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22: That is the number of veterans that END their lives every day. That is 8,030 veterans that are no longer with us come December 31, 2014. Too many veterans are dying each year and we need to do better as a nation to battle this statistic. I, for one, almost became part of that statistic last year. I was lucky my wife somehow figured out something was not right because the VA did not help me. Instead, they kept me on a zip-lock bag of medications that I told them made me feel numb and zombie-like. The medications were the reason I was ready to take my own life. They said my medications were not the problem, I just needed to get used to the “new me”. I almost accepted their reasoning, and it would have killed me if I did.
The big problem is the stigma that goes with mental health problems. I just heard someone say the other day, “people who commit or attempt suicide are some of the weakest people.” No, we are not. Some of us have been in dark places for years and ultimately see no light at the end of the tunnel. We think the only way to feel better and alleviate the burden on our families is to end our own lives. In my mind, the stigma won’t ever leave until the whole country is educated about the mindsets of suicidal people.
We need to be more proactive in our treatments of depression and mental sickness. We need to be educated on the side effects of the medicines prescribed to us. I was guilty of taking whatever the VA prescribed me without question. It seemed like for the first 2 months, every time I turned around, more medications kept being added to battle the side effects of another. Or they would ask, “Are you still angry?” and I would say yes, so they would keep upping the dosage.
I ask you all to be a good friend and look for the red flags. If you wondering what some red flags may be, I would say listen to “Red Flags” by Soldier Hard. It is a great song that will educate those who don’t really know what to look for. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friend if he looks like he needs help – realize that a veteran who seems like he is going to hurt himself, wants and needs help whether or not he admits it. I can tell you I was afraid to admit I needed help because I felt it made me look weak.
From my personal experience, I felt lost in life because after retirement, I felt like I lost who I was. To me, I was BU2(SCW) Ferretti - Navy Seabee. I did not know how to be Corey Ferretti as a civilian. I also felt like I lost my mission in life and I could not easily get hired. When I finally did get hired, I had troubles adjusting to working there since it was so different than everything I knew. They were great employers, but I just walked out because I could not deal with my own life. I think if more veterans knew to focus on finding a new mission in life once they got out, it would help them so much. There are many veteran-focused groups out there, like Team Rubicon for example, who provide disaster relief. Find something that you love and find a way to make it your work. For me, horses saved my life. I am now apprenticing as a Farrier - I have a lot to learn, but I get to work with horses every day and they are my therapy.
I’m sure there are others on RallyPoint who wouldn’t mind sharing their stories in order to help those who might be in a bad place but don’t want to bring it up. If you’re in a bad place, I would be happy to talk more about my story if you have any questions. A question to other veterans: how have you found your new “life mission” after leaving service?
The big problem is the stigma that goes with mental health problems. I just heard someone say the other day, “people who commit or attempt suicide are some of the weakest people.” No, we are not. Some of us have been in dark places for years and ultimately see no light at the end of the tunnel. We think the only way to feel better and alleviate the burden on our families is to end our own lives. In my mind, the stigma won’t ever leave until the whole country is educated about the mindsets of suicidal people.
We need to be more proactive in our treatments of depression and mental sickness. We need to be educated on the side effects of the medicines prescribed to us. I was guilty of taking whatever the VA prescribed me without question. It seemed like for the first 2 months, every time I turned around, more medications kept being added to battle the side effects of another. Or they would ask, “Are you still angry?” and I would say yes, so they would keep upping the dosage.
I ask you all to be a good friend and look for the red flags. If you wondering what some red flags may be, I would say listen to “Red Flags” by Soldier Hard. It is a great song that will educate those who don’t really know what to look for. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friend if he looks like he needs help – realize that a veteran who seems like he is going to hurt himself, wants and needs help whether or not he admits it. I can tell you I was afraid to admit I needed help because I felt it made me look weak.
