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Don't Ask for a Mentor- Ask for Advice !
Mentorship is the voluntary developmental relationship the exists between a person of greater experience and a person of lessor experience that is characterized by mutual trust and respect. (AR 600-100)
There is no predetermined manner in which one enters into a Mentor-Mentee relationship. You generally do not ask for mentorship, it is a natural unspoken expansion of an existing relationship. Mentorship is a very personal and voluntary evolution based on trust and chemistry. This generally starts with the less experienced member asking for simple advice (Personal or Professional). If the advice given is "Not Awesome" the less experienced person will likely not return for future help. Similarly, if the more experienced person doesn't see potential or feels there are ulterior motives he or she will walk away. However, once a mentorship begins there are three communication decisions to make: Frequency, Medium, and Topics. The needs of the mentee and the maturity of the relationship determines the frequency of interaction. In our experience, the amount of mentorship increases and decreases constantly over time. A pattern also develops on the type of communication (Face to Face/ Phone/ Written). The most effective and efficient method for both parties is critical as their lives and geographic location change. The topics of conversation are limitless, but finding common ground that aligns with the mentor's expertise and the mentee's need is critical to the relationship's growth. Having participated in the mentor/mentee selection and method of communication process no less than 30 times, one thing remained constant in each process. Never have the following words been spoken, "Will you be my mentor?" Each started with someone asking for advice!
Mentorship is the voluntary developmental relationship the exists between a person of greater experience and a person of lessor experience that is characterized by mutual trust and respect. (AR 600-100)
There is no predetermined manner in which one enters into a Mentor-Mentee relationship. You generally do not ask for mentorship, it is a natural unspoken expansion of an existing relationship. Mentorship is a very personal and voluntary evolution based on trust and chemistry. This generally starts with the less experienced member asking for simple advice (Personal or Professional). If the advice given is "Not Awesome" the less experienced person will likely not return for future help. Similarly, if the more experienced person doesn't see potential or feels there are ulterior motives he or she will walk away. However, once a mentorship begins there are three communication decisions to make: Frequency, Medium, and Topics. The needs of the mentee and the maturity of the relationship determines the frequency of interaction. In our experience, the amount of mentorship increases and decreases constantly over time. A pattern also develops on the type of communication (Face to Face/ Phone/ Written). The most effective and efficient method for both parties is critical as their lives and geographic location change. The topics of conversation are limitless, but finding common ground that aligns with the mentor's expertise and the mentee's need is critical to the relationship's growth. Having participated in the mentor/mentee selection and method of communication process no less than 30 times, one thing remained constant in each process. Never have the following words been spoken, "Will you be my mentor?" Each started with someone asking for advice!
Mentorship
Mentor
Command Post
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 26
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How do you get a Mentor?
Great question Sir.... usually a Mentor gets you... Someone comes along who thinks you have a lot of potential and wants to see you succeed so they provide advice and guidance.. I was fortunate to have a close friend and mentor but he passed in December 2009....
Great question Sir.... usually a Mentor gets you... Someone comes along who thinks you have a lot of potential and wants to see you succeed so they provide advice and guidance.. I was fortunate to have a close friend and mentor but he passed in December 2009....
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CPT (Join to see)
I would agree. I have seen some that are going places. I do what ever I can to offer them assistance and hope they can avoid some of the pitfalls that I have made.
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Sadly, I have been on the side where I have had to ask for advice and receive not so good advice. I have always ended up making my own style based on my experiences with my former/current leaders (good and bad aspects). Because of this, I ensure that I am mentoring my people as best as I can.
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MSG (Join to see)
COL (Join to see) - Sir, thank you. I truly do not want my Soldiers to experience the bad aspects of leaders so I try my best to not be in that category. I know it is going to happen at some point in their tenure, but not under my watch as long as I can help it.
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How do you get a mentor? Several different ways:
- Slow approach. Develop a relationship with a person whose opinion you value. Eventually it turns into a mentor relationship.
- Fast approach. Ask a person to be your mentor.
- Easy approach. Sometimes a mentor finds you and seeks you out to be a mentee.
- Effective approach. You get out of a relationship what you put into a relationship. A mentor-mentee relationship, like a marriage or a friendship, requires consistent and sustained effort by both parties. In other words, getting a mentor is easy, keeping the mentor-mentee relationship is the hard part.
- Slow approach. Develop a relationship with a person whose opinion you value. Eventually it turns into a mentor relationship.
- Fast approach. Ask a person to be your mentor.
- Easy approach. Sometimes a mentor finds you and seeks you out to be a mentee.
- Effective approach. You get out of a relationship what you put into a relationship. A mentor-mentee relationship, like a marriage or a friendship, requires consistent and sustained effort by both parties. In other words, getting a mentor is easy, keeping the mentor-mentee relationship is the hard part.
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I'm not going to simply pile on and say the same thing everyone else has already said. Maybe I'll just say it in a different way...
Mentoring begins with a question. The question is a sign of a person's willingness to seek help. The answer is the mentor's method of expressing the willingness to mentor. Acting on that answer and testing its efficacy is how you signal that you are a willing student.
From that point on, the relationship between mentor and student simply develops...
...or it doesn't.
Mentoring begins with a question. The question is a sign of a person's willingness to seek help. The answer is the mentor's method of expressing the willingness to mentor. Acting on that answer and testing its efficacy is how you signal that you are a willing student.
From that point on, the relationship between mentor and student simply develops...
...or it doesn't.
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I never asked. There is that one person that seems to have a great military head on their shoulders. Those are the ones who will never turn you away when you look for advice about a specific problem. Sometimes they had to fail miserably due to the situation and have learned powerful lessons. It isn't always the 'winner' of the race that gives the best ideas on how to improve your run, so to speak.
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SGT Michael Glenn
I didnt ask, he just appeared in front of me one day in the shape of my Platoon Sergeant. SFC Roderick O. Williams a better NCO I have never met, he was calm and pointed out my mistakes I made and stood up for me MANY times when I had done something to piss the command off but was in the right for doing what ever I did. Miss him a lot.
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COL (Join to see) Very helpful advice. Every mentor relationship I've had, always started off with casual conversation about career path. You'll never know 100% of the answers you never ask for.
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The initial phases of a seeking a mentor are usually informal and start with one recognizing someone who has it together and leading by example. There may not even be communication initially, but the evolution of making formal could possibly develop. If the mentor and mentee wish, they could enter a contract where each has responsibilities to develop. initially I listened to senior warrant officers, some had the right thing to say, others not so much. I never entered a formal program, but received much counseling and mentorship through flight lead programs, training and just good ole fashioned Friday afternoon officer's call.
A good search to read up on Mentorship is COL Mark Melanson, a medical service corps officer who did countless articles on mentorship. Great reads.
A good search to read up on Mentorship is COL Mark Melanson, a medical service corps officer who did countless articles on mentorship. Great reads.
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COL (Join to see)
I usually had protegees come to me and ask me to be their official mentor. I was always humbled and honored and am proud to say that more than one of my former protegees went on to make Chief Petty Officer.
I usually had protegees come to me and ask me to be their official mentor. I was always humbled and honored and am proud to say that more than one of my former protegees went on to make Chief Petty Officer.
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I had several in each of the three branches in which I served. Good men all. Very good men.
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I have personally found informal mentorships to be significantly more beneficial than formal ones. Formal of course are still far better than none though. Mentoring requirements (in my not so humble opinion) are there for the people who otherwise would never ask for advice.
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