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I asked a former female Marine if she had experienced an overwhelming amount of sexual harassment/assault while she served in the Corps. To my extreme surprise this was her response (paraphrased of course):
No. No, not at all. One time I was in the barracks and a guy in my unit snuck into my room and tried forcing himself on me. I started screaming and within a few seconds this whole crowd of Marines came barging into my room and carried him off. They’re my brothers, why would they let anyone hurt me?
Now THAT is honor and loyalty.
This brought tears to my eyes for two reasons.
Reason One: I was so overwhelmed and happy these Marines heard a fellow Marine in trouble and they came running to her rescue. There was no hesitation, no passive intervention and no second thoughts. That's just mind-blowing to me.
Reason Two: My mind was blown because very rarely has a male Soldier stood up for me like that. Matter of fact, I rarely hear any male Soldiers stand up for women like that.
I was raised where men watch their mouths around women, men hold open doors for ladies, and men take out the trash while women wash the dishes. I understand and learn more every day how the military is far from being the Southern paradise where knights in shining armor rescue damsels in distress. I also understand some women don’t like being treated that way. Roger, tracking.
Maybe those Marines who busted in her room didn’t care that she was a woman, they just heard one of their fellow Marines in trouble. Regardless of why, their actions and her response portrayed a very different world from what I know in the Army and that saddens me.
Is it sexist for me to expect male Soldiers to stand up for female Soldiers? Maybe so.
Is it too much to ask for Soldiers to stand up for Soldiers, regardless of gender? I don't think so.
No. No, not at all. One time I was in the barracks and a guy in my unit snuck into my room and tried forcing himself on me. I started screaming and within a few seconds this whole crowd of Marines came barging into my room and carried him off. They’re my brothers, why would they let anyone hurt me?
Now THAT is honor and loyalty.
This brought tears to my eyes for two reasons.
Reason One: I was so overwhelmed and happy these Marines heard a fellow Marine in trouble and they came running to her rescue. There was no hesitation, no passive intervention and no second thoughts. That's just mind-blowing to me.
Reason Two: My mind was blown because very rarely has a male Soldier stood up for me like that. Matter of fact, I rarely hear any male Soldiers stand up for women like that.
I was raised where men watch their mouths around women, men hold open doors for ladies, and men take out the trash while women wash the dishes. I understand and learn more every day how the military is far from being the Southern paradise where knights in shining armor rescue damsels in distress. I also understand some women don’t like being treated that way. Roger, tracking.
Maybe those Marines who busted in her room didn’t care that she was a woman, they just heard one of their fellow Marines in trouble. Regardless of why, their actions and her response portrayed a very different world from what I know in the Army and that saddens me.
Is it sexist for me to expect male Soldiers to stand up for female Soldiers? Maybe so.
Is it too much to ask for Soldiers to stand up for Soldiers, regardless of gender? I don't think so.
Sexual Harassment
Sexual Assault
Gender
Women in the Military
Command Post
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 197
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I don't think it's sexist to expect male soldiers to stick up for female soldiers at all. Just like I would expect a soldier to stick up for another soldier, REGARDLESS of their gender. Females can stick up for males the same way. We need to start looking out for each other. I never liked the "Army of One" motto the Army once used. It tells me "you're on your own! Good luck!"
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All these responses have me thinking about in the way how some people think. I was in the ARMY from 04-09. I was sexually assaulted by my SGM. Everyone acted like I was crazy when I brought it up, Higher command at San Antonio ignored me. I tried fighting and fighting til the point CID tells me that Statue of limitations has expired. Thank you very much. So male to male assault cases are just cases that no one wants to know about or deal with. The people fail people not the system. So some people will not understand, they will never do. Good to know that marine was helped.
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SGT (Join to see)
SPC Robert Reyes, thank you for your courage. Command failed you, but I hope you have found some measure of peace. I hope that POS SGM lost every single bit of credibility he ever thought he'd earned. Thank you again for sharing.
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SFC (Join to see)
SPC Robert Reyes, yes the command did fail you. I constantly deal with sexual assault in the Army. It is very rarely when we get male on male cases (I'm sure they're less reported than male on female), but the point is that when I get a sexual assault case, I treat it the same regardless of what gender(s) is/are involved. I wish others would do the same instead of dismissing the allegations. And thank you for having the courage to come forward and share your story with us!
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SPC Robert Reyes
Thank you SFC (Join to see) and SGT (Join to see) for the support both of you have given me.
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LTC John Wilson
I am sorry for your mistreatment and thank you for having the courage to tell your story. There are plenty of male on male assaults that go unreported or uninvestigated after the complaint is made. all the best!
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As a Marine veteran, I agree. The Corps trains you to see all Marines as your brothers and sisters, to be willing to die for them if necessary, and to trust that they will back you to the death. Although the culture of the Corps is generally more conservative than the other services, we also have the smallest percentage of women (about 20%, I believe) in our ranks and we respect those who are able to earn the title, male or female. Furthermore, Marines are segregated by gender in recruit training and Marine Combat Training, so that there is no possibility of fraternization during those initial months of training. While I have no doubt that the occasional bad apple acts out, I also have faith that fellow Marines would step in to squelch that foolishness just as you described. Oorah!
