Posted on Jun 25, 2021
When an E-4 calls me "hey" or "hey man" knowing that I am an officer, should I bother to correct him?
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This SPC calls me "hey man" outside work. I don't work with him directly; just happened to come across couple of times at work, and he did call me "sir". Not sure whether I should even bother to correct this SPC.
Posted in these groups: 
Customs and Courtesies
Customs and Courtesies
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 935
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One of the wisest things I was taught as an NCO.
If you ignore a failure to meet the standard, you have just set the new standard.
If you ignore a failure to meet the standard, you have just set the new standard.
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SGT Glenn E Moody
CPT Larry Hudson - yes sir that is kinda what i was getting at with my post. the ROTC 2nd LT got the rank for his Schooling not from OCS. I never finished high School or got my GED. that is why he was picking on me. thought he was better than me. he couldn't even make or read a range card. he just kept picking on me and not just me. just like the School bullys did. I always stood up to the bullys even if they are bigger than me picking on the smaller kids. should I have punched him in his mouth problly not but like the school bully thier is only so much one can take. before one loses it and strikes back. I was the M-60 gunner from E-1 to E-3 PFC. shortly after this I got my SPC-4 rank. my PLT LT CALLED me front center took off the SPC-4 RANK & PINNED ME HARD STRIPS CPL RANK. said welcome to the JR NCO'S along with my PLT SGT. both of my training PLT Officer & SGT ware ARMY RANGERS I was trained by the best.
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CW3 Charles Morris
CPT Larry Hudson - That was the dumbest post yet, "Milley/Austin won the new woke military agenda."
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Sgt Michael Cortes
MGySgt Anthony Yallum - Served 7 years and got out as a Sgt in '93. We were always on, 24/7. I was waiting for a Marine to answer this. It's the same reason I don't understand why so many Marines are on LinkedIn in civilian attire. It's a professional media site and our profession in the Marine Corps.
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Suspended Profile
Not sure what to do?! Is this even a real question? Did you miss class the day they taught leadership at OCS?
SCPO Glen Dutcher
This isn't a leadership issue. This is basic stuff. Correct the Specialist without causing a scene or being a dick. Most often a quiet reminder is all it really takes
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CW4 Todd McElmurry
SSG William Hommel - ohhh buddy... same as you.... I don't have the credit to VOTE YOURS down either... and btw..... "Feelings"? your own comment.... really?
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I don't like being put in this spot. It forces me to be the bad guy, but you are doing him a favor lighting him up verses a COL (or even his company CO, or 1SG).
The most aggressive thing I've done so far was (when a 1LT) me and another LT were walking from place to place and passed a SPC that belonged to another unit. Anyway....... he didn't acknowledge us and we were within arms length. I stood him dead in his tracks, didn't point out his discrepancy and waited for him to figure it out.
On the other side of that, I had my BC mention to me someone wearing our patch not salute him when he went through the gate. Luckily it could have been from another company, but still, it applied to a subordinate in his command be it my soldier or not.
*******
Favorite story about this sutff:
I'm USAR, we went to S Korea for an exercise and the active COL/CSM met with my incoming party to brief us (basically berate us to not step out of line while in country). Then a SGT in the audience giggled at something serious the CSM was talking about, and the CSM asked him what was so funny.
The SGT replied, and I quote, "I'm laughing at what you said man".
So I'm a 2LT (3 month TIG at this point) sitting in the audience of reservists, and prior NCO, and first thing I think is "oh god damn it, this whole brief now is going to take the whole afternoon".
Yep........... that SGT got lit the F up in an auditorium in front of all his friends by a CSM flanked by the CSM's COL (highest ranking person in the room).
********
So, remember, lighting up someone now while you are an LT could possibly save them from the story above.
The most aggressive thing I've done so far was (when a 1LT) me and another LT were walking from place to place and passed a SPC that belonged to another unit. Anyway....... he didn't acknowledge us and we were within arms length. I stood him dead in his tracks, didn't point out his discrepancy and waited for him to figure it out.