From my personal experience, I felt lost in life because after retirement, I felt like I lost who I was. To me, I was BU2(SCW) Ferretti - Navy Seabee. I did not know how to be Corey Ferretti as a civilian. I also felt like I lost my mission in life and I could not easily get hired. When I finally did get hired, I had troubles adjusting to working there since it was so different than everything I knew. They were great employers, but I just walked out because I could not deal with my own life. I think if more veterans knew to focus on finding a new mission in life once they got out, it would help them so much. There are many veteran-focused groups out there, like Team Rubicon for example, who provide disaster relief. Find something that you love and find a way to make it your work. For me, horses saved my life. I am now apprenticing as a Farrier - I have a lot to learn, but I get to work with horses every day and they are my therapy.
I’m sure there are others on RallyPoint who wouldn’t mind sharing their stories in order to help those who might be in a bad place but don’t want to bring it up. If you’re in a bad place, I would be happy to talk more about my story if you have any questions. A question to other veterans: how have you found your new “life mission” after leaving service?
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 71
That number would be too high at one. While suicide prevention is adressed and counseling and help offered, improvements still need made. Often times starting with family and friends just paying attention and listening. Then when families or friends do try to get help for individuals they often run into barriers or are not heard. It is wonderful to hear that your wife identified the issue and helped save your life. God bless you, and thank you for speaking out.
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MSgt (Join to see)
Unfortunately that happens way too often. You being brave enough to share your story will undoubtedly help others.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
SFC Boots Attaway They do have groups that educate the family. I know that a provider will help educate a family on what is going on. But there are times when the family does not want to understand because then they would have to admit the spouse, child, brother, sister is headed down a path of self destruction. After i got out of the hospital it was the elephant in the room no one wanted to talk about it but they all had questions.
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SGT Brian Richardson
PO2 Corey Ferretti - My prayers are with you. Thanks for sharing your story. You matter!
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Here is the back of the shirt I wear frequently. They are available through rangerup.com and a portion of the sales goes to Team Rubicon.
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It means that 22 have felt by the treatment or lack of treatment no one CARES how they are or feel. No one wants to help.
Time to stop this and vote the stupidity away. Starting in OK
Time to stop this and vote the stupidity away. Starting in OK
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Yes there is a big problem when it comes to those in office but the worst part is when we are failed by the "proffessionals" who are suppose to be there to help us. Mine kept adding meds and upping the dosage. instead of trying to get to the root of the problem she kept adding more. Even after i told her i was like a zombie. I whole hardheartedly believe mental health providers need more training. Just because you have a Doctorate does not mean you know what you are doing. I think to work with people who are suicidal you need to be specialized. I have had my best treatment by Social workers.
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SSgt Harvey "Skip" Porter
If it was just one politician committing suicide a month they would panic and assemble a panel off experts to figure out why it's happening and spend billions in the process. However it's 22 Veterans a day and with them it's business as usual. Do they really care I don't think so. They so busy arguing, pointing the finger at each other until they are out of touch with real issues. Veterans committing suicide is a real American issue. However I don't think they get the importance of it. They so focused on diversion tactics talking about professional ball players and all. That's a bunch of BS nonsense. Let's face it people we stuck with Senators and Congressional officials who don't have Veterans best interest in mind. The issues that are important to them are self centered and to take care their rich friends.
Peace!
Peace!
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Bless you for being brave enough to share your personal experience. I'm glad you are still with us brother. I believe until the stigma is removed, more folks will hide in the shadows ashamed to have their conditions known and fearful of the potent medications.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you PV2 (Join to see). You are right the stigma is probably holding alot of people back from help. I deal with people who use the Stigma to talk about the one who have taken there life. Thank you for reading and responding to my post.
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It means we haven't done a very good job looking after our brothers and sisters who didn't come back whole. Because the stat has actually gone up to 23 per day. That's why I've joined groups like http://www.warriorpointe.org and http://www.battle-bro.com
The VA hasn't done their job and I have no confidence they will get better. It's up to us. We are our brother's keeper.
The VA hasn't done their job and I have no confidence they will get better. It's up to us. We are our brother's keeper.
