My own commander was impressed that I used it to introduce all the new guys to everyone we routinely worked with in an original way.

In Vietnam, new butter bar assigned to our plt,shows up as we are leaving on A lrrps mission . Our SFC pulls out a map and the bb comes over to the sarge and says he’s in charge and demands the map.
SFC dutifully hands over the map. BB looks at map and determines our route. SFC says “ sir , because of where we are in the world, the map must be turned 180 degrees to properly plot our rout” . LT never doubts it for a second. A quick word to a passing pfc in a jeep and a promised bottle of wild Turkey and we didn’t see that lt for 30 days, the exact number of days we were out on this mission. He never really came over and “commanded “us again.