Posted on Nov 29, 2013
What's your best "military-related joke" or "amusing military story?"
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We all know that when it comes to military jokes and amazing stories, military folk have corned the market; some are old classic and some are more recent, but one thing's for certain, there's some real gems out there... so, what's your best joke or "sea story?" It could be on the topic of one of your sister services (a little light ribbing is ok of course, we're all family here), or perhaps a classic yarn about a "brand spankin' new" Lieutenant or "salty" old Chief, maybe even a humorous or entertaining story passed down through the generations. Written descriptions, photos, links, slideshows, videos, etc. are all welcome, whatever way you have to tell your story or joke is absolutely ok, just have one basic rule here, let's try to keep it within the bounds of good taste; so, put on your thinking caps folks, and let's have some fun here... I know this'll be a great time; thank you for all that your do, and... see you all in the discussion threads!!
Motivation
Mentorship
Esprit de Corps
Edited >1 y ago
Posted 12 y ago
Responses: 31
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Ft. Benning OCS. Two men constantly complained... on a very long road March... I think 20 miles... here came their complaints. About that time, the chow truck was leaving... a cook asked if they wanted to ride back... the jumped in tha 2 1/2 and rode back. Not one thing was said, but on graduation day.... black piping on trousers, highly polished brass, we were marching to a theatre. The two men were stopped, handed Enlisted orders, and told if you can’t finish a road march, you can’t lead.
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This was told to me by a command post operator who was working in the PAFB Command Post when this incident happened. In 1972, a FB-111A Aardvark landed at the nearby Clinton County Airport after the pilot mistook the runway for the airport as being the nearby Plattsburgh Air Force Base. The pilot didn't realize he had landed at the wrong airport until the end of the runway came up much sooner than he expected. After he got the aircraft stopped, the crew exited the plane and walked over to the operations building where a public pay phone was available. He put a dime in the pay phone and called the command post. A command post operator answered the phone and said, "Plattsburgh Command Post. I can't talk to you now, we've got a plane down." (click). It was the pilot's only dime. As Paul Harvey would have said, "So now you know the rest of the story."
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Punking the new guys is always a winner. A million ways to do it. The best, if you're brave enough, is to send the new guy out with chalk to check Top's HMMWV for rust spots - "Just put an X wherever it sounds hollow and we'll come by later to clean out the rust. Top is waiting though, so let him know as soon as you're done."
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At this risk of being banned from this site for obscentity, I'll share my favorite joke, but use a lot of asterisks to try to keep it clean.
There was a contest held to determine if anyone could come up with an intelligible sentence, using only variations of what we now call the "F" bomb. The winner was a motor pool SGT... when a Jeep (see how old the story is) was pushed into the garage, with oil dripping and the engine smoking, he opened the hood, and said "F***ing" F***ers F***ed!"
Made perfect sense and we all know what he meant.
There was a contest held to determine if anyone could come up with an intelligible sentence, using only variations of what we now call the "F" bomb. The winner was a motor pool SGT... when a Jeep (see how old the story is) was pushed into the garage, with oil dripping and the engine smoking, he opened the hood, and said "F***ing" F***ers F***ed!"
Made perfect sense and we all know what he meant.
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Sending the new PVT or LT to the LOG OFF or NCO for chemlight batteries and telling not to let supply tell them they do not have any.
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We had a battalion commander who had earned the distinction of overriding his FO on a fire mission and called in in on his own position hurting a lot of people.
Whenever he came into our company area I would yell "Incoming" as a cautionary note to anyone in our area. I learned that from my DI, who was reportedly shipped out of Viet Nam when he called in a fire mission when his battalion commander was coming in by chopper.
Whenever he came into our company area I would yell "Incoming" as a cautionary note to anyone in our area. I learned that from my DI, who was reportedly shipped out of Viet Nam when he called in a fire mission when his battalion commander was coming in by chopper.
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Our battalion XO would get exasperated with the young officers and describe them as "Idiots masquerading as officers!" I have applied his assessment and adapted it throughout my life because it was such a beautiful assessment.
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For me this question has the same answer as the question about what is your favorite cadence. They cannot be repeated in this era of political correctness. Oh, well, what can we do?
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My personal favorite was in the movie The Dirty Dozen! Lee Marvin gave such a
great performance as their leader and the other cast members were at the top
of their game. Telly Savalis was great so was Charles Bronson and the rest of the
cast members such as Clint Howard and Jim Brown. One of my favorite movies of
all time!!
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