Posted on Jun 5, 2015
When No means No: A Discussion on the notorious "Welcome Home" party.
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We've all been there for one reason or another. You're back from deployment and the family has thrown you a surprise welcome home party that you made clear you didn't want. Whether you just don't feel like it, don't feel like you deserve it, or just aren't ready for that much social interaction, if you make your feelings known, family and friends should honor your wishes. Unfortunately, they always assume we are just being humble and throw some unwanted elaborate shindig you just don't want any part of...and all of a sudden, you're the bad guy, the unadjusted soldier or possible you've been labeled by others as having the dreaded PYSD sign taped to your back.
In any case, whether you identify with this or not, your wishes should be honored without question. Am I right, or am I right!? Let's hear it....
In any case, whether you identify with this or not, your wishes should be honored without question. Am I right, or am I right!? Let's hear it....
PTSD
Welcome Home
Family
Deployment
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 13
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CSM (Join to see), I didn't want, nor did I get any recognition when I came back from Vietnam. I used to not mind crowds and parties. I've tried to adapt, but I don't feel comfortable. My 70th birthday is this month. I told my wife, no parties. I don't know if she is going to have one or not.
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Spot on John.
When I got back from the gulf war and flew home in 1991 my whole family+ was there at the concourse in Philly and there was a party afterwards. After nine months deployed I still had sand in my ears didn't know how to act and certainly didn't want the attention - Hell, I was still marveling at flush toilets and couldn't stop 'keying the mike' when I talked on the phone. The last thing I wanted was to be around a ton of people who couldn't keep the noise down so I could think straight.
As far as I'm concerned, the party was for them, not me.
When I got back from the gulf war and flew home in 1991 my whole family+ was there at the concourse in Philly and there was a party afterwards. After nine months deployed I still had sand in my ears didn't know how to act and certainly didn't want the attention - Hell, I was still marveling at flush toilets and couldn't stop 'keying the mike' when I talked on the phone. The last thing I wanted was to be around a ton of people who couldn't keep the noise down so I could think straight.
As far as I'm concerned, the party was for them, not me.
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I've learned to just grin and bare some of the stuff like that, Sarge. I hold the wife and kids close and battle buddies closer. As a non participant in your welcome home party....i must say....you are a hero and you deserve a welcome home party. Enjoy the food. Never let your wife get off your arm. Set an alarm for two hours and have an exit strategy... maybe a battle buddy swings by and takes you to a round of golf??? I know I'm retarded but after 3 deployments, i found the family and friends who have been worried and praying for us while we were gone are more important than i am at gatherings like this. It's more about them than it is about me. No offense brother. Love to you and yours and thank you for keeping us free.
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SFC (Join to see)
I disagree Buddy. The SM gets a vote.
I'm a strong introvert, so I like to have my personal interactions a bit more controlled.
That said, when you are in the middle of it you should accept with a bit of grace.
I'm a strong introvert, so I like to have my personal interactions a bit more controlled.
That said, when you are in the middle of it you should accept with a bit of grace.
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SSG Buddy Kemper
Each to his own, brother. I think in my old age I've mellowed quiet a bit. But you are right to accept all things with grace. After OEF '09 I could hardly stand to get into a large crowd, such as college football games, and interstate/heavy traffic freaked me out a lot too. But I'm doing better with that now. Thanks for your service SFC (Join to see) Blesings to you and family and hope ya'll have a good weekend.
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