Toxic Vets - The Poisonous Legacy of Ft. McClellan

How to open up and get back into the world from news of being exposed to toxins and you have closed yourself off due to anxiety attacks.
I had been sick off and on in my life but was able to hide it other then when needing doctors and then about 3 yrs ago I had a break down, I had one in the military too, but this time I shut myself off from people and was having anxiety attacks again. My friends and family do not understand, that is why I love RP so much. But I want to get back out in the world. I have heard some say they find it hard to believe because of how strong I used to be. But I was good at covering up my troubles with smiles and jokes and trying to help others to make myself feel better. But now I have troubles helping myself. Never crying. Then one day I overheard a guy talking about his brothers symptoms and Ft Mac so I went on line all alone here and read about it on all types of sites and researched it to find all our symptoms seem to be the same. It has been hard going out in the public and It is a small town where everyone pretty much nos everyone. At first it was hard to face and tell people because when I went to the VA doctor one day he said he could not believe I have lived this long. And the psychiatrist asked what he could do for me. I said give me, me back. He said they couldn't do that no cures for me. But a few friends don't hang around to long cause they have a difficult time with talking to me. But some now are just happy to see me even a few minutes when they can and tell me they would like to see me out more. But going to the grocery store and in public to just pay bills and get groceries can get overwelming because I bump into people I have not seen in awhile and then we try to talk. They just don't understand it and actually neither do I. If anyone can give some advise how they were able to do it getting out in the public again without anxiety attacks or headaches I would love to hear it. I see why they call it a toxic soup because it is like something that simmers for awhile then out of the blue will try to boil over. I miss my life very much it does seem to go better for me if I have a friend along but lately I hand more with older veterans who can't do trips very well either. If I go to dinner I have to have my back to the wall etc...thanks for any advice you can share with me.