On the other side of that, I had my BC mention to me someone wearing our patch not salute him when he went through the gate. Luckily it could have been from another company, but still, it applied to a subordinate in his command be it my soldier or not.
*******
Favorite story about this sutff:
I'm USAR, we went to S Korea for an exercise and the active COL/CSM met with my incoming party to brief us (basically berate us to not step out of line while in country). Then a SGT in the audience giggled at something serious the CSM was talking about, and the CSM asked him what was so funny.
The SGT replied, and I quote, "I'm laughing at what you said man".
So I'm a 2LT (3 month TIG at this point) sitting in the audience of reservists, and prior NCO, and first thing I think is "oh god damn it, this whole brief now is going to take the whole afternoon".
Yep........... that SGT got lit the F up in an auditorium in front of all his friends by a CSM flanked by the CSM's COL (highest ranking person in the room).
********
So, remember, lighting up someone now while you are an LT could possibly save them from the story above.
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SSG Matthew Fox
I concur. As I said earlier, if this would have happened back in the day when I was in, an Article 15 would have been served up immediately. I can’t believe these people think they can get away with disrespecting senior ranks.
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PO3 Pamala McBrayer
I had my say at a base briefing. I stood up after being called upon to ask my question. The speaker was the Master Chief Petty Officer of the Navy. I THANKED HIM FOR CALLING ON ME FIRST. Then said, MASTER CHIEF ___, I understand what you are saying about fairness issues and sea shore rotations aligning between male and female sailors. I understand what the goal is. But gender based manning goals is a double edged sword. Not all these perceived advantages in favor of women are without disadvantages also. I gave my example, it was specific, and I was the aggrieved individual. Heads whipped around. I answered a couple of questions about my position/issue, and I stated in conclusion that life isn’t always fair and that I accepted that, but that I just wanted to share that there are unintended consequences that leaders needed to be aware of, that were detrimental to retention and readiness, in addition to fairness to personnel.
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MAJ Karen Wall
There is never a bad time to teach manners. Even if the other person, rank regardless, was my superior, manners are manners.
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A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney
MAJ Karen Wall -
Every So Often I Look As Some SOB, And Say To Myself:
"DAMN, I Sure Wish He'd Choke To Death......
while both of my hands are still grabbing his throat"
Every So Often I Look As Some SOB, And Say To Myself:
"DAMN, I Sure Wish He'd Choke To Death......
while both of my hands are still grabbing his throat"
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I say let them talk to you as they would at first, but then say “hey, it’s cool to talk to me outside of work. In fact, I’m really happy you feel comfortable enough to do that, but you still gotta call me ‘sir’, no worries though, have a good day.”
Yes you should correct them, but you can still let them breathe a bit
Yes you should correct them, but you can still let them breathe a bit
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SPC Kenneth Harris
I was also thinking that you could take the Chill Officer attitude for the first occurrence. Talk to him one on one to absolutely ensure SPC Hey Dude knows that there's a reason we have Military Customs and Courtesies that we follow - this is the United States Army. This is what we do. If it happens again, have his TL/SL sort him out. He's no longer back on the block and he needs to act like a soldier.
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SSG John Lasseigne
Got to agree with the SFC. A correction does not always have to be a dressing down. As an officer wether it is during duty hours, in or out of uniform, certain protocols and separations in station must be maintained. In a calm, but firm manner explain what is the expected form of address. If done with tact sprinkled with a little understanding ( no anger) a respectful atmosphere can be maintained.
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PO3 Pamala McBrayer
But, that may be insufficient to make a clear impression. You are a leader, on and off duty. Fraternization is to be discouraged. It WILL create unit issues among the ranks. It will breed resentments, appearances of favoritism, disregard for fellow officers and THE CHAIN OF COMMAND.