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SSG Woods, your story as you recount it should bring tears to all our eyes . . . Isn't that we joined, to defend people who could not defend themselves? My best friend in the Marine Corps saved his roommates life, from a suicide attempt while at the Basic School in 1990. It was a heroic act, on the same moral level as rushing into that room and saving that female Marine from a Sexual Assault. "Looking out for each other" is not some slogan, or the last thing you hear in a Liberty Briefing. It is at the core of who we are and who we are supposed to be, and who we are called to be when we take the Oath of Office and Put on the Uniform of the Best Country on Earth. Army Navy Air Force and Marines . . . being loyal to your fellow Marine or Soldier means never having to explain why you didn't stand up for someone who needed your help. You are always prepared mentally, and physically, and MORALLY to do the right thing, when the time comes to act, when you are faced with that awful decision point? Do I speak up when I hear a sexist or pejorative comment? Do I set the tone in my section squad or platoon, that all hands will be treated fairly, and that there is no room for sexism or bullying of any kind? This is leadership, this is what it looks like, what it sounds like, what it feels like. It is palpable, it is real, you can almost taste it. When it is not there, when it is absent, you can feel that cold chill as well.
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Having served in both the Marines and the Army, I can attest to the differences in the way the two branches of service operate. As a general statement, the Army does not have the tight camaraderie and unit cohesion that the Marines hold dearly. It is quite sad but my Army counterparts laugh it off to little more than Marines being mindless. Personally, I don't see how taking care of your own is a bad thing.
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SGT Suraj Dave
SSG,
I am not sure about what units you have been in. By looking at your MOS I am going to guess FSC's, BSB's, Sustainment BDE's, etc...
My last unit, I was the senior medic in a QRF platoon. We were all very close knit, we were like a family.
I am not sure about what units you have been in. By looking at your MOS I am going to guess FSC's, BSB's, Sustainment BDE's, etc...
My last unit, I was the senior medic in a QRF platoon. We were all very close knit, we were like a family.
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SFC(P) (Join to see)
SGT, I understand that some units are closer than others, and I realize that it is possible that the roll of the dice just put me in units that were undisciplined and not close knit. I'm sure there are Army units out there with the unit cohesion that I've seen in the Corps. I have found, through experience and conversations, that those units are the exception not the norm. Luckily for me, my section has always been tight, but not the unit as a whole.
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MAJ David Vermillion
Great comment, however having served in the Special Forces I do believe the tight team effort is there and unity is even after we leave the service.
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This was a great commentary on Marine philosophy - even back in the early 80's we had 'light green' and 'dark green' Marines. It didn't matter if you were male or female and it wasn't a derogatory term - it focused on the fact that everyone was a Marine we were all part of one cohesive group. Each fire team, platoon or even bigger groups would be like family - and woe to anyone who 'messed' with anyone in that 'family'. We all looked out for each other at all times. I am glad to hear that this has endured.
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I find myself wondering if this thread will take on a life of its own like the "Salute" thread.
Opinions, CPT (Join to see) and SSG V. Michelle Woods?
Opinions, CPT (Join to see) and SSG V. Michelle Woods?
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CPT (Join to see)
I am not sure. I doubt anything will raise to "that discussion." I still go back and fan the fires once in a while to ensure still keeps going.
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SSG V. Michelle Woods I hear what your saying and I agree with you. But I have to take it a step forward, I would say that it should be a soldier's duty to always look out for their battle buddies. Yes there will be times when you drive each other up a wall but at the end of the day there will always be that trust between battle buddies. Because there has to be, because if you can't trust each other to look after one another during simple exercises how will you trust each other when things are at their worst and the sh-- hits the fan. Regardless of whether its protecting a battle buddy from sexual assault or anything else I don't think it's too much to ask soldiers to just look out for one another. I'm very glad to hear that the Marine in your story had good friends that understood that.
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SSG V. Michelle Woods, I was raised to respect women, and the Military. So when I joined the Army I started showing respect for women in the military above what was expected. I try to consider everyone's opinions, and if you ever need someone to watch your back contact me. You outranked me, but that doesn't matter you deserve the respect of the rank, soldier and female service member. Anyone who wants to argue this point with me feel free. I've got your back SSG Woods, and any female military service members that need it.
Charles
Charles
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I had a few encounters... one mildly subversive, but yet not unnoticed by my supervisor who helped get things back straight with said individual and once with a co-worker, who allowed his cultural ideologies get in the way of a professional relationship... I worked in mostly male work-centers and felt accepted at all levels... I feel lucky that my generation of military service members carried a sense of honor and duty from day one... To be in the military, regardless of branch, should automatically instill that sense of Esprit De Corp at all times... This should never be a question... Sadly, it is....
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