Posted on May 25, 2014
3 Things Veterans Think About On Memorial Day
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For those of us who have worn the military uniform, Memorial Day reminds us of the things we’ve fought for, those we’ve lost, and the impact our efforts may have had on the people we meant to serve, and the missions we meant to complete.
Memorial Day is a holiday that should be appreciated by everyone, but I don’t fault those who don’t pay the day’s significance the attention it deserves. This is because Memorial Day is only truly felt by the military community; our emotions are authentic and personal, and are difficult to sufficiently explain to someone outside the military space. It’s just not possible for them to relive experiences they’ve never had or reflect on things their eyes have never seen. As veterans, we can’t fault them for that.
I spent 5 years in the Army and just turned 30 in February. Millions before me served longer than I did, and all of us have our own private set of good and bad memories from the service. I served 15 months in Iraq, came home, left the Army in 2011, went to school, and now spend my days as a civilian.
Along the way, I’ve kept in touch with old military friends and made new ones. We don’t discuss the military as much as you might think. But as a day like Memorial Day approaches, I’ve come to realize that despite our diverse military experiences, our hearts and minds spend time reflecting on three themes, which I’ll touch on below.
First, as I sit quietly, a flood of memories -- even the smallest ones -- somehow begin to resurface en masse: the day I commissioned into the Army, my first patrol in Iraq, training exercises, epic pranks my Soldiers played on me, and then others I’d like to forget.
In the 3 years since I left the military, I’ve been unable to sufficiently ‘translate’ the personal meaning of these experiences for non-veterans. But I believe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Those who also served will understand my stories well, yet in their own way -- through the lens of their own military experiences. This is why we can connect so well with one another. This is also why veterans don’t talk about it very much outside of our own circles.
Second, I think about my old military friends and how they’ve been doing since we got back from Iraq. I was fortunate to serve alongside incredible people. I wonder what they’re doing now -- how are they holding up? Are they dads (or moms) now? Do they ever think about our time in Iraq? On Memorial Day I wonder where life has taken all of them, and wish them well.
Third, I wonder whether the things we all did in Iraq are going to achieve what our superiors hoped they would. Thousands of service members laid down their lives in the name of completing some mission on some day, in some village half a world away -- for local families whose names they probably never knew. If America’s long-term vision for Iraq (and Afghanistan) is not achieved in the coming years, then will these heroes’ sacrifices still be meaningful for the locals whose lives they touched? Will they be forgotten?
So as I reflect this Memorial Day, I wish all veterans and their families well. Especially those who are wearing the military uniform right now. As for those who I served with and lost touch with, my heart hopes they’ve found their way forward regardless of the path they have chosen. I hope on the 26th, their families and friends will give them an extra long hug, an extra long phone call, and an extra firm handshake of thanks.
Memorial Day is a holiday that should be appreciated by everyone, but I don’t fault those who don’t pay the day’s significance the attention it deserves. This is because Memorial Day is only truly felt by the military community; our emotions are authentic and personal, and are difficult to sufficiently explain to someone outside the military space. It’s just not possible for them to relive experiences they’ve never had or reflect on things their eyes have never seen. As veterans, we can’t fault them for that.
I spent 5 years in the Army and just turned 30 in February. Millions before me served longer than I did, and all of us have our own private set of good and bad memories from the service. I served 15 months in Iraq, came home, left the Army in 2011, went to school, and now spend my days as a civilian.
Along the way, I’ve kept in touch with old military friends and made new ones. We don’t discuss the military as much as you might think. But as a day like Memorial Day approaches, I’ve come to realize that despite our diverse military experiences, our hearts and minds spend time reflecting on three themes, which I’ll touch on below.
First, as I sit quietly, a flood of memories -- even the smallest ones -- somehow begin to resurface en masse: the day I commissioned into the Army, my first patrol in Iraq, training exercises, epic pranks my Soldiers played on me, and then others I’d like to forget.
In the 3 years since I left the military, I’ve been unable to sufficiently ‘translate’ the personal meaning of these experiences for non-veterans. But I believe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Those who also served will understand my stories well, yet in their own way -- through the lens of their own military experiences. This is why we can connect so well with one another. This is also why veterans don’t talk about it very much outside of our own circles.
Second, I think about my old military friends and how they’ve been doing since we got back from Iraq. I was fortunate to serve alongside incredible people. I wonder what they’re doing now -- how are they holding up? Are they dads (or moms) now? Do they ever think about our time in Iraq? On Memorial Day I wonder where life has taken all of them, and wish them well.
Third, I wonder whether the things we all did in Iraq are going to achieve what our superiors hoped they would. Thousands of service members laid down their lives in the name of completing some mission on some day, in some village half a world away -- for local families whose names they probably never knew. If America’s long-term vision for Iraq (and Afghanistan) is not achieved in the coming years, then will these heroes’ sacrifices still be meaningful for the locals whose lives they touched? Will they be forgotten?
So as I reflect this Memorial Day, I wish all veterans and their families well. Especially those who are wearing the military uniform right now. As for those who I served with and lost touch with, my heart hopes they’ve found their way forward regardless of the path they have chosen. I hope on the 26th, their families and friends will give them an extra long hug, an extra long phone call, and an extra firm handshake of thanks.
