What's your funniest "The Military Just Came Out Of Me" moment in the workplace?

I was the Chief Of Operations and briefing my staff. In the middle of the briefing, I was challenged by a member of the staff as I was explaining why their position was not acceptable. The Police Commander decided she knew a little more than me and told me how things were going to be. I was not interested in feedback at the time as orders had come down to my desk. I raised my right hand and was about to slam it on my desk when for some reason I saw the glass panel on my desk break into a thousand peaces. I caught myself in mid-swing and stood up and said I had to go to the restroom. I was about to say "I be god-damn" But I knew it would not end well for anyone in the room at the time. I simply stood up and ended my rant with "I got to go to the bath room".

I was working the line and Chef hadn’t shown yet... and I had these new young
Cooks looking to me to see what’s going on.... I knew who the good leaders were and would back mr when I needed it.. and the others would fall in line.. So the s SSGT came out and I directed what each had to do... we had prime ribs in the auto-sham and I sent my nr. 3 guy to get one ..
meanwhile Chef Casie had.sn Oysters on the half shell working.... and I went to help her set it up.. I Seen she had it under control.... Young JR. Chef Kennie had a hunter fillet work’g ... “”chef Kenny is that hunter about ready?” “Pulling it out now, Chef !” He replied.. we worked another half hour and finally e’thing Was out in the window for pick-up. .... I found out Chef D was out in the lounge.. He’d ordered a Prime rib, Medium open face sandwich..
on toasted Kaiser.. with extra krispy bar fries... I ‘d done it and didn’t even think it was his order.. we’d been pretty busy..
Julie our head wait told me that if I had a few minutes he wanted to see me in the lounge.. I checked e’thing and clean-up was going good.. do I went out front and
He was there waiting.. “I heard you ran the line tonight..” “yes, Chef Billy called in again”..... “ looks like he moves down a slot and you move up, Chef !” .... Chef told me.. the Mgr. of the night was there and jotted it into his notes... “Can you stop in tomorrow ready to work, in case he doesn’t bother to show?” Sr. Chef asked me.. next night came and Chef billy was there.. but Chef Casie had called in.. how nice?.. not really, she was a good worker...
So A couple others stepped down a slot and I fell back a slot.. nothing new.. I moved people around to learn the different positions in case s’body doesn’t show.. the night went great.. we cleaned up and Sr. Chef D. gave Billy the bad news about being moved down a sot or two..
Chef Billie took the News so-so... There were a few of us that had their certification and some that were working on it.. So Sr. Chef D. Let me move them around to take turns being in charge and we were there to assist if needed.. We had one of our JR. Chef’s in the Nat’l Guard.. he was off at 2 week drill.. S’times he pulls an extra drill when he’s not scheduled for shift.. He was a dependable worker and would come in if called and available.. ..
Occasionally I was on the spot to run the show and it was a natural for SSGT to come out.. Thr only only I had a prob with wasn’t Chef Billie but another young lad we were training to work the line and do do prep set-ups.. and other items needed. He makes it known he’s not
One of the Airmen on my crew.. I’d be nice and let him know I do slip up and I mean upmost respect for him as I did the
Airmen on my shift when I was in the AF...
We get busy occasionally.... and have to be quick ... Billy would you.. Casie, could you.. Kenny would you get the .. all the workers know I mean no disrespect... So don’t get your shorts in a bunch.... Mr.——-

When I shot my neighborhood up It all came back like was there again like I ever left they put me in psych ward

I was in a bar after a long day and had two guys get into a stupid LOUD argument about a circuit box on a generator. After about 10 minutes listening to them getting louder and more stupid I barked out, "You two Bozos are interfering with me enjoying my beer! GO OUTSIDE OR SHAKE HANDS BUT SHUT UP!
They and everyone else was shocked and it was quiet for about 30 seconds then the Barkeep laughed and slapped a free beer down in front of me. They shut up and shortly left.

One of my employees came in late and I told her she needed to go unfuck herself and reevaluate her life choices

Have you ever started to stand for the National Anthem in a civilian theater?

Well....not so much in a civilian job or work place as I am 100% retired. But my darling wife is the Pres of her insurance firm. Which at the time had 3 partners, 3 claims adjusters and 2 receptionists. Man I tell you want. Hearing her unload her frustrations on me when she comes home.....I tell her that I am a qualified EOR in the Army. I'll have them ALL straightened out in no time. They'd never want me to unholster the knife hand. No. NO. She replies. You won't fix anything except me getting sued for hostile work environment and you using your Army terms. I'm like, they'll be all the better for it. Tighten up anyone's sensitivities and keep their shot group tight. She laughs and mutters, What am I going to do with you? Or, What is wrong with you? LOL I'm a tanker. Over 27 yrs active. HELLO

I was working in retail and a customer because verbally abusive and started threatening one of my coworkers.
The NCO in me came out, my coworker ended up behind me, and a promise that they would meet God that day if they raised their hand at my coworker was made.
Store manager was called to the front of the store, I was asked what happened, and I told my story. The manager was the son of a veteran and told me that policy didn't approve of my actions and I needed to walk on eggshells for a bit.
I left the job a year later.

The funniest was when I replied "HUA!" to my supervisor at a meeting, and everyone one of us broke out laughing.

This post has aged well! LOL!