Thou shall not be too familiar with the enlisted. Better to be feared than loved—Machiavelli
Thou shall not be too familiar with the enlisted. Better to be feared than loved—Machiavelli
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I've seen this before. Solution: Use tact, pull him aside and discuss the issue. There's a place and time for "lighting up;" Professionalism is 24/7.
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MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht
Good answer. I basically said the same thing. i was drinking with the guys and one of them was a 1st LT. He wanted to be addressed as LT. I said OK then I am SGT, and he is Airman etc. We agreed to go by first names and kept on drinking. NO HEY MAN OR YO. Respect any place or person goes along way in this world. Reminds me that when our radio operator heard our co-pilot was a West Point man he called him Yankee Frank. The pilot said "WHAT DID HE SAY" Still good for a laugh.
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MAJ (Join to see)
Stop drinking with the d--chb-ag who demands you call him LT. Doesn't sound like a good drinking buddy anyway. Who cares.
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If you don't correct him then you are encouraging him to do the same thing with others. Bad actions that you don't correct in Soldiers become become bad habits in future leaders
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SGT (Join to see)
SSG Dennis Mendoza - That is fraternizing plain and simple. What is going on in these units? SFC (Join to see) LTC Jason Mackay
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MAJ (Join to see)
SFC Jason Boyd likes to read, and quote, manuals. Nice use of the capital "S" for Soldier.
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Good lord y'all are some power tripping senior's lol. If y'all are outside of work, who cares. You already said he calls you sir while you've seen him at work, so clearly this fella understands the concept of time and place. You should be happy he feels comfortable enough to even acknowledge you off base. Maybe you've made a positive impact on this dude and for you to want to fuss about something so tiny OFF base would make me feel like, "oh, he's one of those LTs". We've got more important things as war fighters than worrying about how someone didn't call you sir OFF base. For everyone saying, "wait until he calls the CO 'dude'" and other nonsense like that, throttle it back a little bit. That kind of nonsense is what drives people crazy, away from trust, and away from the military if it gets bad enough.
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SSgt Scott Ezra
SGT (Join to see)
Oh my, we do that in all the branches and don't have to be ridiculous about the officers ego.
Oh my, we do that in all the branches and don't have to be ridiculous about the officers ego.
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SGT (Join to see)
SSG Mark G Smith didn't say it was you. It was this whole thread. It stated they were outside of work. So sounds like they were off duty, he was lucky to even get acknowledged, everyone claiming he should have been officially addressed while outside of work is ridiculous. If were off work and in civilians, you shouldn't be expecting to be addressed as if you're at work. It stated that the SPC calls him sir at work, sooo it's nit as if the SPC is saying hey man while at work in uniform.
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Hell yes you should correct him. He may not be required to respect the person wearing it but certainly the rank. I remember once when I was a Lance Corporal a Major said something to me and without thinking I responded, "Yeah Man!" I immediately correctly what I said but boy did I ever get my a$$ chewed out! He didn't write me up but threatened to if I ever did it to him or any officer and he saw it again. Thanks Major William Treadwell, you made me think before speaking to an officer again!
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MAJ (Join to see)
When that happened, were you both in uniform, or in the example the OP sent us? When you were a Lance Corporal (in uniform) and said to a Major (in uniform) "Yeah, man!" , all he did was dress you down? You got off easy. Major Treadwell didn't have the time to do the paperwork pushing you down to E2 IMO.
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Cpl Vic Burk
MAJ (Join to see) - He was in uniform, I was in PT gear. I knew I got off easy with that one but I definitely watched out after that! A slip of the tongue!
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SGT (Join to see)
Thank you CSM Darieus ZaGara! I was beginning to think there were only a few NCOs on this post that were trained as I was trained. Many are talking about context. In combat arms, you are always on duty subject to muster
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MAJ (Join to see)
CSM, you are absolutely right. But what was the deficiency? How would've you handled it? That's what he's asking.
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If you couldn't dare do this yourself as a prior NCO, why would you allow a SPC to do this with you?
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