Posted on May 5, 2014
Why are some individuals offended when a civilian thanks them for their service? You should be proud to represent those who sacrificed.
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When I hear some individuals being offended by "thank yous" I want to throw a fit. Because these comments are NOT just about us and is NOT just combat veterans. It is about Veterans who never came home or disabled heroes (and yes I used that 'term") with no legs, arms and a voice box.
If one of these veterans lose a leg to a land mine or a booby trap they come home to stairs. They may be called baby-killers or even...... spat upon.
It is about Veterans dying from the effects of Agent Orange or the asbestos that causes lung cancers. It is also about the families who lost families and mothers who stayed behind and tried to raise their kids the best that they could.
It is about young men who were drafted before they got to experience the many joys of life. There was once a song called, "Billy Don't Be A Hero". A teenage girl is begging her boyfriend not to take too many risks and please come back. In the song he doesn't come back. She doesn't care about 'a medal'.
Those scenarios were all too common. Where the corpses of our predecessors lay deep upon jungle floors, twisted figures who will never hear the "thank yous" or some calling them a 'Hero'.
To the families, a letter and a postcard seem little consolation because those ribbons and flags will never be seen. So excuse me if false modesty seems so out of touch. Look at that older veterans who is fiercely proud that they joined.
For those military members who fixed your meals or delivered your mail are heroes of a kind. Not one of you can tell me that those letters (especially from a sweetheart) didn't make your day.
For all the young veterans who show no poise or respect-- please grow up. You dishonor yourself and your families and more than anyone you dishonor your brothers and sisters in the services.
So you see, to the Vietnam Veteran is may be payback for the indignities of post-war receptions. Many of those protestors who sat at home smoking weed and getting high and then telling the veterans that they are stupid because they served.
This is what those statements mean. It is not about them and it is not about you or I necessarily. It is about people who sacrifice and feel disgraced for their courage and their leaders resolve.
So shake hands with the WWII Veteran and Korean Veteran because before too many years it all becomes hazy and remote.
If a person thanks you be sure to stand tall and respectful because it matters.
If one of these veterans lose a leg to a land mine or a booby trap they come home to stairs. They may be called baby-killers or even...... spat upon.
It is about Veterans dying from the effects of Agent Orange or the asbestos that causes lung cancers. It is also about the families who lost families and mothers who stayed behind and tried to raise their kids the best that they could.
It is about young men who were drafted before they got to experience the many joys of life. There was once a song called, "Billy Don't Be A Hero". A teenage girl is begging her boyfriend not to take too many risks and please come back. In the song he doesn't come back. She doesn't care about 'a medal'.
Those scenarios were all too common. Where the corpses of our predecessors lay deep upon jungle floors, twisted figures who will never hear the "thank yous" or some calling them a 'Hero'.
To the families, a letter and a postcard seem little consolation because those ribbons and flags will never be seen. So excuse me if false modesty seems so out of touch. Look at that older veterans who is fiercely proud that they joined.
For those military members who fixed your meals or delivered your mail are heroes of a kind. Not one of you can tell me that those letters (especially from a sweetheart) didn't make your day.
For all the young veterans who show no poise or respect-- please grow up. You dishonor yourself and your families and more than anyone you dishonor your brothers and sisters in the services.
So you see, to the Vietnam Veteran is may be payback for the indignities of post-war receptions. Many of those protestors who sat at home smoking weed and getting high and then telling the veterans that they are stupid because they served.
This is what those statements mean. It is not about them and it is not about you or I necessarily. It is about people who sacrifice and feel disgraced for their courage and their leaders resolve.
So shake hands with the WWII Veteran and Korean Veteran because before too many years it all becomes hazy and remote.
If a person thanks you be sure to stand tall and respectful because it matters.
Heroes
Gratitude
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 18
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The only reason I can fathom for being offended when thanks for your service is if it's perceived as being insincere. So many people have 'Support Out Troops' ribbons on the vehicles and 'thanking' troops & vets for their service seems politically correct. When I joined the Army in 1978, the anti-Vietnam sentiment was still pretty common. While in dress greens in JFK airport waiting for a flight to Germany, I got quite a few glares from the youth of the day. I guess the irony is that many of those people who despised those of us in uniform at that time, now have those ribbons on their vehicles and perhaps have grandchildren in uniform. Personally, I appreciate the thanks more from other vets or SM's, since they have similarly served. I still appreciate thanks from 'civilians' but it seems awkward for many people.
