What's the best advice you can give for strengthening military marriages?

It you think something is wrong, it probably is. Get into counseling and most of the time you'll find out it was you mucking things up. We Mils have a bad habit of isolating ourselves. BTW if you can't cry together, something's wrong.

Be honest. Don't sugar coat, especially when the Service is about to hand you an opportunity to exhibit selfless service. Your spouse needs to be able to not just hang in there, but thrive. It makes for an odd dynamic. Your spouse has to have something to call "her's": career, vocation, hobby, whatever. This is really hard, especially with kids. Don't BS that everything is going to be hunky dory.

Think before you speak. Breath and have fun be friends.

Unless you are absolutely certain that you are iron-clad in understanding the challenges and difficulties unique to life as a spouse of a service member, DON'T DO IT.

My soon-to-be-ex-wife told me in one of her more candid moments that I chose the Army over her and the children. It wasn't true, but it cut me to the core. I will not even look for love again until my Army career ends.

Be willing to compromise and above all stay best friends.

Find something you both enjoy and do it together.

My training and background is as a marriage and family therapist. I do a lot of work with active duty and veteran families. My wife (also a marriage therapist) and I have developed a 12 session training (also in a two day seminar format) that is focused precisely where you have asked. We walk through a series of information and practical, hands on tools focused on: understanding the family lifecycle, the bio/psycho/social/cultural/spiritual differences between men and women, emotional regulation, conflict management, a whole host of communications tools, and relationship enhancement and management. The four parts of our program are titled: who we are, how we think, how we communicate, and how we relate. We find that this has a significant impact on any family, but especially active duty families.