Welcome to Warrior Pointe. Our oath has no expiration date, our enlistment or commission may have ended, but our oath has not. We are the uncommon few that share the common bond of Duty, Honor, and Country. This organization is the rallying point for all veterans who have honorably served this great nation we call the United States of America.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you PO3 Brendan "Smitty" Smith I did not know about these sites i will look into these. Thank you for sharing. Yes i have to agree i have lost my faith in the VA when it comes to my long term mental health care. They failed me when i needed it most. Again thanks for sharing the web sites im going to check them out.
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I almost took my own life last Christmas after a nasty divorce that left me with nothing but a pile of debt that my ex wracked up. Now I wear this shirt because I was fortunate not to be one of the "22" that day. If any of you are struggling please reach out!
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SSG Jim Foreman
SGT Brian Richardson, I am so glad you are here to share your story. Continue to stay strong and fight. If we all take care of each other hopefully one day that number will be zero.
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SGT Charles Vernier
SGT James Hastings, PO2 Corey Ferretti I'm glad all of us are still here. Let's keep it that way!
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Honestly, reading this actually made me a little sick to my stomach. I can't say that I am surprised. I certainly don't remember a time in my life that we have taken care of Veterans and I am sad to say that I don't know if I am ever going to see a time that we do. The VA seems to continue to take one step forward and two steps back. Everyone is so outraged time and time again when they hear the atrocities that are committed in the VA system. So what do we do? We appoint a new Secretary and we think we have fixed something.
I have said this before and I will say it again. What is more important then a country taking care of those that put their lives on the line in defense of their country?
I have said this before and I will say it again. What is more important then a country taking care of those that put their lives on the line in defense of their country?
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you PO2 Jonathan Scharff for reading and your post. Yes i dont know why they think they think firing a secretary and hiring a new one will fix it. The VA needs to be rebuild from the ground up. Better training for the staff and they need to get off healing by pills because it is not working they need to work more on getting to the root of the problem. It is not comfortable but it will help more in the long run.
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PO3 Brendan "Smitty" Smith
PO2 Corey Ferretti I'm the Warrior Pointe State CO for Texas. If you have any question, feel free to reach out to me.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Ok PO3 Brendan "Smitty" Smith i will still have to go and look at the page. Got side tracked last night.
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SSG Mike Sommer I say more agencies e.g. DAV, American Legion, VFW and the Veteran Affairs must make a stand on suicide and advocate programs to help Veterans.
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I believe it comes down to finding a purpose greater than self, be that family, God or some worthy cause. That’s the first step, the second is having a strong support network. People that love you, know you, accept you and understand that the combination of your injuries and medicines can put you in a state that makes death very attractive. I think the solution would be making sure every Veteran had those two things, I have no idea how we could do that.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
This is so true finding a new purpose is key. I did not realize this till i listened to a speech by Soldier hard saying we need to find new purpose in life. Yeah the hard thing was my parents did not know how to handle it they kept telling me i was being a victim. it pissed me off and made me feel worse. Yeah the hard part is getting Veterans to understand this. I still have friends who think that constant depression and being on the edge of ending ones life is normal and they cant get better. It frustrating but they are not ready to listen becuase i have tried to explain to them but "theres is diffrent". Thank you for taking your time to read.
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SGT Brian Richardson
SSG (Join to see) - I agree. I can't imagine going thru life without my faith in God and close friends. My son's mother took her life (also a vet) a couple years ago because I don't think she had either.
It's important for everyone to have a solid group of friends to "do life" with whether mental health is an issue or not. If we all take the time to be that close friend, we'd all be in better shape.
Thank you everyone that has posted here. I hope it brings the issue a bit more to the front so we can all talk about it and find the best way to deal with it. You guys rock!
It's important for everyone to have a solid group of friends to "do life" with whether mental health is an issue or not. If we all take the time to be that close friend, we'd all be in better shape.
Thank you everyone that has posted here. I hope it brings the issue a bit more to the front so we can all talk about it and find the best way to deal with it. You guys rock!
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SGT Quinn Reels
VETERAN SUICIDES YES IT IS TO HIGH.I HAD 3 ATTEMPTS MYSELF SO I MAKE IT MY BUSINESS TO REACH OUT
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you for sharing SGT Quinn Reels glad you are still with us brother. Sorry about the delay in replying to this.
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