Posted on Jun 11, 2016
CPT Assistant Operations Officer (S3)
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I am pretty sure most of us have been smoked in the past. I, myself, set a record at the Alabama Military Academy (National Guard Accelerated OCS) for push ups in a day while I was the class 1SG. I knew I was getting up there in numbers when one of the TACs came out from the building and was surprised I was still getting smoked. Luckily, I am a strong Ranger. But who knew something as small as saluting back from getting your morning report with a pen in your hand could lead to such unique experience.

That was one of many times I can recall. I have seen others pay the price for something as small as messing up an email address on a form. Which was priceless.

What have you done or see that led to a smoke session?
Edited 8 y ago
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LCDR Gabriel Helms
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I was in my final week of boot camp, back in '90. Several of us were on the way back from chow one day, and we saw a brand new company marching down the grinder, still in the PT gear they give you the second you walk in. To a man, they were all marching stiff- armed with their hands pinned to their thighs. The DI notices it the same time that we do and yells, "What are you, fucking robots?! Swing your fucking arms!!" To a man, they all start swinging their arms, but instead of alternating them like normal people, they are all swinging both arms forward at the same time, which struck us as hilarious and we started laughing. Their DI of course saw and heard us laughing and knew the reason why. He yelled across the grinder for us to drop as he makes his way over to us as his company marches in place. He gets to us, bends down and starts wildly waving his arms to make it look like he's yelling at us. He knows we are in our final week. Then he says, "That was some pretty fucked up shit right there, huh? Are these guys fucking retarded?! Pretend you're exhausted and get up with a bad look on your face. Try not to laugh while I get these fucktards back to their barracks, please?" He stands up, turns around and walks back to his company and as he leaves us, we hear him say, "I don't get paid enough for this shit."
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SFC Management
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When I was stationed at Ft Campbell every Friday we have a company "fun run" with the CDR. It was a Ind event. A 3 mile run and whoever beat the CDR got the rest of the day off. Back when I had good knees and could run I'd usually give him a close run for his money(usually with 5-10 secs of catching him). One Friday he must have been having a bad day(or I was having a good one), but I SMOKED him by at least a good 30-45 seconds. I'm at the end point ready to blow chunks all over the road when I heard him yelling for me to drop. So I'm down doing P/U and he crosses the finish line just flat out livid. Claiming I cheated etc. By now I am blowing chunks attempting to do P/U. He looks at me and just busts out laughing along other that had finished the run. And yes I did get the rest of the day off, and no I was never able to beat him after that.
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CAPT Kevin B.
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Edited 8 y ago
Push ups and I never agreed. Never could do many but surprised myself how many I could do when the Company Commander Chief put a dog turd under my face and said he'd move it if I did 50. Unfortunately I brown nosed at 48. Chief said next time he'd stop by a cow pasture.
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Capt Seid Waddell
Capt Seid Waddell
8 y
CAPT Kevin B., that gives a whole new meaning to "brown nose", doesn't it, sir?
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CPT Assistant Operations Officer (S3)
CPT (Join to see)
8 y
I don't think you could do that now a days.
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CPT Robert Boshears
CPT Robert Boshears
8 y
Is the job title "Deck Ape" politically correct? I kind of liked being a deck ape, was better than being a butter bar in the Army.
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CAPT Kevin B.
CAPT Kevin B.
8 y
It's an old Navy term for Boatswain Mate which still hangs around. There were many terms like "Twidget" for ET's, "Oh Shitter" for OS's, "Snipe" for the guys in the engine room, and the list goes on.
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