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SSgt (Join to see)
I understand the 70s because I went in, in 1974. That is a major point in this discussion because we who lived it felt the sting of the insults.
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SGT Craig Northacker
The problem for many of the young folks I have spoken with is that people say thanks, but then won't offer jobs so the vets can feed their families.
I have also challenged people who say thanks for your service, but then fail to do what they are able to do in their official capacities.
I have also challenged people who say thanks for your service, but then fail to do what they are able to do in their official capacities.
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I agree with you SSgt Olson, and I actually have “conflicting” positive feelings when someone thanks me for my service. On one hand I feel appreciated for how I try to carry my fair share to give back to this incredible country and be part of something bigger than myself. On the other hand my heart wrinkles and I feel humbled because it makes me think of those that came before me and paid the ultimate price for the freedom I now have to pursue a military career.
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Sometimes it happens to me and there are times I'm caught completely off guard or the situation is very awkward and I just don't know what to say. So what it winds up being is just a short Thank you or a vow to return the favor to some other servicemember past or present.
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SSG Robin Rushlo
I also say thank you for your support. It is very odd though who says it the most. Lately it been a lot of 17 to 23 year olds.Â
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I kind of miss the old "babyraper" terms of endearment, along with the cups of coffee that those folks shared with us, shared spittle and other epithets-they let us know where we stood right from the beginning. (sic.)
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A lot of the answers here talk about what the individuals answering do when they receive a "thanks" for service, but no one really seems to have answered the questions as to WHY someone may feel offended when being thanked.
Everyone has different experiences, and everyone reacts differently to events during war. Some of have seen and done things that we are ashamed of or feel guilty for. When you're living in a state of poor mental health, possibly feeling like you've let down your brothers-in-arms, your country, or even yourself, being thanked for perceived "failures" feels like being slapped in the face. It tears open old wounds and brings out emotions that you've tried to bury. It's not so much being offended, as it is the frustration of being reminded of a past experience when you weren't expecting it.
I personally have had to LEARN to NOT be irritated. It still hurts, like being slapped on a burn, but if nothing else, I try to be polite. I simply say "thanks" back, or, if at a bar, raise my glass in acknowledgment. There is no "you're welcome" and there is no "my pleasure" because those would be lies.
Everyone has different experiences, and everyone reacts differently to events during war. Some of have seen and done things that we are ashamed of or feel guilty for. When you're living in a state of poor mental health, possibly feeling like you've let down your brothers-in-arms, your country, or even yourself, being thanked for perceived "failures" feels like being slapped in the face. It tears open old wounds and brings out emotions that you've tried to bury. It's not so much being offended, as it is the frustration of being reminded of a past experience when you weren't expecting it.
I personally have had to LEARN to NOT be irritated. It still hurts, like being slapped on a burn, but if nothing else, I try to be polite. I simply say "thanks" back, or, if at a bar, raise my glass in acknowledgment. There is no "you're welcome" and there is no "my pleasure" because those would be lies.
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SFC (Join to see)
I'll come close to being a full agreement with you but to caveat on this expression; SMs are not typically in the bright lights being thanked for their trade. We know and understand the risk, but for all the things we accomplish we are rarely recongized, so this can put SMs off a bit. Typically people, I think, are not use to it, and a lot of people think of themselves outside the uniform before being in it. We regard it as a job or career the outsiders looking in might see it as sacrifice on our part and on our families. The best thing to do is smile and say "thank you" and not let your personal emotions care past your face value of what you are to them.
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The best thing I can ever say in response to "thank you for your service" is: "It's my pleasure"
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Interesting question! From my personal perspective, I get a little embarrassed. I am proud of my service, of course, but it is what I chose to do and continue doing. But I'm never offended. I used to be unsure of how to respond. But then I got a good piece of advice from a veteran. When someone says "thanks for your service", reply with "thanks for your support!"
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