Memorial Day
Remembrance
Honor
Command Post
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 57
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We are prone to remember the veterans that have served in all of America's wars. But there are many veterans that have served between wars these people also served. If only to keep the continuity of the military.
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Agree with all my Brothers and sisters on this page. It is true that some civilians have no idea what this day is about.For me This is etched in my mind 24/7. From Vietnam to Beirut to Somalia and every hell hole in Between. Most civilians show respect in the only way they know,By at least remembering. Others think of it as BBQ's and sales events. That's just the way it is. Me I have been Happily married to My wife of 32 yrs,most of that as a Navy wife(25yrs4mos23days.
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Memorial Day is. Day where we should pay respects for those that ultimately paid the price, those that have served or are currently serving. And the families of those in the service or was because they have serve as well on the home front while we were gone. We need to cherish the times we have with our families and friends. May God bless all who have served or are serving !!!
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Excellent personal story and discussion of Memorial Day, I couldn't agree more! Thank you and Dominic and Co-founder for this site, a great accomplishment :). Shon Hill
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When I read this, I immediately thought back on my service and training while enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. The life lessons that were learned and the many wonderful people that I came in contact with, I will never forget the bonds that were created. They will forever impact every aspect of my life; no matter what I do or how for we are apart...those who I have served with and some whom I have lost, are always in my prayers and thoughts. There is also a special life bond created when you serve in a War with people, you become Family!! This is the significance of all Military Holidays, especially Memorial Day....The Ultimate Sacrifice...some gave limbs, others gave their life...and for that I am truly grateful!!!
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Being Navy and serving mostly in non-combat areas of the world, it was harder for me to really relate to some of the things others have seen and done. That is until my first loss overseas. We were in Thailand on R&R after a long deployment in the Indian Ocean. Five ships of the Squadron were at anchor and sending Liberty ashore. We were going to spend almost a week in port having fun and even meeting some of the wives. Some went to Bangkok and explored the country.
One of our Mess Management Specialists on the ship I was assigned to was careless when he crossed the street and was hit by a taxi. As a result he was killed. I was the Squadron Career Counselor and was tasked to act as the Grief Counselor for the crew of the Ship, A duty I was prepared for, but poorly. Mostly this was OJT and I learned a lot about the role.
One thing I will never forget is the memorial service conducted by the Squadron Chaplin after we got underway. All Hands, not involved in running the ship mustered on the fantail. During the Service, the crew sung "Eternal Father." Ever since the I have not been able to hear or sing it without being taken back to this moment in time. As the deck rolled under us, 100 men sang and cried.
That was at the 10 year point of my career. Since then, I have lost many other Sailors and a few marines I knew. None however had a bigger impact than this first loss. On Memorial Day I remember him and all of my other Brothers. Then I reflect on my family, my father and Uncles who also served and are all gone now, and finally on all of our other Brothers in Arms. Thank you all for your service.
One of our Mess Management Specialists on the ship I was assigned to was careless when he crossed the street and was hit by a taxi. As a result he was killed. I was the Squadron Career Counselor and was tasked to act as the Grief Counselor for the crew of the Ship, A duty I was prepared for, but poorly. Mostly this was OJT and I learned a lot about the role.
One thing I will never forget is the memorial service conducted by the Squadron Chaplin after we got underway. All Hands, not involved in running the ship mustered on the fantail. During the Service, the crew sung "Eternal Father." Ever since the I have not been able to hear or sing it without being taken back to this moment in time. As the deck rolled under us, 100 men sang and cried.
That was at the 10 year point of my career. Since then, I have lost many other Sailors and a few marines I knew. None however had a bigger impact than this first loss. On Memorial Day I remember him and all of my other Brothers. Then I reflect on my family, my father and Uncles who also served and are all gone now, and finally on all of our other Brothers in Arms. Thank you all for your service.
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SN (Join to see)
Losing a relative or friend in the Armed Forces is never easy and isn't meant to be...what it is meant is for us to live our lives to the fullest and always remember the sacrifices those who weren't able to come home made for us...
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SGT Ronald Audas
My condolences for the loss of a shipmate.The loss of "one of yours" can never be excepted gently.I remember a too young 17 year old who committed suicide in the houch while we were on patrol.When we returned,non of us wanted to sleep in the houch out of respect for him.He would have been with us if we hadn`t refused to go out with him.How easy to forget what a fragile mind may do.This is not intended as a war story,only that it doesn`t matter if you see combat or not,we are all part of a team to be honored.
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CMDCM Gene Treants
So sorry for your loss Sgt Audas. The errors of our youth often haunt us for years after. The "if onlys" can never be answered and never be undone. I hope you have found peace in knowing that he is at rest and your patrol was not really at fault.
If you want/need to talk I will be available at any time.
If you want/need to talk I will be available at any time.
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SGT Ronald Audas
Thanks for the offer,but i`m good.that was in 1966.proud to be able to remember past yesterday.
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Well said sir. We all reflect in our own way. Whether that way is going to a cemetery to pay respects, or flipping through a photo album of units' past, or sitting on the porch and remembering a friend who did not make it home, whatever the means that you select, take some time and do so. It is not only important to reflect to keep memories and friends alive, but it is also good for yourself to remember and reflect.
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